I don't know about being sorry for an abuser ... but I do know I've noticed lately that I take other people's perspectives to the point of ignoring my own perspective. I have been trying to consciously step back from that. I think it is a result of being raised by someone who was unable to take other perspectives, and instead demanded of us from the instant we popped out of the womb, that we take THEIR perspective. So we have way too much practice taking other people's perspectives and too little practice just being with our own perspectives. I'm way quick to jump to "how he/she must be feeling, how he/she looks at this situation" without BEING with my own feelings and how I look at the situation.
Actually I think this would make an excellent research project for somebody ... there is some evidence that early-developing theory of mind is linked to depression ... i'll have to look up the references if anybody asks though. Theory of mind is the first component of perspective-taking ... it develops around the age of three and involves understanding what information other people have about a situation, even if it differs from what YOU know. Awhile back I read an article that says that children who were assessed as having a precocious or early-developing theory of mind as preschoolers tended to be more perfectionistic and self-critical as kindergartners. Makes sense to me!