Just want you to know my heart ached reading those stories of what you went through with your terribly disturbed, sick mother... But I am so glad you're writing them out. That's a powerful, healing thing to do. Keep it up.
Here's much comfort for you, and compassion, as you build your OWN inner mother and love love love yourself.
You deserve it, you always did, and you can comfort the child inside you who was treated so viciously.
Your womb-donor biomother was actually deranged. You deserved so much better. Luck of the draw, random fate, you pulled one of the evil ones. But that was HER.
All you are is lovely Worn, pulling her new strong threads together, knitting her OWN heart whole.
Don't you worry, girl. There's a whole lot of creative yarn, a limitless supply, and love in the universe. Ask yourself every single day to notice it, however it shows up. And know how completely welcome you are to all the love you want...it's like sunshine, it'll never run out, it's always available.
You didn't get taught that because she had no idea. But you do. (Doesn't have to be a god-thing if you're not religious. For me, it's just...a deep voice, maybe nature's, maybe something so mysterious I could never find a word for it. But it's still real.)
You deserve to swim around in a pool of genuine, tender-hearted compassionate self love. EXACTLY what the doctor ordered.
Promise to practice?
love,
Hops
