Moments of lucidity in N's

[SilverLining]

I think Narcissism is the ego gone wild and to the extreme, so unless you are without ego, when you operate out of it you will find your own inner narcissist, however it is wrong to project the personality disorder onto these temporary egocentric ways of being or defenses. A personality disorder is marked by its rigidity and inability to be much else than this way. Unfortunately they have invented the term 'traits' to broaden the use of the label to people acting out of their ego in particular ways or locked at the time, for whatever reason, into ego centric ways of being. Beats trying to understand what is going on for them, particularly when you might be involved in the situation and could be part of the reason their defences are so heightened?
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Hi Lucky.  These comments are worth thinking about, however it seems to me there's a danger in taking too much back on ourselves.   We are part of the cause of their anxiety by the mere fact of our existence.   To the N, the world is a reflection of themselves.  Anything that doesn't fit that reflection is experienced (even if unconsciously) as a threat.  It isn't something we are going to be able to manage by modifying our own behavior.  Since the comments came from someone on a board not primarily concerned with Nism e.t.c..  I have to wonder if he/she has really had much experience dealing with the behavior patterns discussed on this board.  How much effort did this poster put into considering what YOU have been through before posting advice.    

One of the breakthroughs in my understanding of my FOO was realizing my father responds to EVERYBODY with typical and rigid behavioral patterns.  It wasn't just something I was doing wrong.    

[Lucky]

SilverLining, my thoughts exactly. It really pays off to learn as much as possible about narcissism and narcissists. And I alsp think the narcissism is not caused by people that are around the narcissist at this time and moment but was caused years earlier in the N's childhood. Learining more about N helps to open one's eyes to one's own N traits and awareness is the first step in the process of overcoming these (dysfuntional) traits.