Hi NoLongerASlave,
I would add that NMs can destroy the daughters relationships with men merely by her expectations and disapproval. My NM would frequently walk into a Starbucks with me and say things like - eww, there is no one here for you to date. By disapproving of men in shorts, in baseball caps, with facial hair, with all sorts of other things she finds unacceptable - she has already told me that these men are not acceptable to HER. She would also gossip and criticize the husbands of other women (neighbors, daughters of friends etc) and make cruel and unusual judgments about them. I've also witnessed her disrespect to my sister in law (no surprise that my brother and her are separated). Fortunately for my SIL (who is truly wonderful by all accounts except my NM) her mother is a well trained therapist, who recognized my NM for what she is. I think my SIL has an excellent support system, but feel bad she married into our dysfunctional family. She deserved better (even though my brother on his own is great by all accounts, except of course, you guessed it, my NM). We're all hard working, law abiding, well educated, respectable people, but she treats us like convicted felons who can't be trusted....
