or just really really annoying?
I've been lurking here for awhile. My parents were both definitely narcissists, and my reading here has helped me a lot. I will post more about that later, but right now I wanted to discuss a co-worker of mine. I've been wondering if perhaps she's actually got some form of narcissism.
"Darla" is the co-worker who's personality I am questioning. She is very friendly, but incredibly rude and obnoxious at all times, always at the ready with a "joking insult", and oblivious to other people's boundaries. She is incapable of sitting and concentrating on her work. She has to be entertained constantly, and makes jokes about this fact. She often says she comes to work for entertainment because her home life is so boring.
I am relatively quiet at work. My job requires my full attention (I can't chat with someone and do my work at the same time - it has to be one or the other). I enjoy the occasionally-throughout-the-day chat session with co-workers, but generally I am quiet and working. I get along with everyone just fine, but I am the quietest one there and it might make me stand out.
Darla interrupts me constantly all day long to ask the most obnoxiously stupid questions: Can I make some more coffee? 2 minutes later she's back with Who's banana is this? (I replied I didn't know and she proceeded to badger me as to why I didn't know). 5 minutes later she's back with Do you think Bob will mind if I eat his yogurt? 8 minutes later and its (in April) what date was President's Day (again when I replied I didn't know she pretended to be astonished that I didn't know when all the holidays fell and went on about this for 5 minutes. I guess she believes me to be a walking calendar). And this goes ..... on ... alll....day. And she also throws in legitimate work-related questions. But she never asks anyone else. I am her self-appointed go-to girl and this girl can't go to the bathroom without interrupting me to ask if she should wash her hands too.
Either she thinks I am The Keeper Of All Knowledge, or it bothers her that I'm quietly minding my business. She does not do this particularly annoying thing to any of my co-workers, from what I've observed. I have no idea who she torments when I'm on vacation.
However, it isn't just me on other issues. She has "accidentally" broken personal items of each one of her co-workers, never apologizes, and when she gets a response to the breakage like "Hey, you broke my _______" her response is always "Well I didn't do it on purpose!" I guess that makes it ok.
She is always taking other people's food out of the refrigerator and always denies it unless caught with the food right in her possession. And then her response is "Well I thought it was mine, I thought I had brought ___ the other day." Again no apology and she'll do it again the next day.
If a group of us is laughing and chatting and she isn't part of the conversation she will approach, every time, and ask "You guys are talkin about me, aren't you?" This constant question was what started me wondering if narcissism was an issue here. I have finally started responding "Yes Darla, its always about you."
And she talks constantly, to anyone she can trap. She just will not shut up, no matter how busy you look. I don't know if thats because she likes hearing herself talk, likes keeping others distracted from their work, or if she's just an incredibly annoying person in general.
Another co-worker of mine, who is childless and single, was approached by Darla on a Friday and asked if she was going to see a particular movie. My co-worker responded yes, she was going to see it Saturday afternoon. So Darla said oh great, my daughter wants to see it too, and I don't, so why don't you take her? I'll pay. Feeling trapped, she agreed (and later, Darla "forgot" to pay her). She likes the girl and really didn't mind so much, but was very unhappy at the way Darla went about it. Clearly Darla expertly set a trap, rather than just ask up front if she could help her out. I don't understand the trap-setting mentality at all, except that Darla didn't want to risk hearing the words "No, I'd rather not." There have been numerous other occasions where, instead of asking for what she wants and giving the other person an opportunity to respond, she sets a trap instead to insure she gets her way.
