I could re-draw my mother

[Anonymous]

I could re-draw my mother, this is how she would be:

Her face would be friendly, non-threatening, non-scowling
Her stance would be one of real confidence and inviting to others
Her arms would look welcoming instead of harmful
There would be a sweet smell about her, not the stench of loathing
Her eyes would portray love, not hatred
Her ears would be visible, not missing
Her mouth would be turned up in a smile as I approached her
Soft soothing words would escape her mouth
She would have lips capable of kissing me on the forehead
Her arms would be long enough to reach around me for a bear hug
Her lap would be strong enough to hold a little child
Her strength would be enough to stand up for a child

[Firebird]

If I could redraw my mother, she'd be invisible, behind bars or in a straightjacket.

[Cj]

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[Cj]

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[Moonflower]

....

[elephant woman]

My NMum would :
-not complain, rather deal with what she has and try to do the best with it
-not play the victim nor use guilt trips to get her hooks
-not project her bad feelings onto me to feel a little better, but recognize them as their own, accept them, deal w/them
-not create conflicts among family members to have more control
-be there (not hung up on the phone) when I am in hospital for an operation
-be interested in people for who they are and not for what she thinks they can provide to her
-express a minimum of feelings, at least say something when her husband is at the hospital and nobody knowing if he will be alive the next morning.
-be able not to constantly say bad things about every member of the family.
-not belittle her huband, her husband family / country of origin.
-not raise her children in the hatred of the father,
-not consider her husband only as a source of revenue, me as a cost (when I am financially independent)
-be able to mourn the loss of her father (died 25 years ago), end her oedipus
-be able to mourn the loss of a "good mother" that she never had and she never will have (GrandMa is not going to change at 97   )
-accept the fact that her 3 daughters in their 30s are women and not little girls and accept her own feminity as a gift.
-stop being jealous of everyone on earth
-be alive/positive and let others around her be alive/positive
-be sincere, straightforward, brave.
-be human and consider others as individuals, not extensions
-be an adult who accepts moral responsibiility and not a pre-teen little girl whining, complaining, and badmouthing
I think she will get worst and worst as she grows older.  

[Dawning]

Thanks for starting this thread, guest.

If I could re-draw my mother, she would be able to care about others and not just herself.  She would not demand that her own child (under the age of 10) answer to every one of her needs and not consider - unless I was injured - that I might have one, single need of my own.  

She would not be a narcissist.  She would be able to show genuine interest in the lives of others even when they do not have a direct impact on her own life or when she thinks she can use that fake interest to serve her own needs in some way.  

She would be brave and courageous and seek our therapy.  She would not *use* her own daughter to act out her craziness for her, thus keeping her off the hook.  

If I could re-draw my mother, she would love me so she wouldn't be able to use or take advantage of me b/c people who love don't do that to others, do they?