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Out of the FOG

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sKePTiKal:

--- Quote ---Dissociation means never having to say you're sorry... 
--- End quote ---

Hahahahaahaa! This SO true - and so screwed up - all I can do in response is laugh at it. I continue to experience this one from both mom and bro. The ancilliary truth in this... is that dissociation means you don't ever have to be held accountable, either, and may actually be the original source of so much of the denial of actual facts from both of them.

SilverLining:

--- Quote from: PhoenixRising on July 02, 2011, 08:04:49 AM ---

 The ancilliary truth in this... is that dissociation means you don't ever have to be held accountable
--- End quote ---

It's so true.  I've been thinking lately about the incredible double standard this sets up in the FOO relationships.  They can't and won't be held accountable for anything.  But we, being the real adults in the situation are held to an absolute standard. 

I've been tiptoeing around the FOO members for nearly 50 years.  If I even have a slip of the tongue and say something which offends them or makes them uncomfortable, I risk setting off a neurotic breakdown that could go on for days or even month.   But they can say or do whatever they want and there is no repercussion. 

Apparently one of my mothers confidantes recently got tired of her rantings and suggested she forgive the offender and move on.  My mother says this is impossible because the offender hasn't apologized.  No apology No forgiveness.   I think it's a good insight into her reality.     

So in adaptation to this situation, I learned to be responsive to them without ever expecting any emotional reciprocity in return. 
 

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