This must be the "emails from dad" week

[Butterfly]

I received an email from Ndad last week.  Horrible, just horrible.  I had not heard from him in well over a year, and I have limited contact to email, no visits, no calls. 

According to Ndad: 

-  I am shameful, unloving, terrible, etc. 
-  I am a liar and all my memories are wrong. 
-  He "checked his notes" and has determined that all my accusations and complaints against him are completely false. 
-  He "knows much more than I do."  He is very smart. 
-  He wants to know "what my problem is."
-  He demands that I accept his version of my life.
-  I should be ashamed of myself. 
-  He "loves me very much." 
-  (My feelings are never mentioned.) 

Just awful . . .

butterfly

[Hopalong]

Accck.
I hate poison and pain in the Inbox.
That must've really hurt, Butterfly. I'm sorry this happened to you.

Can you create a filter that will dump him into the Trash?

Or Block Sender?

I feel as though email is a fairly undefended space, emotionally, for most people...you just click and then you're exposed to whatever the person feels like saying or spewing.

So if someone sends toxic things, imo it's good to make email NOT a way to communicate with (or receive communications from) that person.

Hops

[SilverLining]

Hi Butterfly. 

I understand how you feel because I used to get a lot of poison written stuff from my father. I've noticed N's like to use writing because it's a way of making a conversation totally one sided.   They can pretend to be having a relationship with another person when they are really only having a dialogue in their own heads.  You get dumped on, and then they can easily ignore your response.  Even when it's not outright nasty, it's still one-sided.   At least in my case, there was never any real invitation to a response.  My father just wanted to dump his stuff on me, and then tell himself he was making an effort to communicate.

I agree with Hops.  The best thing to do is either set up an electronic filter to dump the emails into the trash,  or set up an internal "mental filter" to just dismiss it all as meaningless drivel.     

[sfalken]

Oh man...

Do I EVER feel your pain. I'm on the way out at the moment but I just saw your post, and I had to say something. Maybe you're my long lost sibling?


Hang in there. If you ever want to chat, I'd be more than happy to.

SF

[Sealynx]

Okay...this drove me to my library.....Here is a jewel of a book I loved called "Verbally Abusive Relationships: How to recognize it and how to respond.

http://www.amazon.com/Verbally-Abusive-Relationship-recognize-respond/dp/1440504636/ref=pd_sim_b_3

If you decide to buy, come back and use doc's link so the board is supported.