CB: I agree with you, that even without a name or DSM classification of just how my momster is disordered, that any T would be able to see the results of that kind of primary relationship on me. I think where I was going with all that was summed up succinctly by Hops - about the power of a "name". I am afraid that without a name for these people, that in the collective conscious, the model/pattern/concept will cease to exist... yet the momsters & popsters & abuse will continue their destruction, unacknowledged by society. Starting with the psychological community.
Thanks mud, for your thoughts! I admit that I'm going through what might be a futile "thought exercise". Where are the tools to quantify the criteria (and can we identify enough criteria that is consistent across many kinds of Ns?) of what an N is? Maybe Guest's suggestion of MRIs in identifying faulty neuro-wiring... but I'm not sure it's evolved to that point yet.
Your comment about yellow streaks, does give me another idea, tho. It tied in with the criteria of control over others - and that is, that I think NPDs are literally scared to death to feel anything, so instead they manipulate others into emotional states... through what I'll just call psychological warfare, for now... so that they can at least "see" what the emotions might look - might feel like. It's almost as if, in their quest to preserve their inner delusion of perfection... they dare not sully themselves with an emotion. It's too viscerally human. So they create the conflicts, wield anger or control like a club, trespass boundaries... all to externalize emotion so that they can then laugh at it, put it down, or put it under a microscope & study it... because it's completely foreign to them. They don't care that this is mean; it's how they continue existing. Like a form of self-preservation. They have to act on something outside themselves to "be" - to exist - to feel "real".
But, perhaps, that's only one form of NPD; maybe that's not even NPD... I truly don't know. But like a lot of people, I would consult the DSM to find out where that description "fits" best. The DSM isn't simply an encyclopedia of symptoms for mental health professionals, anymore. It's become accepted as the authoritative dictionary of disorders and is how people have been able to mainstream ideas into popular culture about BiPolar, Depression, etc. Perhaps, that's not what it was intended to be... and there are certainly dangers inherent in the attempts to classify someone's behavior and "stick a label on them" by the general public. A quick tour through all the support boards on the 'net returns a lot of comments about the DSM this... the DSM that...
So the cat's out of the bag already... In a way, awareness of and attempts to understand mental health issues is a really good thing - overall and long term. I just don't see that popular culture can sustain a conversation or discussion long enough to deal with the subtleties or complexities... to do more than label - correctly or incorrectly. And the DSM is the tool that enables them to do this. So, taking away that "name" for this particular kind of disorder is, I'm afraid, going to lessen awareness of NPD and only add to overall confusion about where healthy N stops and turns into abusive NPD.
I'm not sure it should, but it does matter to me.
I've talked myself inside out & in circles, on this and I can't wait to read what Dr. G has to offer on this topic!