One more suggestion, Lupe...
since it sounds as though you can only see your T once a month (or the group)... start looking for books to read (or websites with info) on how and why we keep repeating these kinds of relationships. One that really helped to push me past a difficult "stuck" place was Claudia Black's "Changing Course - Healing from Loss, Abandoment and Fear". Remember, if money is an issue, the library will have a lot of - or can get for you - these books. Check local university libraries, too. They often lend books to their community folk.
Of course, not everything in a book applies to everyone (sometimes we don't recognize it immediately, too) but I've found that learning how others see us Adult Children of Abusive/N/Neglectful/Mentally Ill Parents helps me understand how my own dysfunctional systems work and maybe most importantly - it gives me some hope and shows me specifically what I can work toward - a real goal. Learning these systems of "how-to" help myself have helped me have some confidence in my own ability to break the inevitability of repeating, repeating, repeating the same old mistakes.
