Author Topic: Started a new T  (Read 2060 times)

Lupita

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2457
Started a new T
« on: December 30, 2010, 01:46:55 PM »
Thank you for the answers in the other thread.

All answers are wonderful.

I started a new T. She played roles with me. It was very enlightening. I would say 
 N-Lightning if you get the joke. She said that I give two much power to things that are done to me, and too little power to things that I can do. It was very helpful, she is the co-leader of the group therapy that I will start on Monday.
I feel very positive after talking to her. How can endorphins be generated just far seeing a new T with positive answers?
She said that being with M is under my control.
M e-mailed me and asked me to celebrate the new year with him. I said yes as friends and that I would dance wit others and he would dance with others and I would not tell him who to dance with.
I will drive my self, I will not go to his house again, I will carry my shoes, I will pay for my drinks, I will leave when I want, same as him.
I told him to be just friends.
We might have coffee tonight to talk about friendship. Just that.

Lupita

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2457
Re: Started a new T
« Reply #1 on: December 30, 2010, 01:54:06 PM »
The best thing that she did for me today was that she asked me to think of something I am grateful. I said, all my years of work do not count in my country and I have to work till I am 70 to retire. She said what else, I said, I do not like my job, I connect with bad men, God does not give me what I ask him. She said, why do you go to work. I said, because I have to. She said, many people choose to be homeless and want others to take care of them because they are very depressed. You get up and go to work and they keep you because you might be doing a decent job. I said, I guess I am not that despressed to stay in bed and become homeless, I still get up, take a shower, borsh my teeth and go to work despite I do not like it.
She said, isnt that something to be grateful?
I was so happy that she made me without me relising what she was doing, say somethin I could not say on my own. I like her. I payed 40 dollars.
So, that is my tango party moeny for new yars eve, so no tango party for new years eve. I will go to a friend who open a new bar and she has nobody, I will give her support and the bar is five minutes from my house, yeepy!!!!!!
When I told M in my answer that I would not go to tango he was very happy and he said he would love to show some support for our friend new bad owner. So, he will not go to tango either. I will let you know if he went to this little place or not.
Wish me luck and strnght, to be friends with M and never to be his mouse again, or sorry, "girlfriend".

Baddaughter

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 68
Re: Started a new T
« Reply #2 on: December 30, 2010, 04:31:43 PM »
I'm so happy to hear!  I'm glad the universe is squeaking out a few endorphins for you -- you deserve them!
Love, Biddy

lighter

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8633
Re: Started a new T
« Reply #3 on: December 30, 2010, 05:34:40 PM »
Wow, Lupe.

Very interesting 2 posts.

I'm glad you found a T you connect with, and who can help you understand yourself.

Enjoy that NYE party!

Lighter

JustKathy

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 631
Re: Started a new T
« Reply #4 on: December 30, 2010, 07:37:47 PM »
Congratulations on finding a new T, Lupita. It can be hard to find someone who you really click with. Sounds like you're off to a good start. I think seeing this woman on a regular basis will be very good for you.

nolongeraslave

  • Guest
Re: Started a new T
« Reply #5 on: December 30, 2010, 08:44:31 PM »
Congrats on finding a new T and seeing that you're doing better. :) Love the tips that she's given you. I hope you feel better and regain your strength.

Hopalong

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 13619
Re: Started a new T
« Reply #6 on: December 30, 2010, 10:05:59 PM »
Yes, indeed. New T sounds wonderful, Lup...but more to the point, you're ready to HEAR her.

It will be a learning experience to find out whether the idea of being "just friends" with M will be healthy for you.

love and luck, keep us posted...

xo
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

debkor

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1070
Re: Started a new T
« Reply #7 on: December 31, 2010, 12:39:02 AM »
Hi Lup,

I wish you a very Happy and New Year!!!!!!  You go girl.

Love
Deb

Lupita

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2457
Re: Started a new T
« Reply #8 on: December 31, 2010, 12:43:34 AM »
Thank you Lighter, Nolonger, baddaughter, Just K.

Hop, it is not healthy to be friends. It would be perfect if I can disappear him from my life. But I am improving, two weeks ago I was adoring him, one week ago I was crying and praying for him to write me, last tuesday I was mad, now I want to be just friends. It is better than going back and metl in his arms.
I went to the movies with a male friend tonight. I went swing dancing with another male friend last night. My friend tonight told me that I should got o tango and he would dance with me. I know I will look better in the dance floor than M. I am more tanlented than him.

I just need to be able to detach from him. It will happen. I just paid 40 dollars today. It costs money.

sKePTiKal

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5441
Re: Started a new T
« Reply #9 on: December 31, 2010, 07:49:10 AM »
Lupe - it also takes time to detach, to remove yourself from a relationship. No matter WHO you are!

Quote
But I am improving, two weeks ago I was adoring him, one week ago I was crying and praying for him to write me, last tuesday I was mad, now I want to be just friends. It is better than going back and metl in his arms.

And while I don't think it's easy for anyone, we can make it easier or harder for ourselves. I'm so glad your T is teaching you how to make it easier. I think you'll enjoy the group, too.
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

lighter

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8633
Re: Started a new T
« Reply #10 on: December 31, 2010, 09:02:10 AM »
::clapping happily::

I'm so glad you have a friend to go to Tango class with you.

That should take your mind off M, and help you get back to focusing on dance, and the fun of other people.

Keep making plans with nice people, and taking action.

I'm so proud of you, Lupe.

Lighter

Lupita

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2457
Re: Started a new T
« Reply #11 on: December 31, 2010, 11:49:46 AM »
PR and Light, thank you.

Tonight I am going to a friend who open a bar and she needs support. The bar is ten minutes from my house.  M will be there, but I am not driving with him, he is not picking me up.

It will be hard to leave the place without him. It is our first date as friends.

God will help me to be strong. Also thinking on all the damage he has done to me will help.

lighter

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8633
Re: Started a new T
« Reply #12 on: December 31, 2010, 12:14:26 PM »
Lupe:

Isn't M your first real boyfriend in like...... 18 years?

You deserved to dance, and have a romantic relationship.

I'm glad you did.

It's just sad that you couldn't re-file him under "just fun" and change your expectations of him from less seriouse designation.

This is all a learning experience....... keep growing and looking for better things.

Lighter