The ancilliary truth in this... is that dissociation means you don't ever have to be held accountable
It's so true. I've been thinking lately about the incredible double standard this sets up in the FOO relationships. They can't and won't be held accountable for anything. But we, being the real adults in the situation are held to an absolute standard.
I've been tiptoeing around the FOO members for nearly 50 years. If I even have a slip of the tongue and say something which offends them or makes them uncomfortable, I risk setting off a neurotic breakdown that could go on for days or even month. But they can say or do whatever they want and there is no repercussion.
Apparently one of my mothers confidantes recently got tired of her rantings and suggested she forgive the offender and move on. My mother says this is impossible because the offender hasn't apologized. No apology No forgiveness. I think it's a good insight into her reality.
So in adaptation to this situation, I learned to be responsive to them without ever expecting any emotional reciprocity in return.
