Hops,
You have seen all types (in terms of therapist self-disclosure and boundaries), and I appreciated your perspective and where you have ended up. You’re right. In and of itself, self-disclosure does not make for great therapy—the text and subtext of that self-disclosure are critical. But I think, as you do, that “feet of clay” are usually damaging.
CB,
Personality disorders including Borderline Personality Disorder present a whole different challenge for a therapist. My “kind of therapy”, I found, largely failed with patients with BPD. DBT (a mixture of cognitive therapy and mindfulness training) is not relationship based, but largely technique based. (Couple’s therapy, too, is largely advice-based, and not relationship based—so I’m not surprised self-disclosure didn’t help.) So, I’m not sure that Marsha Linehan’s acknowledgement would have helped her patients had she offered it in real time. Still, like you, I admire her admission—and I believe her having had the disorder was crucial to her finding something that worked for others.
Ales2,
I think your therapist telling you that his children were in therapy, in order to reduce your stigma/guilt was a fine thing to do…
Boat that Rocks
Here’s some evidence of the value of therapist self-disclosure:
Therapists Redraw Line on Self-Disclosure
By ERICA GOODE
Published: January 01, 2002
http://www.nytimes.com/2002/01/01/health/therapists-redraw-line-on-self-disclosure.htmlPR,
“I find the idea that a therapist is an all-knowing, all-powerful Oz who has all the answers and the magic ability to "fix" me... well, it's off-putting. Yet, I think we all start the process with that stereotype in our minds.”
I agree. In the psychoanalytic heyday at the major teaching hospitals and institutes, this is what, in my experience, therapists wanted people to believe. Many people were either not helped or damaged as a result.
“Personally, I don't think a T's personal history is relevant to being able to guide a client through the process of learning a new balance within themselves. You reach out, steady them, help them find their balance... then slowly, give them the room to realize they can move around just fine, without wobbling and falling again. That doesn't require the T to have experienced vertigo, you know?”
In my experience, both as a patient and supervising other therapists, those who had experienced “vertigo” (metaphorically speaking) or some other disorder that allowed them to know something of what it was like from more than an intellectual perspective, were much better at helping those with the disorder. But there are many variables here, including whether the treatment was technique based (e.g. cognitive therapy), how severe the problem was, how broad or narrow the problem was, etc.
Bones,
If the therapist is narcissistic, self-disclosure is of no use at all…
Guest,
Yes, it definitely helps to know something about the therapist’s specialties before you start. The internet has been a wonderful help in that regard.
TT,
“It's kind of like a piano tuner knows how to tune a piano, but not necessarily know how to play a piano in the strict sense (if that makes any sense).”
For some problems, technique based solutions work fine. But for other’s, IMO, a relationship is required—and the better the relationship, the better the outcome.
Bones,
“On the other hand, I had the unfortunate experience of a therapist abandoning her patients in group therapy because an issue that came up with us triggered her PTSD. NOT fun!”
That’s a very sad situation.
Thanks to all for your responses,
Richard
