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The social network phenomenon

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Meh:
First thing that pops into my mind is that some of the personas posted on the social network sites are not even admirable personas. There is some trend of admiring those with less then high quality personality traits....I guess I am thinking about guys bragging about being jerks but that's nothing new.

I think there is some truth to what comes through on peoples social network profiles. A propensity towards darkness, or naivety or other qualities.

I have an acquaintance that has a personal website showing every darn thing their baby/toddler does and a picture of their house and what neighborhood they live in etc. They are very nice people but maybe too trusting, I do wonder why they don't protect it with a password and only give that to their close friends because everybody and anybody can see every detail of their lives even what they own inside their home. Sometimes I think people just forget that anyone can see.

It's a loss of privacy and a willing loss of privacy in exchange for showing the world how cute their baby is and how wonderful their stuff is.

Also the concept of "friending" itself...brings up thoughts for me. Some people it seems to me just want/demand attention or acknowledgement but those things are very different from a friendship where attention and acknowledgement are involved but are not the the main motivation for the "friendship".

To me it seems hard on the internet to develop friendships rather then just the attention seeking interactions that some people call friendship?

A side note: (I haven't had the emotional energy to waste on FTF interactions with people who are not potential friends, the best I can do is not do anything to make their lives worse but I don't go out of my way to be "friendly" when I overhear everybody elses problems in my real world life....and I think some of them get offended that I ignore them because I get an attitude from them....I just think it's ridiculous how some people believe they have a right to demand attention and time from others who are not even friends at all.)

But that is me just exploring my decision making process for who I give time to....I think I started learning this from a friend who is a law student...she often spoke and had body language in a way that sometimes made it clear she was plain old BUSY! And I liked that a lot.

Think it's funny the way "Modern People are too busy to exercise/Too busy to cook old fashioned meals/Too busy to wait in line" BUT Modern people spend a lot of time on empty tasks like twitter etc.

Last thing I have to add, A male acquaintance of mine posted on his photo-gallery site pictures he had taken of hundreds of women, strangers on the street of their bra straps, their legs, their shoes, their boobs, even shots of underwear showing from under skirts when the women were sitting down...Not only are some people posting about themselves but people are posting about others without them knowing about it.

I b*tched about what he had posted and he locked it so it's not available for the world to see any longer.

Meh:

--- Quote from: Hopalong on July 16, 2011, 10:43:39 AM ---I have recoiled from FB, mainly because I think I would be addictively involved, and full of anxiety, and increasingly isolated. I'm already online way too much.:(
Hops

--- End quote ---

I like the way that you have pointed out that you believe you would feel increasingly isolated if you were to spend more time communicating electronically with people.

sKePTiKal:

--- Quote ---I suppose that would explain why I've always been more drawn to discussion boards online than the social-net idle chatter or chat description of me and my life... I much prefer having a one on one discussion and really get to know that person (relationship) versus just making light, witty cocktail (or art student) banter. The latter is fun - in small doses... but it's also "not enough" to sustain me. Empty calories.

But there is something that bothers me about how it easy it is... with profiles, walls, collections of "clues" to how "cool" someone is/isn't... to create & project something that isn't genuine; something we wish we were or that we lie to ourselves about being. Almost as if, we're encouraging people - everyone's doing it! - to create this extra layer of personality - this false persona - and maintain it. As if, we've come full circle back to the social theme of "only appearances matter"....
--- End quote ---

I started getting lost in my own thoughts over this... distracted while laughing at some of Guest's great observations... and well, it seemed I need to go back & reclaim my original focus. And as usual, there's more than one in what I quoted above...

and what I've just realized is that this topic is more about boundaries than technology... and currently all my brain processors are maxxed out both in speed and data... I'm processing a whole bunch o' stuff faster than I can put it adequately into words. But it's all my own story; my own progress... and doesn't have a thing to do with FB. It's just that I am always better able to "see" things like this, in experiences and things other than looking directly at myself. Y'all don't need to hear another iteration of my story and I don't need to write it all out anymore (please! not again)... so I'm going to let the bit-torrent slow down and see if I can render this down to what it is about the two paragraphs above and FB that connects with boundaries.

Hopalong:
Oh, the irony... (((Boat)))   :D

I wrote a lay sermon on loneliness and one point of it was, when you get isolated enough, you get depressed, and then if somebody calls to invite you to do something, you say something like, "I don't think I'd be good company right now..."

I have experienced that--being so lonely that if offered a chance to break out of my isolation I felt too lonely to accept the invitation.

YAARGGGGGGGGGGHHHH

I am positive (so far) that I am one of those who would make an alternate onlne life out of FB and wind up lonelier than ever. If I could not go out, it would be a godsend, perhaps. For the old or homebound.

But I'm already nearly homebound during my off hours voluntarily (or I've been through long episodes of self-isolating) and when I'm depressed, even moreso. So I need to push myself toward more ftf interactions and meetings and activities.

VESMB is a grand and positive exception for me. I do miss the times when there were many more voices and dialogues going on here, but hope those who are quieter will pop in again.

xxoo
Hops

Guest:
PR

--- Quote ---I think FB in particular, encourages this kind of herd mentality. There's a feedback loop to find a bunch of people who validate you and your way of thinking - hey! they're just like me. And dissenters or people who think/feel differently are sent to seek their "own kind"... their own herd. There's no in-depth, ongoing discussion - of all viewpoints.
--- End quote ---
I think you touched on this - that the above is no different to 'real life'. Who really consorts with people who don't agree with them, who hold vastly different opinions, who don't 'validate' them? In most cases? (!)

And well these sites have quite a cool stalking function I find. Whether people want to tweet their lives, their holidays, their locations, their events, their N personas, their insecurities - it's not like you have to go digging for dirt these days. It must be a huge resource for journalists (those who have a clue). And even for the more mundane things, like seeing that that chap you once knew is now a fat bugger with an insane wife, mixing in a community of like-minded fruitbats.

And of course if one does tread carefully out to interact in the virtual society, it's possible to tell an awful lot about people you do know - and those you don't - just from the way they do interact, or more tellingly, don't. When people ignore you - or each other - it tells you something about them. All human life is there, one way or another. Navigation is important. Fascinating!

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