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N moms and their obsession with weight

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Guest:
Hi NLAS


--- Quote ---She said that I'm her daughter and that she doesn't have to respect my feelings and wants. 
--- End quote ---

This is pretty much unforgivable. Period.

(((((NLAS)))))

nolongeraslave:
Hello everybody,

Thanks for the warm thoughts. I truly apologize I haven't been on here as often..My life has been crazy, even though I know it's not an excuse! I posted this, because I was sure that others may have been in the same situation.  It's amazing how every narcissistic trait came out in my mom within 30 minutes or so.

I feel better now, because I did tell my mom that I have worth as a human being, that I have rights, and that I will not tolerate being treated badly. For 25 f*cking years of my life, I sat there thinking that I was sh*t.  Now, I'm fighting back against her wrath.

Guest-Yes, her comment hurt. It made me think back at how badly I've been treated by others in my life.   If my own mom can't respect me, no wonder I was the type of person that put up with bad behavior from others. I conditioned to think that I didn't deserve respect.

Speaking of weight, my roommate had said "You did gain a lot of weight. Do you keep it on to piss your mom off? Just something to think about."  Wow, I thought my roommate was worse than my mom for a second. Mind others, my roommate is also a therapist that prides herself.   My roommate also knows I have BDD, so I found it strange or just unreasonable to say that.

My therapist recommended to just keep setting boundaries.  I remember a book saying to repeat "What?" (Patricia Evans on controlling people).  I know my mom is getting off on me being upset and offended.

My mom also claims that all of her co-workers talk about weight and have no problem taking criticism. At all of my jobs, NOBODY talked about that stuff. What world is she living in?

BonesMS:
The NWomb-Donor is living on her own planet, with its own set of "reality" which exists only in her own warped and twisted mind!   :P

Hopalong:

--- Quote ---all of her co-workers talk about weight and have no problem taking criticism.
--- End quote ---

to me, this remark that basically criticizes you for not taking criticism...is a classic bullying, abusive mind-twist. (Oh, you're "oversensitive" -- can't count the times.)

NO.

Refusing to listen to personal unwanted criticism is a HEALTHY thing.
It's GOOD that you are saying No to it.

And...hang up the phone!

hug
Hops

nolongeraslave:
For laughs, it wasn't just me who she was condescending to.  We had dinner with my partner and she told him "I'm concerned that she's dating you.  She isn't interested in other men that we bring up to her ever since she started seeing you."  WOW.  Complete disrespect to my partner.  Implying that my decisions aren't good, and that he's not worthy enough to be with me.

It's good to have someone else see her behavior.  My boyfriend said so many red flags have come up and he's only met her twice.

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