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the aftermath of no contact

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sKePTiKal:
What else is up & on your mind, kitty-meow?? Are you kinda feeling "at loose ends"? Not sure what to do with yourself without this one thing taking up so much space in your life?

How 'bout talking through some of the things you've always wanted to do, but never quite worked out? Maybe you'll find you still have an affinity for one of those things... and the desire to pursue it. I could stand to do a bit of that myself!  ;)

fraidycat:
I'm starting to think you know me better than I know myself PR ;0) Until recently I didn't have time to think about my Foo so much. My days were a lot fuller. My daughter started college and moved out this fall & even though my son moved back into our house we hardly every see him. My passions are my family, cooking, gardening and working on the ongoing remodeling jobs around the house. Now, my husband has been working long hours and I never know when son will be home, there doesn't seem to be much need to cook family meals anymore, the garden is done for the year and our remodeling plans are on hold because of the economy which has left me too much time to dwell on the past. The Holidays are around the corner and I'm sure that will help me get out of this funk... (I'm hosting Thanksgiving and invited relatives on my husbands side, both kids will be home so will have a full house)...Thanks for your insight PR once again you helped me to see the real problem so I can work through it.

Love, Fraidy

sKePTiKal:
Well, Fraidy... I don't know about knowing you that well, but I do know I've made that transition you're going through, too. There are some some seriously good things about it... silly things... fun things. It's like a whole new life, really... still connected to the past, but no longer dominated/controlled by it.

There are surprises too... as we figure out who we are, when we're no longer responsible for the raising, herding, feeding, grooming, learning how to train future humans -- our kids. You know how people say, If I only knew then, what I know now? Well, you do know now and there's nothing stopping you from trying new things or things you put aside or in a "closet", while changing diapers, burping, helping with multiplication tables, and wiping away tears and kissing boo-boos. One big surprise for me, is that I'm also not "just" the me that was devastated by the FOO-drama; not just the me that survived it. There's more than that to me but it got lost in the shuffle of homework papers, work projects, different hubbies, even in the torrent of "story" I discovered in therapy.

I'm feeling chatty & reflective (or in the mood for BS!!), so I'll post an update about me, on the "new phase" thread. But I am interested in what you discover now - what's of interest to you? what do you like now? is it the same as before kids? or different? Hey, I lived my whole life under my mom's description of me as shy and a loner! (just because I couldn't stand being around her, you know?) Turns out, I LIKE people!! I like getting to know them, too. And I'm not socially inept - just a little inexperienced and insecure about it. Nothing that practice can't fix.... LOL!


((((((('fraidycat)))))))

fraidycat:
PR I didn't mean to imply that we were close friends. I appreciate how you were able to put your finger on how I was feeling (before I did) and how to cope with it. You helped me to understand myself. Thank You! I'm still working on who I am post mommy/caretaker.  I've already moved past the mess of a child my mother made me out to be...that was never me.

Thanks again to everyone! Writing the letter really helped me to get this out of my system too- I'm over the urge to ball them out ;0)

Fraidy

sKePTiKal:
S'OK, that's just me babbling... I knew what you meant.

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