Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Kay's Story: Welcome! Sit and talk awhile...
KayZee:
I can't thank you all enough. Truly, your messages kept me sane on a very low day...
Amber, your advice re: scheduling a time of day, every day, to write about all this stuff is brilliant. I'm going to try my damndest to follow through with that. I've definitely noticed that the days when I don't want to acknowledge these feelings--or don't think I have time to--are the worst. The harder I try to forget NM, the more she pops up in everyone and everything I set my eyes on.
A friend loaned me a copy of the latest issue of Vanity Fair. There's a really great, but very sad, article in it about Courtney Love and how she's obsessed with this alleged fraud (thinks people in her org. have forged her signature on loads of expenses, stolen her money, etc). Anyway, at one point in the article, someone says Courtney could easily be very rich and successful if only she would just forget about the fraud, stop talking about it, thinking about it, obsessing about it.
I bring this up only because some days I think my NM and my childhood is to me what the fraud is to Courtney Love. What better things would I be doing, pursuing thinking about if I wasn't bogged down with all this stuff?...
But you are all right. Baby steps. One day at a time. Small, daily progress leads to big change. *At least I hope*
Thank you all again. You're extraordinary women.
lots of love, Kay
KayZee:
P.S.- Hops, I will be thinking of you and sending you lots of positive cash-flow vibes!
And Bones... Good for you for standing up to that nasty granny! I don't even know where to begin (or end) rationalizing the N potty obsessions. Maybe some N's are stuck in Freud's anal stage of development. What's that, like, age two? Sounds about right.. NM is such a toddler.
sKePTiKal:
Kay, I forgot to say - that by giving those feelings & memories "their due", by writing them, over & over again - I was able to purge them out of the obsessive level... I still "remember" and can still feel all those feelings... but they're no longer such a big part of "me" now... and I can wander out in the sunshine and play or sit inside and curl up with a book or whatever I want... without feeling "haunted" by all of that past.
I'm encouraged that you like this idea. My wish is that you are able to address this in short order and don't spend as long as I did, on this!! I'm a bit stubborn and hard-headed and my inner child is very much like a feral cat... they always do the opposite of what you want them to do and then wink at you while they're doing it!! (It's not all doom & gloom back in the past, in other words... I'm sure you'll also find your inner genuine "self" and learn to feel comfortable in your own skin, too.)
BonesMS:
--- Quote from: KayZee on October 27, 2011, 07:51:12 PM ---P.S.- Hops, I will be thinking of you and sending you lots of positive cash-flow vibes!
And Bones... Good for you for standing up to that nasty granny! I don't even know where to begin (or end) rationalizing the N potty obsessions. Maybe some N's are stuck in Freud's anal stage of development. What's that, like, age two? Sounds about right.. NM is such a toddler.
--- End quote ---
Thanks, Kay Zee and you are right that N's have a mental age of about two!
Bones
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