Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Thanksgiving?
Hopalong:
Welcome back, Kathy.
I'm really sorry to hear about all you're going through...
but glad you're telling it.
love,
Hops
Hopalong:
((((((Bones))))))))
Your birth was not a mistake.
Your birth was as beautiful an event as any birth ever was, in the whole world, and always will be.
It's her motherhood that was ugly. Not you.
And even though the two truths seem contradictory, it is the way of it in nature sometimes.
Some terrible thing or terrible power will be, like a volcano, and the lava that flows from it is beautiful...
Your imagination is beautiful, your mind and heart are beautiful, your life is beautiful.
She was the way nature made her...
Nature doesn't really make mistakes, but it does make cruelties.
You love yourself, Bones. Holidays and all.
Just keep on talking nice to yourself...no more cruelty.
You don't deserve it (and never did).
xo
Hops
KayZee:
I agree, sweet Bones.
Your NM was the mistake. And, even more importantly, she was mistaken. In action and perception, thought and deed.
You did not deserve the way she treated you. Her ill-treatment was not a reflection of you. She was incapable of seeing you for the person you are. And she missed out. Because you're wonderful, thoughtful, smart, funny. Whatever she thought she saw in you was just a projection of the qualities she despised in herself.
We're here now, regardless of our NParents intentions. And even if we were "planned," our NMs certainly didn't plan on us having our own desires, needs, feelings, perceptions! (How inconvenient for them! :D) Our lives our ours. Our feelings are valid. And we control our destinies.
I think AA's one-day-at-a-time slogan applies to DONM recovery too. Sometimes, I think, I'll just focus on being kind and patient with myself today. Or the rest of the day. Or for the next few hours. In tough times, it's sometimes easier to set short-term goals than it is to think in big terms like "my life," "the rest of my life," etc.
Other times, when I realize I am speaking to myself in my NM's nasty, belittling voice, I kind of privately think Get out NM! and envision her flying out of my body exorcism-style. This probably sounds a little schizo. But visualizations can be powerful.
Here's hoping everyone's burden gets a little lighter every day.
Will be thankful this Thanksgiving for everyone on this board,
Kay x
BonesMS:
--- Quote from: Hopalong on November 21, 2011, 11:07:09 PM ---((((((Bones))))))))
Your birth was not a mistake.
Your birth was as beautiful an event as any birth ever was, in the whole world, and always will be.
It's her motherhood that was ugly. Not you.
And even though the two truths seem contradictory, it is the way of it in nature sometimes.
Some terrible thing or terrible power will be, like a volcano, and the lava that flows from it is beautiful...
Your imagination is beautiful, your mind and heart are beautiful, your life is beautiful.
She was the way nature made her...
Nature doesn't really make mistakes, but it does make cruelties.
You love yourself, Bones. Holidays and all.
Just keep on talking nice to yourself...no more cruelty.
You don't deserve it (and never did).
xo
Hops
--- End quote ---
Thanks, (((((((((Hops))))))))).
It's hard to turn off the flashbacks, especially when they wake me up from a sound sleep.
Bones
BonesMS:
--- Quote from: KayZee on November 22, 2011, 12:23:55 AM ---I agree, sweet Bones.
Your NM was the mistake. And, even more importantly, she was mistaken. In action and perception, thought and deed.
You did not deserve the way she treated you. Her ill-treatment was not a reflection of you. She was incapable of seeing you for the person you are. And she missed out. Because you're wonderful, thoughtful, smart, funny. Whatever she thought she saw in you was just a projection of the qualities she despised in herself.
We're here now, regardless of our NParents intentions. And even if we were "planned," our NMs certainly didn't plan on us having our own desires, needs, feelings, perceptions! (How inconvenient for them! :D) Our lives our ours. Our feelings are valid. And we control our destinies.
I think AA's one-day-at-a-time slogan applies to DONM recovery too. Sometimes, I think, I'll just focus on being kind and patient with myself today. Or the rest of the day. Or for the next few hours. In tough times, it's sometimes easier to set short-term goals than it is to think in big terms like "my life," "the rest of my life," etc.
Other times, when I realize I am speaking to myself in my NM's nasty, belittling voice, I kind of privately think Get out NM! and envision her flying out of my body exorcism-style. This probably sounds a little schizo. But visualizations can be powerful.
Here's hoping everyone's burden gets a little lighter every day.
Will be thankful this Thanksgiving for everyone on this board,
Kay x
--- End quote ---
Thanks, ((((((KayZee))))).
At times like these, I wish there were 3-D therapists around here who UNDERSTAND the issues that DONM struggle with every day.
Bones
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