Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: axa on July 25, 2007, 05:14:33 PM
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Prompeted to start this thread after reading CB's post about XN rejecting his own offer. So come on looking forward to a long list
Axa
I have so many I have to think about which to enter into the competition!
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Hi Axa,
Great topic!
Let's see: "I don't want to be called "Grandma." If you don't SAY it, it can't be POSSIBLE"
This by my NMother after my first child was born. She's STILL one of vainest people I know.
Stay tuned! I'm sure I'll be back with more. :lol:
Love,
Bigalspal
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"I never did anything but try to be a good husband to that woman."
... to the judge in our divorce case, after threatening me with a knife, taking my car, breaking a door in my home, constantly lying through his teeth, stalking me repeatedly, etc, etc, etc.
I know it's not dramatic, but still the most ridiculous nonetheless, when taken in context... lol. :P
Thanks, Axa :)
Love,
Hope
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"Oh, it's for the best...she had a drug problem, you know."
About the death of a 22-y/o h.s. friend of mine, daughter of one of NMom's closest friends, by drowning, leaving her husband and 2 young children behind.
Hops
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Referring to my years of struggling under my H's porn addiction, my mil said, "And he still loves you after all you have put him through. Can you believe that?"
--mof4
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eeek... Hops, that sounds like something my mother would think, but not say aloud. Awful.
Mof4, I haven't even begun to consider the N-factor involved in the in-laws from my 15-year marriage to the father of my children
(the one before NPD-ex)
but - when her son was convicted for the second time of criminal sexual conduct, she said to me, "Why don't you just leave him so that he can have a life!"
Bizarre.
Love,
Hope
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CH,
OH MY GOSH! I am laughing out loud. ARE YOU SERIOUS? Twisted, aren't they?
Your ex's statement was beautful as well. Nice spin!
We need to put these statements in the N hall of fame!
--mof4
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OMG - beese - my mother did the same thing - insisted on being called mother. My father insisted the kids call him Grandfather!!
One that jumps out: My father said to me once - you kids have really disappointed me at one point or another - you are just going to have to learn to live with that disappointment (like that was the sum total of our childhoods - his disappointment that we actually made mistakes and weren't perfect reflections of his glorious self :roll:). My response - I am not disappointed in me - it is your dissapointment - you have learn to live with it, not me. It was really comical, he got the most confused look on his face, he just couldn't compute it. He really believed that I was an extension of him (I had no identity of my own unless I did something wrong or disagreed with him - then I became my own worthless person in his eyes!!!). It was so bad he accidentally called my kids his kids a number of times. :shock:
He also used to call my kids: MY grandchildren - it wasn't the words it was how he said it, like he owned them. Still makes my skin crawl.
My mother: It was so hard for ME to stand by and watch your father break you (no mention that it might have been hard on me at 2, to have been slapped silly by my 6'3' 270 lb father for not going to sleep). :shock:
Or the time my mother told everyone that I got pregnant after my sister had her first baby because as soon as I saw her baby I had to have one of my own :roll: (used to drive me crazy - she told everyone this. Made me sound like an imbecile - like I would decide to have a baby because my sister had one. I repeatedly asked her to stop saying that - and she kept saying, well it is true! aaaaaarrrrrrgggggghhhhh
The things they say that give their true nature away!! :roll:
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Gee, I'm not sure I can pick.
Well, there was the time when I was meeting a girlfriend for a vacation my mother said, "I had to get more medicine because of you. I'll probably be dead when you get back."
The most recent one that stands out is, "You think more of that dog than you do your kid." Because my son had gotten too "distant" with her after living away for a few weeks.
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Father, raging! "What did I ever do to have 5 lazy little bastards like I have?"
(Well, Dad you had intercourse with our mother?)
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Here's another one:
To a neighbor lady who's kids were playing very noisily in THEIR OWN yard.
Mom marches over there & says to her: " keep those brats quiet!"
Neighbor lady to mom:
"Lady, I'm doing the best I can." "I'm all alone." "My husband is fighting in Iraq!"
Mom to Neighbor Lady:
"Well, BOO HOO!!"
This story was told to me by HER. She was PROUD of it.
I know, I know, heartlless Biotch!
Love,
Bigalspal
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Well here goes......... I always new something wasn't right in my home , besides my m being a N and it just came over me that OH MY GOD IM ADOPTED. SO right after I gave birth to my daughter I asked my M if I was , she lied right to my face , asked my Dad he told me the truth and that he was relieved but my mother swore him and the family to secrecy. so I again ask my Mother and she said "I didn't want you to know until after I was dead" and went on and on about herself... and stormed off...............Hello did you even ask if I was OK with this news, nope ALL ABOUT HER and her shit and was angry at me , made me feel ashamed.
I have one more...
My exNboyfriend who you know I pressed charges against last Aug, told the police officer's who responded ..."Well she should have stayed down" (Meaning if I hadn't fought back and gotten up he wouldn't have pushed me back down.... Could ya just imagine... that one makes me laugh now...thank God i can laugh at all this now...
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Thought of another roll your eye moment -
We were at a seminar with about 30 other people - and in the middle of an introduction about who they were and what the seminar was about, the instructor stopped talking, looked at me, and stated that I was beautiful.
My father stood up and said thank you. [on edit - forgot to mention no one knew he was my father - we were not sitting together]
Now, I can understand thanking someone if your child is 4 and they are complimented on their looks, but when your child is in their 20's?
He just had to be the center of attention. :roll:
It was so bizarre on a number of levels - pointing out that they think someone is beautiful in a seminar that has nothing to do with beauty (really weird and made me really uncomfortable), and my father trying to direct all the attention back to him. The whole thing was out of the twilight zone!
Of course many years later, 2 babies, an extra 30+ lbs, and the oh-so lovely (or not so lovely) effects of gravity - no one will be complimenting me on my looks in a seminar. :D
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My mom says to me "I resent the fact that you have elevated S above where I want her to be!" I found a memo we sent to the staff 18 months ago which stated we were promoting S to Assistant Manager. She said she had forgotten the memo and she didnt really mean it.
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We are all afraid of flying in my family. As I was flying back to college and walking toward the plane. I said "Do you want me to call you when I get there?," She said," No, I'll hear if the plane crashes". Love Ami
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My ex left me for another woman and told me he was not attracted to me at all. He then told me he had had affairs with 25 other women, an affair with a man, masturbated in front of his mistress' 2 year old daughter and got on a sex abuse registry. When I told my mom I was filing for divorce she told me I could not divorce him because we hate the sin but love the sinner-translation-what would people think if my daughter got a divorce?
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This is probably not going to win any prize but one that really grinds me is: "What are you getting so anal about? I didn't know there was a problem."
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Just read this
1st Driver. New expensive car driving enjoying his new car.
2nd driver coming out of cross road slams into driver 1 on passenger side door.
Driver 2 who hits driver 1 car gets out screaming WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU DIDN'T YOU SEE ME RUNNING THAT STOP SIGN??
Get back in to get his license and takes off.
Call X, hon gotta go to the hospital my contractions are very close. On golf course, Ok you think you can wait an hour or two almost done.
Dying in pain in labor. X tells me my hair looks really nice and blonde under the lights in the hospital that he did a good job on it as he is flipping his fingers through it to see if he got all the roots. (helped me hi light it).
Valentines Day X comes in all excited with a brown paper bag HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! and gives me a box of Girl Scout Cookies.
Deb
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Oh wait I have another one.
I was thinking that we should get some really nice new rims and tires for the car instead of an engagement ring.
You know I really should have went for the rims and tires since in the end I kept THE CAR and Tossed the ring.
Deb
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From Father " I buried one child, and I can bury another!" (Both children still living)
From Mother " How can I explain to the neighbors that I have a daughter?"
From Brother to disabled sister " Is that the fastest you can walk?"
From Husband " Can I just stay here and sign something giving you credit for my rrom and board in the divorce settlement?" And after he left-"You haven't paid my credit card bills!!???!!"
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When the relationship with my NMum was almost at NC point, she wanted me to choose between my husband and her. She said 'I just hope that I die before he does. I just wouldn't know how to console you.'
Console?? Her?? :shock:
Once, I was due to have a plasterer in the house for a few days, while I was on leave but my NBoyfriend was at work. When I said I was wary of being in the house with a stranger, and would he take leave, he said 'But who'd want to rape you?'
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The comments posted so far make my jaw drop. Such callousness! So N!
Janet
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Having put drugs in my bag so I carried them through customes unwittingly
"well I knew they would never stop you, you don't look the type to smuggle drugs" If I had been caught I would never have worked again because of my line of work.
"You love her (his D14) more than you love me"
"She is 16 now (D) she is to old for me" - read I cannot control her as I used to.
"I do not want to be around people who get drunk and dance on tables in bars" = meaning my friends. Wish they had asked me to that party, my friends would have nothing to do with him.
" My D and her mother have a normal mother daughter relationship" - Mother abandoned D aged 8 and returned ten years later as if nothing had happened!!!!
"As long as you and D are happy I will be happy but I do not want neighbours calling to this house nor do I want to know what you want"
"Xwife is easy to keep she does not eat very much and never goes out"
I could go on and on but my favourite has to be
"I will never leave you, but I will ride you into the ground like a beach donkey and you know I have never been so close to anyone as I am to you. I love you, you are my girl"
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THANK GOD I AM NOT ON N'S PLANET ANY LONGER.
Oh, nearly forgot this one
"It is not me doing the bad things, it is an evil spirit who has possessed me because you know I would not hurt you.
axa
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When I was trying to get my NMUm to see that I had just a smidgin of kindness in me, despite her repeating over and over that I was wicked, she said 'You've never done anything for anybody, ever'
'Well,' I said,' what about when Ann (my friend who had multiple sclerosis) fell over in her house, and phoned me to help her, so I drove there, broke in through her patio doors to get to her, then got her an ambulance?'
'Oh,' she said, 'That doesn't count.'
Janet
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Beach donkey :shock:
Doesn't count :shock:
all-a these :shock:
I believe we could've carried 9/11 victims down 40 flights of stairs on our shoulders and an N such as these would've said,
and let me tell you about the time I-I-I-I saved a turtle that was crossing the road.
Hops
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I believe we could've carried 9/11 victims down 40 flights of stairs on our shoulders and an N such as these would've said,
and let me tell you about the time I-I-I-I saved a turtle that was crossing the road.
Hops
LOL ! Indeed!! :lol:
Thanks, Hops... I needed that!
Love,
Hope
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AXA!!!
BEACH DONKEY!!!! WHAT A RIOT!!!! FIRST BELLY LAUGH OF THE DAY!!!
Hugs,
Changing
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My N-mom and her list of ridiculous/obnoxious statements to me:
After I had a miscarriage (a little girl): "So? What's the big deal? I had two [m/c] you know" and "You don't want a daughter. They are nothing but trouble. I should know." WTF kind of thing is that to say you your own daughter????!!!!
After the birth of my son & I (foolishly) confess to my mom that I had prayed for God to return the daughter I had lost the year before: "What? You don't want him? I'll take him. I'm calling social services and telling them you don't want your baby. What kind of a mother are you? You don't deserve children."
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"It's GOD and then your MOTHER".....then she got a surprised look on her face when I asked where my husband fit in
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Catherine,
Your mother is appalling to say that to you. I'm so sorry.
They're on another planet, aren't they?
Janet
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OK let me think....
Me: But I've tried so hard to make you proud... Look I trained to be a psychiatric nurse...
Nmum: Psychiatric nurses are the lowest of the low...
Me: Why do you say that...
Nmum: Everybody knows that if they have read a catherine cookson book.. And besides schizophrenia is associated with demons... It's clear you would be happy close to that.
And another time (I have soooo many)....
N mum: Are you going out dressed like that
Me (wearing shorts and a T shirt): yes why it's blazing hot
Nmum: Because you look flat chested. go and put a wonderbra on immediately
Me: I am flat chested and quite happy abpout it
Nmum: Yes but I am not and I WILL NOT have people thinking I have a flat chested daughter..
God forgive me for being a flat chested psych nurse....
Spy x
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Oh ((((((Spy)))))) ((((((Catherine)))))) (((((Everyone who's mother/father was cruel)))))
Janet said it! Not only is what these animals have said to you beautiful, valuable, worthy and wonderful daughters appalling, but it's all
LIES!
Even the flat chested crap! It's a lie because it indicates a lack of beauty, Spy, and you're mother is a liar and as blind as a bat!!!
:x :x :x :x
All these nasty egg/sperm donors make me sooooooo angry!! They don't even deserve to be called parents!!!!
To say the things they have said to small children, teens, young adults and their God given gorgeous adult children is surely a great humungus sin!! For the hurt it injects!!!
I'm so sorry you all had to hear so much of that BS!! It's not true!!!
I hope their tongues rot out!!!
Sela
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Wowzers, hear, hear Sela!
And welcome Catherine. I don't know how children's hearts survive being stabbed with such cruel words. Even adult children. But here you are....resourceful enough to find a forum where we GET it. Welcome!
Spy, oh my.
"I will not have anyone thinking I have a flat-chested daughter" really sounds as though it could be made into a plaque--IF it's gotten laughable to you. It's so ABSURDLY, cluelessly selfish it makes me laugh (not at you, at her). I mean, it's crazy. Such a puffed-up sense of self...priceless. Awful.
(I have a sick sense of humor so I probably WOULD post it somewhere.)
Personally, I think whatever chest we got is just fine, whatever it is. :) (Lord, I hate contemporary culture sometimes.)
hugs
Hops
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Thought of another one :roll:
In that snide, cold, condescending voice with the chewing wasps look on her face, my mother used to say to me all the time: “I hope you have twins just like you, then you will know what I have had to put up with – double. Then you will really know how difficult you are.”
My response – “I hope I do too. I would love to have kids like me, I, at least, would know how to handle them – with love and kindness.”
Needless to say, it did not go over well. I was accused of being “mouthy” probably helped to get me that lovely label of “difficult.”
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"One of these days you are going to say the wrong thing to the wrong person...its your big mouth that gets you in trouble. Learn to keep your mouth shut. No one wants to hear you talk or anything you have to say. You have diarrhea of the mouth." This is one statement among millions-so hard to choose just one...but I am to this day a talker-I talk and talk and talk-I never did learn. I do curb my talking (for her) so she is happy with me-we only talk on the phone and I see her in person once or twice a year. I am in a critical place in my healing and reading this board is helping so much. As I read more and more on this board I have realized I have been living with a feeling of DOOM. I have been away from my mother for years but all that she said and did to me is still with me and I desire to be free! Someone here put "the me I was meant to be"! It is something else to know there are others who have experienced the same things! WoW. Gimmie more, gimmie more!
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You got it, ((((Dawn))).
How much of your precious ear-time does this "woman" deserve, anyway?
Hops