Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: lighter on August 03, 2007, 09:11:49 AM
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Let us know how you're doing....
::sending healing vibes your way::
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Thinking of you over here, too, Changing... I hope and pray that your recovery is going smoothly and you'll be able to return here soon!
Love,
Hope
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She's having surgery, is she not?
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She's having surgery, is she not?
Yes... I think her surgery was last Friday, Izzy.
She wasn't sure how long she'd be away... but it does seem like she may check in soon.. I hope.
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Hello Lighter, Certain Hope, Izzy!
Thank you for inquiring about me. Everything is fine now! Thank you for bearing with my whining,fears , etc. about facing these things alone. I think that actually I am less alone now that NH is gone. Not only was I not getting any real help (except a ride occasionally) , but the criticism and burdens took away whatever resources I had to take care of myself. I was constantly dodging the cursing, threats, etc, and could not keep up with his demands. I no longer feel desperate, lonely, like a failure. Even after the surgery was easier; I was not suppposed to get up except to go to the ladies room or eat for a few days. Not having to take care of NH let me rest more, and heal better (he turned off the one thing in his name, the cable TV, so I just slept, etc. I still haven't had the service reconnected- anyway it saves money)
I haven't seen or heard from NH for a couple of weeks and I am so much happier, my life is easier and more joyful, even with all of the health and other issues. Now that I am removed from the whole thing, it seems pretty clear that NH was (is) seeing someone- he did that to his first wife as well. I am going to physical therapy in a few minutes- with NH there was always something disruptive that kept me from going. I can never let myself get so entangled again! You guys really helped me get "unstuck" and change my patterns- I never really did it before in a healthy way!
Thank you so much! I have really benefited so much from your smart advice and support!
Much Love,
Changing
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So glad you're doing OK.
Not having to be around the N is very healing..... it's like decompressing...
or....
something. :shock:
They're cowards and cheats..... so cheating and being cowards is what they do.
No surprises there, eh?
Just be glad he's gone and not bothering you.
Sounds like you already are: )
Enjoy PT and let us know how your self care regime is looking.
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Dear Changing,
So wonder-full you are !
No more tripping over N-stumbling blocks and delays... just freedom to get better, to heal and to keep moving on!
(((((((Changing))))))
So glad you're back :)
Love,
Hope
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Hey Changing,
Glad to hear you are moving along. Amazing isn't it when they are not right there *In your face* how much more you can heal and be happy.
Thinking of you. Keep in touch!
Love
Deb
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Dear Changing,
Change the locks!
(So glad you're recovering well...keep that up...)
xo
Hops
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Hi Lighter, Hope, Debkor and Hoppy!
I have the best physical therapy- there is a pool, underwater treadmill, etc- I was healed enough to go back into the water today! My health non-working NH would play softball at least 5 times a week, but I hardly got to my therapy when he was here. Ridiculous! What was I thinking! In fact, I finally cracked and had enough one day when I had washed his many baseball uniforms, and asked him to not bring the items into the living room, etc so I could just take off to therapy and handle it later. He agreed, then did exactly what he promised not to do, told me to F off, that he just agreed to things to shut me up! DUH-UH! I finally saw the pattern of lies and cruelty in a more realistic light ( I guess you've seen by now that I'm not always the brightest bulb in the chandelier).He had been there (well he had his own place and didn't help me but he went to the hospital for the longest surgery) when I had many hours of surgeries, bone grafts, lived in my dining room, and couldn't walk, drive, get into a wheelchair, etc. He acted like I didn't do enough for him! Now I am doing things for myself, AND IT ROCKS! The physical therapy is a miracle, and I realized that he didn't care what was good for me, as well...He still doesn't get it! The support I got on this board really gave me a new perspective and inspiration.
I was hurt, but ANGRY! No more placating that man!I realized that I would never get to do what I needed, could never keep up with his messes, etc. , never be able to balance our budget, never go out, always be afraid of how he would sabotage me when I was out of the house as long as he remained here... And the lies, lies, lies!No wonder he was contemptuous of me! I was a silly wuss! I LOVE THE PEACE AND THE LOVELY SLEEP AND MY THERAPY AND NOT HAVING TO CLEAN UP AFTER AN NH AND EATING THE FOOD THAT I LIKE AND NEVER BEING CURSED OR THREATENED AND NOT HAVING TO HIDE ALL OF MY IMPORTANT PAPERS!
I changed my own locks! They are not perfect, I have to remove them and do some things over again, but they work and NH doesn't have a key! I feel so grand! And the gate is kept locked at all times!!!! HEAVENLY!!!!
Thank you for giving me vision and getting me through the first part ( I couldn't do it before!)
Changing
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Oh, Changing...
You give me duckbumps :D
Wow, you are amazing!!
I am gonna think of your post here and smile.... and smile again... and might have to do a happy Snoopy dance, too!
Totally awesome, Dudette :D
Big hugs and congratulations with Love,
Hope
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amazing and wonderful and inspiring CHANGING!
:D :D :D
(A grown man doesn't know how to run a washing machine?)
Never
ever
again
xo
Hops
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::JOINING HOPE IN THE SNOOPY DANCE!!!::
La La La La LA la.... La La La La LA la!
Heh.... my dance is cuter than yours, lol.
Changing.... so so happy to read your post!
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::JOINING HOPE IN THE SNOOPY DANCE!!!::
La La La La LA la.... La La La La LA la!
Heh.... my dance is cuter than yours, lol.
Changing.... so so happy to read your post!
LOL... no way - my ears do that certain speshul floopdeedoo whilst twirling!
Hugs to you, Lighter
Love,
Hope
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Dear Changing,
You sound so centeredand at peace. Can you tell me some of the things that you did (inside you) to get there? Love to You Ami
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::JOINING HOPE IN THE SNOOPY DANCE!!!::
La La La La LA la.... La La La La LA la!
Heh.... my dance is cuter than yours, lol.
Changing.... so so happy to read your post!
LOL... no way - my ears do that certain speshul floopdeedoo whilst twirling!
Hugs to you, Lighter
Love,
Hope
You're right! THEY DO, lol!
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Lighter, Certain Hope, Izzy, Debkor, Em, Hops, Ami-
Thank you for your kindness and for sharing your enlightenment! I have always compromised myself, but your support has lifted me up to a new vantage point to see a bigger picture!
Even when I get shaky, I am starting to see that it will get better again- I won't get punished for taking care of myself! And Yes my NH never once did the laundry- I saw him at the store one day and he actually asked me to teach him ( he never went to the store ,either, before he left). Even if I crash and burn, at least I will have tried to do what I wanted to before I die !!!!
Thank you, you are wonderful!
Changing
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Dear Changing,
My own efforts to work through some of the leftovers from past rubbish tend to leave me feeling naked and ill-equipped for forward movement. In the midst of all this stripping away of all the many cloaks and devices of what I am not, your voice here is an inspiration and a challenge... to imagine a future that's more than merely coping... to dream... and to dream big! :) Thank you... for sharing your vision in such a kind, gentle way with all of us.
With love,
Hope