Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: WRITE on August 07, 2007, 09:20:55 PM
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this is probably the last bit of my 'healing puzzle' and maybe in some ways the most difficult to write about and access.
My body has aged so much and ravaged somewhat with the years of drinking, not eating properly, the weight gain and weight loss.
I'm not quite sure where to start working on it and I'll talk to my therapist later this week, but what is other people's relationship with their body?
I feel somewhat like it isn't mine at all sometimes, I spot myself in the mirror and think 'who is that'.
I've been working out and I feel well, just not the same as I used to feel about it last time I was happy, oh about a million years ago!
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When the body goes bad -- that's what they invented clothes for Love Ami
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This is a major issue with me. In my mind I am a tall young thing but also in my mind I consider myself fat and ugly. That is one reason for the Lap Band. I need to get this weight under control.
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that's funny Ami, someone else said i need to try nudism, and get rid of the body-facism for once and all!
I do love clothes, and I have quite an eye for a bargain too.
My work means I can buy sparkly and outrageous stuff sometimes too, and play dress-up, which is fun.
I went to a belly-dancing place with friends a few weeks ago, this really beautiful girl was rude to me, she looked so ugly and inhuman in that moment.
The belly dancers seemed so at ease with their bodies which weren't like the thin young girls, but very muscular and curvy. I'd love to look like that.
I looked in Louise Hay, she says overweight is tryign to protect yourself and fat belly is being angry for not having been nourished.
I was undernourished as a young child, my mother had this compulsion thing about controlling what everyone ate and about buying as little food as possible. My friend had a mother who was the opposite and I loved it there, always spare food and pies and cakes and stuff.
Occasionally my mother would have a fit of cooking and it made us all deliriously happy, but usually it was a weird response to someone, like the time she argued with the neighbours and refused to let us go to the jubilee street party, so we had our own, with piles of food but the atmosphere was unhappy because our mother was so angry with the neighbours who hadn't consulted her about some aspect of the arrangements. She argued with everyone, I think that's why I hate arguing to this day.
I saw Lap Band being advertised, will it cost a lot of money?
Louise Hay says I should be saying positive affirmations and loving myself anyway and then I'll make peace with my body and it will be what I want it to.
Actually though I don't think it can be, because I've not considered it for 25 years-I think now I am looking for my young self, and that's gone :(
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I just loved the Bubbies from Witches of Eastwick. Loved the book too.
In fact, I wish everyone would run around the beach naked...... esp the round wonderfully full bodied peopel who look comfortable in their skin. I don't think everyone was born to be stick thin..... one of my dd's was born to be wonderfully round. I adore her curves and her spirit.
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Izzy also can say : You should be saying positive affirmations and loving yourself anyway and then you'll make peace with your body and it will be what you want it to. (be)
Does it matter who says it?
(Never mind me--I don't care for Louise Hay.)
and
Granted we all look better dressed than undressed after a certain age, but it isn't the answer you want, right WRITE?
I don't kinow your 'diet' but I love food. However one time in my life I was totally against certain foods (illish)....grease/butter,meat, whatever.
What I ate was coffee w/milk and sugar---caesar salad for lunch and I had all kinds of fresh veggies on hand and chomped all day on mushrooms, cauliflower, broccolli, NATCHOS (no dip) zuccihini, Lipton's cup o' soup Spring vegetable and in about 6 months, or less, I had really dropped off the pounds. It was not my intention. I was just depressed and couldn't abide certain foods.
Belly fat, I read, comes from stress.
I was once, at 5'10", 130# ( an ironing board with 2 peas glued on it.) I will never have a 24" waist again and that happens with childbirth, I expect.
My height gives me up to 150# and still be in the healthy but not overweight range. I am in that range but not happy about it, but am grateful that after sitting for 38 years, I don't weigh 1000#. My arms must lift my weight so I must keep it down----but I cannot stand on scales, so have no idea what I weigh. So I sit and all my upper body weight can't get to my legs, so they are slim and no one sees my ass when I sit all the time.
Metabolism has much to do with one's weight. I've always had good metabolism.
From all the people I have talked with, losding weight is a 'personal' thing, i.e one must find what will work the best.
Love & Luck
Izzy
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Hi!
I was very athletic prior to my accident-now I am a Frankenstein with grafts,plates,canes,etc and I am the prettiest Frankenstein I know! At first I was ashamed,couldn't fit into my clothes,couldn't wear my good shoes,etc- My NH made a point of telling me how old and hideous I am but GUESS WHAT!!!! I feel great now, and pretty now that that jackal is gone! Getting some lovely exercise ( do something that feels good, don't punish yourself) lots of water and herbal tea really tones up the skin. Moisturize your face and body, get your hair shiny, eat fish and vegetables, sleep. Whatever you are, be the prettiest one you can be! Oh yes, and stay away from jackals!
Love,
Changing
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Thanks for posting this write; I can definately relate. My mother hates my body, and its like this annoying script running in my head that I'm always trying to shut off.
Someone who helped me a while back with this, was a co-d therapist who made me really see that our attraction to people has much more to do with emotional dynamics than our appearances. For some reason, learning about that for the first time helped me to put things into perspective and to stop shaking with fear at every pound gained, and every imperfection on my body.
I was seeing that therapist because I was 21 and I was having troubles with a boyfriend. Because things were going wrong, I was really down about my looks and felt pretty worthless (even though I was I only 21 and looked beautiful) . The therapist made me realise that my looks had nothing to do with it. The problem was that I had chosen a man who craved intimacy and yet was terrified of it at the same time. The therapist made me see that it wouldn't have mattered what I looked like; he would have behaved that way anyway, because of who I was and because of who he was.
For some reason, I have been a lot more relaxed about the way I look after that. But man, i'd love to look like Angelina Jolie. I just don't think it would improve my life in any way, and then I'd have to spend 4 hours in the gym each day tryng to stay so thin. No thanks, lol.
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Write,
It seems that every part of my body has changed in some way from when I was young. And it seems that every scar, gray hair, fleck or blemish is somehow related to LIVING, enduring, transforming, birthing. And so every part of me, including the stretch marks and all I cherish. Each thing reminds me of joy, or hardship, but everything reminds of growth, stretching, LIVING.
The closer the "camera" gets to your body, the uglier that piece of your body probably looks. But as you pan out, and see the whole picture, the more beautiful, and put-together you are.
Dandylife
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Dear WRITE,
I want to give an honest answer. For me. I am a size 6. Clothes look good on me. I am 5' 6' and 115.
I feel good when I get dressed up.but it does very,very little for my inner sense of self.
I can feel like I "look good",but my heart,soul and physical stomach hurt b/c I do not own myself and my own power.
I am this thin simply b/c my emotional pain took the form of not letting me digest foods.I disowned my emotional gut and my physical gut disowned me.
My goal is to get my own power(gut,core) back.
I am happy that I look thin.. I enjoy wearing clothes. HOWEVER it in NO,NO,NO way heals the inside. It is as empty, empty, empty as ever. Love Ami
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Dear Write,
Just a thought about the "belly", mentioned in a message I heard yesterday.
In the Bible, references to the belly often refer to the innermost being of a person.
In the gospel of John, chapter 7, King James Version
37 In the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried, saying,
If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink.
38 He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.
39 (But this spake he of the Spirit, which they that believe on him should receive:
for the Holy Ghost was not yet given; because that Jesus was not yet glorified.)
Wonderful picture there... rivers of living water, the Holy Spirit, flowing from the innermost being of the one indwelt by Christ.
As I grow older, I often get glimpses of my own vanity in the startling discovery of new flaps and folds :)
I've been the same size for 25 years, apart from 4 pregnancies and my several year lapse into frequent drinking, which added 15#.
I used to take no small measure of pride in that consistency, but I know it's nothing I've done, simply genetic.
Like Izzy said, " an ironing board with 2 peas glued on it " :)
Now, with various parts flapping and folding, that pride suffers a regular reality shock, but I'm determined to take those little hurts as an opportunity to focus on what's flowing out of the belly, not what it looks like on the exterior.
It's a struggle, heavy or thin, well-toned or not, if what's inside is dammed up or corrupted.
Anyhow, I don't need to gain or lose, but I do need to eat more balanced meals and more regularly, and to keep moving, so as not to stiffen up.
And I need to ensure that I'm taking in the proper spiritual diet, so that the river keeps a'flowing.
Love,
Hope
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Ami.... did you get beaten up on the playground, a lot, when you were a child, lol?
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Dear Lighter,
I don't get it?
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Write:
I notice that when I'm in touch with my body.... I'm doing better emotionally.... it's sort of one little gage I can check.
When I haven't got a clue as to what's going on with my body..... it's time to pull back and observe my self care ritual.
I wonder if I'll forever be pulling back and starting again.... or if it'll just become me?
Self care and being in touch with myself, spiritual, physical and emotional.
It sounds like you need to do something physical that nurtures you in all ways.
Got any ideas?
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I feel better now than when I had anorexia (bleedin' obvious, that one :shock: )
I still have trouble with issues of 'femininity'.
I weigh 8 stone, 5 foot 4 tall. However slim I get, I've still got a little 'belly' that won't shift, which I hate with all my being!!!
My hair went grey very quickly, four years ago, so I colour it now, and that makes me feel a lot better, because people in shops have stopped asking me if I've got my 'Discount Card' (i.e. they realise now I'm not a pensioner!)
I tackle my body image issues by making all my own clothes, now. So much of what is in the shops is badly made, badly fitting, nothing made properly for people under 5 feet eleventy-ten (tall, anyway). So, if I make things that suit my body shape, in fabrics that I like, I know I look better, so I feel better.
Janet
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I love this board.....I have NO idea what 8 stone means.....you must be from the UK!!!
All I know is when I was a little girl my mother called me "fat fat." She just does not know how she affected me. When I was in 9th grade I got my weight under control, became a cheerleader, etc. I was never FAT when I was young but a bit thick. In high school I was a twig.
I went up to 170 pounds and stayed there a long while. My ideal weight would have been 150. After kids it inched up and finally when I was 38 and hormonal it has progressively gotten worse. Now I weigh in at 247......5' 10" tall......Lap BAnd in 19 days......
My cousin had it done and lost 135 pounds. It cost him $17,000. My insurance would have paid for it if I was a BMI of 40 or more - or a BMI of 35 with heart condition, diabetes, hypertension. I have a BMI of 35 with hypertension but I have only had it a few months - you have to treat it for a couple years to get it insured. Anyway, it cost me $15,500. But if I can lose 80 or 90 pounds I will be so much more healthy and feel so much better and hopefully my body image will improve!!!
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OC,
8 stone means 112 lbs.
Yes, I'm from the UK!
Janet
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Write,
I hate myself. I don't even have a part on my body I like. I hate my feet, my ankles, my calves, mt thighs, my huge ass, my gut, my stretchmarks, my breasts, my aged chest (sunspots), my upper arms, my lower arms, my hands, my neck, my back, my face. I am trying to get in shape and seeing no difference and wishing for the days when I looked good and didn't believe it so I could believe it this time.
I don't know what to do.
Love, Beth
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Beth,
I'm sorry you feel so bad. This struck a chord with me:
"wishing for the days when I looked good and didn't believe it so I could believe it this time."
I feel a lot of bitterness towards my NMum for making me feel I was ugly (because she said I was WHEN I WASN'T - trouble is, now I realise that, I'm not exactly 'past it' but definitely past my best years. And to think she did that on purpose, because she felt threatened by my youth. What mother is THAT jealous?
Oh, an N one, I forgot. :shock:
Janet
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I wish everyone would run around the beach naked...... esp the round wonderfully full bodied peopel who look comfortable in their skin.
I think it might draw a few stares in uber-repressed Texas, but maybe not. Maybe it would be one of those movie moments where everyone would join me, racing around naked, whooping for joy at their new-found freedom. Until the police arrived to round everyone off- they have little beach 4 X 4 s in Texas to facilitate making people tip away their Budweiser, even the most sedate middle-aged consumers, I kid you not :lol:
From all the people I have talked with, losding weight is a 'personal' thing, i.e one must find what will work the best.
I think you're right Izzy, and there's certainly no shortage of stuff to try, though I will opt with common-sense healthy only!
And I don't exactly like Louise Hay either, though her books are works of art: she's a bit, well, 'daft' sometimes.... :oops:
I enjoy wearing clothes. HOWEVER it in NO,NO,NO way heals the inside. It is as empty, empty, empty as ever.
wow Ami, sorry you feel so empty.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((( ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I don't feel empty ever now for long. You'll get there, I know you will.
Wonderful picture there... rivers of living water, the Holy Spirit, flowing from the innermost being of the one indwelt by Christ.
I feel very much like I stepped into the lifeflow some time ago, and though everything has been stripped away from me and there were times I wondered what would be left if anything, I think this is my spiritual self and you are right.
I wonder who wrote John's gospel, well all the gospels really. Their religious experiences must have been profound.
And yet Jesus said they would mislead us, and they have and they do.
One of the nice things about not being at church by the way is not feeling forced into communal eating all the time; so often I have felt pressured to eat food there, when it was the last thing I needed from them!
I guess our bodies present our inner selves in some ways though, a woman at my last church told us she had been to a talk on stillbirth, because although she lost her last child decades ago, back then it wasn't seen as a loss and she never grieved. She always looked stooped and had a pronounced belly like she was pregnant. I sent her my poem when I miscarried when I was young, which was about the fact there was nowhere to put your loss feelings, and she went back again and talked to the facilitator. Last time I saw her her sticking-out stomach was gone, and she said she hadn't lost weight, in answer to my query.
I tackle my body image issues by making all my own clothes, now. So much of what is in the shops is badly made, badly fitting, nothing made properly for people under 5 feet eleventy-ten (tall, anyway). So, if I make things that suit my body shape, in fabrics that I like, I know I look better, so I feel better.
wow Janet. That's what I need. Nothing fits me quite right, not bras, pants, nothing.
I wonder if I could learn to make clothes?
And how to start?!
Lap BAnd in 19 days......
wow Kelly, good luck. Are you nervous?
I hate myself.....I don't know what to do.
Love, Beth
well I think it takes time to change actually body shape, but you could start with some of my self-care regime, such as I always take care of my feet now, wheen I can't afford a pedicure I trim them myself but every day at bed I put on 'Flexitol Heel Balm' and socks and for the first year ever i love that my heels aren't cracked and bleeding. And I discovered just this week a new product by Johnson and Johnson who make the baby products 'Night Soothing Cream' with lavendar, I put it on all over at bed, it really does help you sleep but also my skin is lovely from all this attention! Other skin stuff I use is Clarins Extra-firming neck cream ( my only expensive product, it is about $90 a jar ) and Palmer's Cocoa Butter for stretch marks on my tummy. I walk and swim every day but I don't do much punitive exercise, in fact I try to relax and enjoy the whole experience. And I treat myself to fruit daily- sometimes just banana if it's the end of the month, but yesterday blueberries and strawberries, and often cut pineapple.
Right now I am enjoying reading novels again and watching movies and sometimes 'the comedy channel'. I've given myself a little book budget and buy from amazon. And I get aface mask or put some bath salts in a bowl and soak my feet. And though I'm back at the $5 haircutters ( she actually does a reasonable job if you keep an eye on her! ) and Clairol colour, i do take care of my hair.
When i found my budget running low last month with all the extra expenses I went through all my cupboards and my closets and pulled forward soem products I didn't know I had, purple nail polish was one, a lovely silk shirt which I can wear over a t-shirt but doesn't quite fasten was another, I got it in the sales for $5.
Actually i rarely pay much over $5 for my clothes, I have routes I go to my jobs and allow myself fifteen minutes in stores where they have quality clothes and good sales like Stein Mart and Ross Dress for Less.
All this probably sounds funny, but it's pretty new to me, I never cared or bothered much about any of this for years, now i realise it's all part of that great mystery called 'Loving Yourself'.
My Saturday Night Date nights with myself have helped keep it in focus and give me something to look forward to.
Oh and the first day of my period ( sorry Mud ) I allow myself whatever i want to eat- ice cream, potato chips, anything I like. One day a month of doign that won't hurt.
Love
~W
ps to think she did that on purpose, because she felt threatened by my youth. What mother is THAT jealous?
My mother was like this too, she must have hated having three daughters! G_d rest her soul.....
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On this thread, I feel like I am at a pajama party. WRITE, the "sorry Mud" thing was cute. Beth, I want to ask you a question. Did you always hate your body even when you were young? Did you ever feel like you "looked good?" If so, did it make your insides feel good or only outside?
WRITE,You don't feel empty anymore? That is wonderful. I have a little more sense of self ,lately.Ever since, I" saw "my mother for how she truly was.,I feel a"little " more whole.I see that I could NOT have helped her no MATTER what I did
For me, any form of nurturing is hard for me to give myself. I feel-- way down deep that I should NOT be nurturing myself. It can be eating,seeing beauty,music, keeping my house nice, keeping my pocketbook nice etc
This is the thing,right now, that I most want to change.
I CAN buy things like clothes,make-up etc b/c that was very important in my family. I can get things that "enhance" my outsides. Where I feel that I "cannot" nurture myself is with quiet things like appreciating beauty(the outdoors, music, good food,)
I am going to do a thread on it. I feel very stuck here and don't really understand how I got so bad.
In my heart, I don't know how I got to this point. In my head, I can see how I might have gotten this way. However,it is the same old thing again where knowing in the head does not help too much.
I realize that I might have been the 'golden child" in SOME ways.My M was very concerned about how I looked. Our only "special time" together was going shopping. I had nice clothes, make up etc.
My mother took pride in me ,in this area.I would feel 'loved" in this area if I ever felt loved at all.
Anyway, I really, really want to feel that it is O.K. (DOWN DEEP) to nurture myself. It is a really big block.
I know all the "pat" answers,but I need to unblock the root,I think. Love Ami
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Write,
The clothes-making thing is really important to me, so, now that you've shown the teensiest bit of interest...
I make EVERYTHING, bras & knickers included, except for coats, because I can't get the thick fabrics under the presser foot :D.
Apparently, 80% of women wear the wrong size bra. I used to wear 32C until I made my first one myself...then I discovered I'm 33F. No wonder they were always uncomfortable before.
I understand my body shape so much better, now, so I'm getting used to the fact that I've got a long torso, short legs, forward-thrusting shoulders, a waist that is an inch lower than most patterns, and a thin neck!
If you want to try making clothes, a brilliant site is www.patternreview.com . It has a vibrant forum, loads of reviews of machines, patterns, books, farbric shops (online & offline) worldwide. Fantastic site. For fabrics, www.emmaonesock.com is good but a bit pricey. www.fabric.com is cheaper. www.taunton.com publishes 'Threads' magazine, which is the only dressmaking magazine worth subscribing to (also has a good forum).
Hardly anything at all in the UK worth noting :( . Here, they've only got fancy dress or bridal fabrics, now. There's one good shop in Wimbledon, and one in Macclesfield, and that's it, IMO.
Janet
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I'm not sure how much I weigh in pounds or stone...I seem to shift between 60 kgs and 80 kgs, depending on whats going on in my life. I think what I'm enjoying about aging, is I've stopped panicing so much when I hit 80 kgs (I think its something like 177 pounds) . In my twenties I would fall apart, hide, and eventually do something deparate to lose the weight like smoke, and develop eating disorders.. These days, I know that eventually I'll drop my weight again, and its not a crime to put on a few kgs. My friends and partner will still love me, and it just means that noone except the arab men will stare at me on the streets. The only things i really hate about it is having to buy clothes that are in a larger size. Janet, I keep meanign t osew my own clothes; thank you for inspiring me!
I really love swimming, and for a while i lived close to a rock climbing spot and I adored climbing. If i can find a great sport that I love, I usually whittle down to a muscular 65 kgs. Right now theres nothing close, so I'm thinking of buying some home gym equipment and little tV to watch so I don't get bored. I think i will watch all those `girly' movies that make my partner gag, lol. I might even be bad and sneak a peak at desparate housewives, lol (is it just me, or do other people think that show is hilarious?)
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On this thread, I feel like I am at a pajama party.
:D
This was on the BBC today http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/6935768.stm
Goodness. Church Guy told me his wife had an eating disorder and it's really common amongst performers in the US because at college there's as much pressure on how you look as on what you sound like. He said he gave up his professional career because he couldn't keep up the image thing. I am so glad I grew up in the crazy UK where it's okay to look and think and speak what you like.
I suspect my friend who is clearly working up a drinking problem also has an eating disorder and the only thing which gives him away is his breath and teeth, which are not those of an image-conscious healthy person. I haven't had the courage to ask him about that yet though, he was defensive enough about the drinking.
People really are killing themselves to try to be something they are not....
I might have been the 'golden child" in SOME ways.My M was very concerned about how I looked. Our only "special time" together was going shopping. I had nice clothes, make up etc.
I think this is a common NPD theme, obsession with another's image.
Self-nurture is more than image though, it is a commitment to feeling fundamental wellbeing.
Do you have a therapist Ami? I found therapy the most useful thing ever.
I make EVERYTHING, bras & knickers included, except for coats, because I can't get the thick fabrics under the presser foot
wow Janet, I'd LOVE to be able to do that.
How long did it take you to learn?
Apparently, 80% of women wear the wrong size bra.
I can believe that, also that so many are made wrong, I try them on and one size is okay, another model same label of size is way off.
I'll check out your sites and maybe get some fabric and a machine.
Macclesfield sounds an unlikely fabric emporium. I used to live in Staffordshire.
When I was a kid there were tons of fabric stores, I loved them, the smell....it's one of the good things about living in these home-baked ( sometimes I say half-baked ) Southern states though that there are lots of craft and fabric stores still.
Oh I'd love to design and make my own clothes...I know what suits me and have so many ideas.
:| Wonder if I can do it???
I might even be bad and sneak a peak at desparate housewives, lol (is it just me, or do other people think that show is hilarious?)
I haven't seen it but I have developed a love for girly comedies. I saw a great movie recently I picked up cheap whilst son was messing around in Gamestop, it's called School of Seduction and is very funny and a bit inspiring too.
Exercise should be fun!!!
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This thread is funny.
Bella,Do you want to have an addiction that will not put weight on--- watch The Sopranos' on DVD.
. Write me and tell me if you do
About Bras (Sorry Mud)- Maria dies laughing b/c all I want is a huge bra that I don't "feel". It doesn't fit at all,but ,I don't care.
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haha..yes this is just like a pajama party, Ami! I miss those days of sleeping over with a bunch of girls!
Ami thanks for reminding me about the sopranos. I never did watch that series (I do not have our TV connected) but it looks like something I'd love. When my partner and I watch DVD's together, we usually settle on something we'll both enjoy (sci-fi, the X-files, drama and action films) . But that pretty much rules out romantic comedies, `emotional' films , `intellectual' type of documentaries, and films that are a curiosity to me just `because'. I think having a home gym will be a great opportunity to discover some more interests without feeling bad.
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Bella,
Same for me when I share watching movies BUT to my SHOCK :shock: :shock: :shock: I did make my H watch the Calender Girls which he really really liked the movie :shock: :shock: :shock:
Love
Deb
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Hahaha Deb! That is so cute:) Its so funny discovering what our men enjoy, lol.
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On this thread, I feel like I am at a pajama party.
Always figured I wasn't missing much. :P :P
Just kidding.
Don't know if this is a guy thing but I don't give too much of a hoot about body image.
I'm at the age where a small but detectable bulge started around the old breadbasket. My fourteen (at the time) year old made some unkind comment so I sucked it in and rapping it with my knuckles announced it to be a six-pack. Admiring it, after I let it back out, I declared it to be better than any old run of the mill six-pack; I had a keg. Ever since then she has been riding me about my keg and when I'm going to drain it. :lol: Doesn't bother me, I find it pretty funny actually. Maybe if it was bigger I would. I'm 6' 3" and weigh 210-215 lbs so obviously its not too big, but it definitely wants to advance as my years do.
It's my wife's fault anyway. As she recovered from the chemo she went on a cooking binge and she is a master in the kitchen. I can't disappoint her now can I?
mud
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It seems a man has wandered into the sleepover. Is he here to deliver pizzas? :lol:
mudpuppy, I admire your intestinal fortitude manfully chowing down on all that delicious food. Every day getting up and saying "another day filled with incredibly yummy things to eat" - how do you live?
Well, as for my body image - I had a baby this year. Say no more.
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It seems a man has wandered into the sleepover. Is he here to deliver pizzas? :lol:
Oh dear....
This isn't going to turn into one of those awful movies where the delivering guy asks if someone ordered a pizza then takes off his clothes....
::Chicka Boom Boom..... BoOOW music playing unflatteringly in the background:::.....
is it, lol?
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Light,
(lol) Now where are my dollar bills? Do you take Debit Cards Mudd?
Love
Deb
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Light,
(lol) Now where are my dollar bills? Do you take Debit Cards Mudd?
Love
Deb
::groan::
Poor Mud.... now I have a Six foot something in a red speedo locked in my brain.....
::banging head on keyboard::
And it won't come out, lol!!
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Write,
Macclesfield IS an unlikely place for a fabric shop...but I saw it listed online, so visited it anyway. It's called The Fent Shop, and looks like it's already closed down, from the outside! Inside, it's like an Aladdin's cave, and the staff are very keen.
I've only been there once, but I bought so much because I'd never been there before, and couldn't believe my luck. When I got to the till, I found they don't take credit cards. HUH? So I had to use the last scrapings of my cash and my husband's to pay for what I'd chosen (and that they'd already cut :D). We came out with two huge bags of fabric, and about £1.50 in change :D :D :D
I learnt a bit of dressmaking at school (about two years' worth of classes, once a week), and did a bit of clothes-making once I left school, till I was about twenty. Then I lost interest till four years ago, when I got really sick and tires of all the rubbish that's in the shops. All the clothes now seem to be 'upsized', so what used to be a size 10 (size 6 in the US), now would fit a size 14. So, as I'm a 10, I just can't get anything to fit.
I started making things again, and found that I really enjoyed it.
It's not difficult, and there are some really good patterns released each season, just like in the shops, if you want to be 'trendy'. If you want more classic stuff, there are vintage pattern sites for patterns going back to the 1920's, like www.oldpatterns.com.
www.sewingpatterns.com has the biggest range of current pattern companies' patterns, if you want to browse the whole world!
I think everyone should make their own clothes...women always used to!! It's so much more satisfying, and there's no chance you'll turn up somewhere wearing the same as someone else! I'm sure you can do it, write. You'd love it.
OK, I'll shut up now.
Janet
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Dear Mrs. Mud,
Mr. Mud is on a restricted diet now. He can have six ounces of lean protein at every meal but the rest has to be veggies and fruits and whole grains. He can't have anything that comes out of a box. He can eat lots of fish.
You understand, dear. No sauces.
And Mr. Mud has decided he never liked desserts anyway...
He's going to go chop wood now.
Hops, HSRN (honorary self-registered nurse)
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Ahhhh... mud. And you could eat tuna fish for one day and lose ten pounds... that's how men are :)
Yes, my body image has been a mess since childhood. At five I got chubby. I think this was b/c my mother was preggo w/my sis and ignored me... so she went around whispering (but I heard) about how I was so chubby and she just didn't know what to do.... I stole food as a kid - anything I wasn't allowed to have... I was miserable as a child. As a teen, I starved myself and got fairly thin - but it was never enough b/c mother always compared herself (yes, you are thin... but MY legs are nicer - that sort of thing). Became bulimic... Lost weight while in Russia... (no food - lots of exercise). Now I am living nicely. I have replaced my food with healthier choices (so much easier to do here in America) and have been eating lots of veggies, whole grains, etc. Walk a few miles most days. Am very frustrated b/c I have been at the gym, swimming or walking for 6 months and still NO change. So... think I will try Weight Watchers as it has worked in the past. I know I need to limit my food. Unfortunately, some of it IS metabolism... my son is nine and has gotten a bit chubby in spite of playing/doing sports anywhere from 2 - 5 hours a day. He has had to change his diet to lose a few pounds for football. Fortunately, he knows he is great the way he is and it is just a health change and to meet a requirement for the team. He is so funny - loves his "12 pack".
Thanks for the open talk and allowing me to complain here. I am trying to be positive - I am successful in 3D life. My daughter thinks I am "beautiful
and that I am some kind of work out queen. lol.
Love, Beth
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I guess it's a sign of the times that I wasn't looking at Mud-the-Stud stripping off to demonstrate his er keg but thinking 'wonder what kind of pizzas he's brought....'
:D
Am very frustrated b/c I have been at the gym, swimming or walking for 6 months and still NO change.
I got stuck like this a couple of years ago Beth and turned out one of my meds had broken my thyroid; once I started taking thyroxin the weight dropped off pretty quickly until I met an equilibrium again.
I am sure you are beautiful. One of our British Actresses Dawn French is gorgeous and she's bigger than I am and loves herself. Maybe that's the key to projecting innerbeauty- loving yourself, 'warts and all'?
And I love being fit and healthy even if I don't look like a model.
He can't have anything that comes out of a box.
thoughts return to pizza: more for me then....
:lol:
I think everyone should make their own clothes...women always used to!! It's so much more satisfying, and there's no chance you'll turn up somewhere wearing the same as someone else! I'm sure you can do it, write. You'd love it.
OK, I'll shut up now.
no, keep talking. I think it's a great idea and I am making the leap of faith right now by mentally deciding where to put my sewing table in the new place!
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Write,
OK, if you *are* going to encourage me!
Have you got a sewing machine yet, or are you going to buy a new one?
I bought several in the past few years, looking for the 'perfect' one (but not too expensive) and I think I've got that now, so, any advice needed, and I'll bore the pants off you about how you need to get one with needleup/down, DC motor for control at slow speeds, one-step buttonhole...
I'm off to do some more sewing :D
Janet
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The wonderful, genius, insightful Virginia Satir taught me that I have to love what's inside my body before I can treat the outside with respect.
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The wonderful, genius, insightful Virginia Satir taught me that I have to love what's inside my body before I can treat the outside with respect.
Dear Towrite, It's so simple... and yet not easy :)
This concept used to present quite a dilemma to me -
To respect and value the inner person and allow that to be worked through to the exterior...
...... or to deny self and identify with Christ - that was my question.
I had often felt that these two principles were in direct competition, until my focus was drawn toward the fact that every human being alive is made in the image of God and to be respected as a unique creation. And I realized... that includes me :)
Thank you for this, towrite.
Love,
Hope
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I'm 4' 11" 180 somethin lbs, and I honestly like myself, though I don't like the belly that droops over. I have tried and tried to lose weight, but I have hypothyroidism and it works against me all the way. I also get hypoglycemic and have to run for the typical stand-by of peanutbutter and milk in order to stop shaking. When you have those "shakes" of your body, you usually just care about putting food into it as fast as you can get some...it feels like you want to just DIE during those types of attacks!~
I think i'm pretty in spite of my weight. The only real thing I work at keeping away is the dreaded "double chin." It is a family trait that all the family on my mother's side has had. When I see the chin doubling, I lay off the fried foods and sugars and my face thins again.
I am pretty confident inside myself, so my weight, although I'd prefer it to be less, doesn't hold me back from dressing nice and putting my best foot forward. I have a bold, choleric type personality so I feel like I can hang with the "best of em" in the business world, and earn the same amount of respect as anyone else.
Kudos to the wonderul person God created in each of US!~
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.... now I have a Six foot something in a red speedo locked in my brain.....
I wasn't looking at Mud-the-Stud stripping off
In fact, I wish everyone would run around the beach naked......
Girls are gross.
mud
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That is so cute-- Mud.---- so simple
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Lol. How did this thread get to be about sex and stripping? You girls are so funny.
Mudpuppy reminded me of how much I have learned from men.
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Since mud joined us at this sleepover, I think we should paint his toenails.
OK, Laura, you made me realize one thing, I don't have the double chin and I am working hard not to get it. I do like that on my face :)
Love, Beth
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Virginia Satir
that's the second time in a day this name has cropped up, just ordered two of her books since the universe is obviously trying to show me something!
I have tried and tried to lose weight, but I have hypothyroidism and it works against me all the way.
do you take thyroxin Laura?
Girls are gross.
mud
listen here Mud-the-Stud....boys are the ones who messed with the planet! So there....
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boys are the ones who messed with the planet!
Ummmm, hello and scuse me (is that good sleepover lingo?) but Adam was sitting there minding his own bees wax when Eve told him to take a chomp out of the apple. The big dummy did what he was told and got the blame for the consequences even though he manfully pointed his finger at Eve and tried to tell God it was all her fault and it's been the same ever since.
We only go out and mess with the planet because our wives tell us we'll get a treat if we bring back a big enough chunk of it. :P
mud
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Mud,
Adam was a bit of a numpty, then, wasn't he? :D
Janet
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Adam was sitting there minding his own bees wax when Eve told him to take a chomp out of the apple.
I'm sorry Mud, relying on our mythology to explain away testosterone-fuelled global warming etc does not get you personally out of it!
even though he manfully pointed his finger at Eve and tried to tell God it was all her fault
:lol:
'fess up now, G_d knows anyway what you blokes get thinking, She's pretty smart.
Janet- check out my 'Sewing thread', it's so Mud and other bloke-types don't have to read the ins and outs of gussets ( unless they want to ) :D
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Write,
I've just posted on your 'sewing thread', re. bras and girly things like that.
Don't start me on gussets as well!
Janet
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Adam was a bit of a numpty, then, wasn't he?
You got that right. What's sad is we numpties, who don't know any better, still get the blame. :?
explain away testosterone-fuelled global warming
I thought it was fossil fuels. If it's really testosterone they're burning I cringe to think where they might be collecting it all.
mud
P.S. A gusset is a large, rugged, masculine metal plate bolted or welded to join girders and the like to each other.
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Mud,
No, a gusset is a small strip of fabric that goes.... oh, never mind :shock:
Janet
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'Scuse me, Mud, but Adam bit that apple knowing full well he had been already forbidden to eat it. :lol: You are funny. I think you need a perm - and I volunteer.
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P.S. A gusset is a large, rugged, masculine metal plate bolted or welded to join girders and the like to each other.
and that's exactly why my knickers are so uncomfortable.....
I think you need a perm
another stereotypical porn-star image coming up I fear....
Maybe Muds right and girls are gross :twisted: