Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Ami on January 07, 2008, 05:16:47 PM

Title: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Ami on January 07, 2008, 05:16:47 PM
If anyone would care to talk about this topic, I would be interested. I love Social Psychology,as you know. In horrible social tragedies, the question always arises,"HOW could this happen?" How could "Good Germans" kill their fellow citizens. How could a crowd let Kitty Genovese die and no one intervene.
  The Milgrim experiments tried to replicate Nazi Germany. Mikgrim  found that 60%(I think) of the participants would shock the man to death . 30--40% stood up and would NOT  do it.
  This leads me to question our 'shadow" side, as humans. Do we all have the capacity for evil? Is it a matter of choosing good over evil? Is it all about choice ,when it comes right down to it?
                             Ami
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Certain Hope on January 07, 2008, 05:18:25 PM
Hi, Ami,

Are you seeking a Scriptural view or a secular humanistic one?

Carolyn
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Ami on January 07, 2008, 05:19:12 PM
Any and all views are welcome, Carolyn.                   Ami
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Certain Hope on January 07, 2008, 05:26:17 PM
okey, Ami... well, my view is based on Scripture, as I understand it... which is: the human heart is deceitful and wicked to the core, capable of all manner of evil, and desperately in need of a new birth in Christ Jesus.

Love,
Carolyn
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Leah on January 07, 2008, 05:34:13 PM
Ami

Also, my view is based on Scripture, which is says that the human heart is deceitful and wicked, yes, to the core, and is capable of all manner of evil, and is desperately in need of a new birth in Christ Jesus.  For we are only a new creation in Christ Jesus.

Then, we are to have a teachable heart, and become a disciple, one who learns, and follows, in Spirit, and in Truth, along the only way, the narrow path, through Christ Jesus. 

Keeping to the path, with a true heart and discernment.  Keeping a short account and living a life of personal responsibilty and accountability.

Love, Leah


PS >  Sorry, as I realize that you are aware of all that in any case, as a fellow believer.   :)

Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Lupita on January 07, 2008, 05:37:13 PM
It maybe pertains to your subject. When I took Psychological foundations of education for my teacher certification, they showed us a documentary. Un experiment was made with children that were left alone in a living room for a few minutes. There is candy and they are told not to take the candy. Then mom and experimenter leave the room for a few minutes and observed the child. All of them took candy.  All kids took candy. When confronted, some of them apologized and took responsibility and some totally denied it. But all of them with out exception took the candy.
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Ami on January 07, 2008, 05:38:34 PM
So, Carolyn, the reason all these horrible things could happen is b/c of the nature of man's heart , apart from the new birth. Does that sum it up?        Ami
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Leah on January 07, 2008, 05:44:47 PM

When confronted, some of them apologized and took responsibility and some totally denied it

That's really interesting, Lupita

So, some of the children reacted with a conscience -- apologized -- which is an outward sign of personal responsibility

whilst, other children did not react with a conscience


Thank you for sharing this, as it really is most interesting to know.

Leah
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Lupita on January 07, 2008, 05:53:30 PM
Thank you Lea. The most interesting part. The boys who did not react responsibly, were those who did not have identification with the parent of the same sex. Either did not have one, or were rejected by them or just did not feel that thier same sex parent was loving them.
They ended up the experiment with the creation of anxiety. Anxieti only comes in people who have attachement to others. People who had no attachements to other humans do not develop any anxiety. Killers, etc.

So, the degree of anxiety is going to develop conscience or not.
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Leah on January 07, 2008, 06:05:34 PM

Thank you Lea. The most interesting part. The boys who did not react responsibly, were those who did not have identification with the parent of the same sex. Either did not have one, or were rejected by them or just did not feel that thier same sex parent was loving them.

They ended up the experiment with the creation of anxiety. Anxieti only comes in people who have attachement to others. People who had no attachements to other humans do not develop any anxiety. Killers, etc.

So, the degree of anxiety is going to develop conscience or not.


Again, thank you, Lupita,

A year or so ago, I listened to a speaker give a talk on the subject of the lack of attachment to the parent of same sex

with regard to Challenging Behaviour Patterns.

The root cause being, the boys had no love or attachment with their father, and likewise, the girls had no love or attachment with their mother.

Of course, not all children, but some.

Interesting, thank you.

Love, Leah
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Lupita on January 07, 2008, 06:08:21 PM
Those who developed sociopathies, had  a very low degree of anxiety. Those who did not have anxiety, had not developed any king of attachment. I would say the parents did not elicit any kind of attachment .

Low or no anxiety does not help you study for an exam. Too much anxiety does not let you take the exam, moderate anxiety helps you succeed the exam.  To mention an example.
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Certain Hope on January 07, 2008, 06:13:29 PM
So, Carolyn, the reason all these horrible things could happen is b/c of the nature of man's heart , apart from the new birth. Does that sum it up?        Ami

Basically, yes, Ami... that is how I see it, per Scripture - one example of this, per the Lord Jesus in Matthew 15, especially verses 18-19
"But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man.   
For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders. 


Carolyn
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Lupita on January 07, 2008, 06:13:58 PM
For example those who pull your wings out and complain when you say ouch. No anxiety.
Anxiety produces remource.
Lack of remource-------> repeat the offence----------> repeatitive behavior------------->predominant attitud---------->personality disorder
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Lupita on January 07, 2008, 06:17:43 PM
Basically, yes, Ami... that is how I see it, per Scripture - one example of this, per the Lord Jesus in Matthew 15, especially verses 18-19
"But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man.   


Of course. The thoughts produce feelings, and feelings produce actions. Speaking is an action.

Bad thoughts are going to produce bad feelings and bad actions. And viceverse.

The compulsion of talking is one of the most difficult to control.

That is why James said if you control your tongue you can control everything.
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Lupita on January 07, 2008, 06:22:25 PM
For example, just in the new today, the boyfriend was spilling hot oil on a baby 14 month old because  annoyed with  crying.
A 12 yo bit a 16 months old to death with a baseball bat for too much noise.
No remorse. No anxiety.
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Ami on January 07, 2008, 06:23:50 PM
I have a lot of anxiety ,so I guess I am safe(lol)       Ami
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Bella_French on January 07, 2008, 06:24:29 PM
Ami,

Some good behaviour comes easily to me, and some of it is a matter of discipline. And in some cases I really have to grit my teeth!!!

I've made a lot of mistakes, and the way I usually handle those mistakes is to try to understand myself better, and avoid setting myself up for failure in the future. An analogy might be an alcoholic who avoids bars, because they know they have weakness for  drinking. Thats how I deal with my shadowy side sometimes.

X bella

 





 
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Ami on January 07, 2008, 06:26:11 PM
Bella,
  That is a VERY helpful answer to me. Thanks. It is simple and practical. Thanks, Girlfriend.          Love   Ami
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Leah on January 07, 2008, 06:27:44 PM

Been away from the board for a few moments and WOW such interesting informative dialogue

Thank you both, Lupita, and Carolyn

Love, Leah


For example those who pull your wings out and complain when you say ouch. No anxiety.

Anxiety produces remource.

Lack of remource-------> repeat the offence----------> repeatitive behavior------------->predominant attitud---------->personality disorder

That makes so much sense, Lupita, and I am taking note.


per the Lord Jesus in Matthew 15, especially verses 18-19

"But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man.   
For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders
 

Dear Carolyn, bless you, yes, the very scripture we need, thank you so much. 

Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Lupita on January 07, 2008, 06:31:14 PM
Those are the extremes. There are greys in the middle. People who repeat behaviors and do not learn from mistakes. Constantly having the same comsequences over and over again.

Dont realize that there is a lever they push to bring whatever is happening to them. And do it again. It is the same fundament. Not murderer but with many problems.
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Lupita on January 07, 2008, 06:33:56 PM
Thank you Lea for the validation.
In the USMLE I have to study a lot of psychiatry. I love it.
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Leah on January 07, 2008, 06:35:36 PM
Ami,

Some good behaviour comes easily to me, and some of it is a matter of discipline. And in some cases I really have to grit my teeth!!!

I've made a lot of mistakes, and the way I usually handle those mistakes is to try to understand myself better, and avoid setting myself up for failure in the future. An analogy might be an alcoholic who avoids bars, because they know they have weakness for  drinking. Thats how I deal with my shadowy side sometimes.

X bella
 


Ah, good old fashioned Self Discipline  :)      Like it Bella,

I go round the houses trying to explain what takes only two words!!

Thank you,

Love, Leah
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Leah on January 07, 2008, 06:40:06 PM
Thank you Lea for the validation.
In the USMLE I have to study a lot of psychiatry. I love it.


Your welcome, Lupita,

I find it all very interesting, though admittedly, I have not studied it, so some of it goes over my head.

That said, I will read and read again, until I finally grasp it  :)

In the USMLE I have to study a lot of psychiatry. I love it.   Obviously, you do love it, as you have explained it so clearly.

What does USMLE mean?

Thanks,

Love, Leah
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Lupita on January 07, 2008, 06:43:02 PM
United States Medical Licensing Examination. I spoke about that in previous threads. I have passed all the boards. But did not get a residency training position. Probably for age or lack of somebody to pull me in from the inside. very sad story. A lot of money lost.
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Ami on January 07, 2008, 06:49:09 PM
So, I guess that everyone,so far, says that we HAVE a shadow side,but need to keep it in check.             Ami
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Leah on January 07, 2008, 06:50:30 PM
Dear Lupita,

Oh, I did not know, I may have been absent from the board or something.  Genuinely saddend to know that you lost a lot of money due to all that, truly I am. That seems so unfair, after passing all the boards.  You certainly have not had it easy in life.  

(((( Lupita ))))

Love, Leah
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Lupita on January 07, 2008, 07:00:52 PM
Also genes are involved.

Intriguing to people has been research in animals and humans that links certain neurotransmitters with some of these dimensions or traits. For example, many studies have found a connection between high levels of the neurotransmitter dopamine and behaviors related to novelty-seeking. That gives researchers a place to start looking--genes related to dopamine--among the nearly 50,000 in the human genome.

To date, there are only two real candidate genes that anyone speaks of with any confidence. The first potential link is between some behaviors related to the Big-Five trait novelty-seeking and a gene that produces the protein responsible for creating a dopamine receptor called DRD4. While some studies have failed to replicate this connection, others have identified a link between the DRD4 gene and other traits linked to novelty-seeking, such as drug abuse and attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder. The indication is that this gene--or perhaps some other gene related to it--may influence all these interrelated characteristics.

Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Lupita on January 07, 2008, 07:04:47 PM
For example, over the past decade, studies have established a connection between high scores on the standard personality trait of neuroticism and major depression. In fact, high neuroticism scores can predict whether someone will develop major depression, says Kenneth Kendler, MD, director of the Psychiatric Genetics Research Program at Virginia Commonwealth University, who conducted some of the research showing this link. Other studies by Kendler suggest that neuroticism and depression share as much as 60 percent of their genes. In fact, most researchers in this area expect they'll find that many of the genes that influence general personality also play a role in many forms of psychopathology
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Lupita on January 07, 2008, 07:09:37 PM
Serotonergic genes and personality traits in the Korean population.Ham BJ, Kim YH, Choi MJ, Cha JH, Choi YK, Lee MS.
Yong-In Psychiatric Research Institute, Kyeonggi Province, 449-769, South Korea.

Serotonergic genes have been implicated in mood disorders, alcoholism and certain personality traits. The goal of this study was to investigate the relationship between personality traits and several important genes in the serotonin system. The participants included 146 healthy adults with no history of psychiatric disorders or other physical illness during the last 6 months. All participants were tested by the Temperament and Character Inventory (TCI) and genotyped serotonin transporter, serotonin receptors (5-HT(2A) and 5-HT(6)) and tryptophan hydroxylase gene polymorphisms. Genotyping was analyzed with polymerase chain reaction. Differences in TCI dimensions and sub-scales among three groups were examined with ANOVA. Our result suggested that 5-HT(2A) receptor gene polymorphism (A-1438G) appears to be associated with self-determinism and self-transcendence (ST). Our result also indicated a significant relationship between 5-HT(6) receptor gene polymorphism (C267T) and ST. Further studies of polymorphisms of other genes and their interactions may clarify the complex relationship between personality and genes.

PMID: 14698468 [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE]
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Lupita on January 07, 2008, 07:14:21 PM
People who smoke, take street drugs or become heavy drinkers may be genetically predisposed to their habits, suggest the results of a large new study.
By combining 46 previous studies, scientists have definitively linked two genes to personality traits thought to make people more likely to take up risky lifestyles.
The analysis of the data from over 20,000 people linked a particular version of a gene for the transport of the neurotransmitter serotonin - 5HTT-LPR - to having a more anxious, neurotic personality.
And a version of the gene for a receptor of the neurotransmitter dopamine - the D4 receptor - was associated with having a more outgoing personality. It is well-established that both these personality traits are more likely to lead to substance misuse.
"Our study suggest that there's a genetic basis to certain kinds of personality trait, which may be important in influencing whether people take up habits like smoking or whether they can subsequently give them up," says Marcus Munafő, team leader of Cancer Research UK's GP research group in Oxford. In the future, pharmaceutical or behavioural treatments could be tailored to the type of person you are, he told New Scientist.
Among the health risks associated with substance misuse is an increased chance of cancer, notes Robert Souhami, director of clinical research at Cancer Research UK. "These people may be resistant to conventional health messages and may need subtler health warnings, or perhaps specific anti-addiction treatment for their particular personality type," he says.
Novelty seeking
The researchers analysed 46 studies examining the association between genes and behaviour. Munafő a psychologist, says that the individual studies have come to conflicting conclusions.
Only two genes were "robustly related" to behaviour, found the analysis. A short version of the serotonin transporter gene was strongly linked to neuroticism. Serotonin is known to control emotions like anxiety and depression. The short version of the gene was associated with lower levels of serotonin activity.
"If you have very high natural levels of anxiety you are more likely to smoke," says Munafő. "If you belong to the group with the short version of the gene, on average your neuroticism score will be 10 per cent higher."
But he adds: "It's high, but still only part of the story." Environment, such as childhood experience or diet, will also have a large influence on how genes are expressed.
Variations in the gene for the dopamine D4 receptor may affect how extravert a person is by altering the brain's response to the neurotransmitter, although this link was less strong. Dopamine is thought to be associated with novelty seeking behaviour and pleasure - which could make a person more likely to try new substances.
The group is currently analysing new data on how genes and personality influence nicotine dependence in a smoker. A relationship between the three "looks promising", says Munafő.
Journal reference: Molecular Psychiatry (vol 8, p 471)

Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Certain Hope on January 07, 2008, 07:52:57 PM
So, I guess that everyone,so far, says that we HAVE a shadow side,but need to keep it in check.             Ami

Hi, Ami,

That's not my answer, no... not the part about keeping it in check.
Not sure I can make myself clear on this in just a few words, but I don't believe that anyone can overcome the wickedness of the flesh by sheer willpower/trying to be good. I think of Jesus' words: "Without Me, you can do nothing."

Of course, I'm not speaking of mass murderers and such here, just "ordinary" wrong-doing, so to speak...
from the standpoint of the new birth experience, which is the event (and the only event, in my belief) which changes a person from the inside out.

It's like this - the harder I try not to do something (to keep myself "in check"), then the more I'm actually magnifying the wrongdoing (the more I actually am thinking about that thing I don't want to do). Rather than that, I believe that I need to keep my mind and heart focused on Jesus in order to magnify Him... and then the rest melts away. Sorry, it's hard to put into words, but I hope that helped.

Carolyn
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Ami on January 07, 2008, 07:56:34 PM
Carolyn,
  You are saying that IN Him, you are strong----right?Your strength is from your position and reliance on Him,alone.Do I have that right?   
                                                                                Ami
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Leah on January 07, 2008, 07:59:54 PM

Correct me if I am wrong in my thinking, as a believer, please do.

If one is a new creation in Christ Jesus, as a believer, and follower of Christ, a disciple with a teachable heart (know what I mean)

well then,

If this person displays behaviour of a 'shadow side'

then,

that person would be 'a wolf in sheep's clothing'

That's what just sprung to mind.

Could be wrong.

Leah
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Certain Hope on January 07, 2008, 08:02:14 PM
Carolyn,
  You are saying that IN Him, you are strong----right?Your strength is from your position and reliance on Him,alone.Do I have that right?   
                                                                                Ami

Ami,

That's part of it, yes... but not only my strength, also my goodness. Remember when the Pharisees (I think it was) asked Jesus something and they addressed Him as "Good Master"?
Jesus responded to them with a question - Why do you call me good? He asked... "there is no one good, but God."

And another passage (of many, many passages) which tells us that there is no one good, for ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

And so I'm saying that anything "good" which I can do is not accredited to my account apart from Christ, because without the new birth in Him, it's all filthy rags. Unless I am born again, I am a slave to sin... but in Him, I am a slave to righteousness.

Oooo Ami, Sorry... I can get really wound up on this topic... will try to keep it short and sweet.

Carolyn
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Ami on January 07, 2008, 08:07:36 PM
No, Carolyn, Don't keep it short,as far as I am concerned . I need help to put this all together in my mind and to get a peace about it.
 Leah--we still have a flesh ----right?             Ami
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Leah on January 07, 2008, 08:10:27 PM
Edit
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Ami on January 07, 2008, 08:12:41 PM
Well. Leah--doesn't the flesh WANT us to do "bad' things?   Also, evil has access to our thoughts--right? So evil thoughts can "come " to us --right? That is not our fault,is it?           Ami
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Leah on January 07, 2008, 08:15:52 PM
Edit
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Certain Hope on January 07, 2008, 08:17:12 PM
Thank you, Ami... very much. I will try not to get too long-winded tho...

I'd recommend Romans 7 re: the flesh -  vs. 18-25 - where Paul explains:

For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good {is} not.  
  For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want.  
  But if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me.  
   I find then the principle that evil is present in me, the one who wants to do good.  
 For I joyfully concur with the law of God in the inner man,  
 but I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members.  
  Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death?  
  Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin.  

In reading this, please remember that the born again disciple of Jesus has received a new spirit and is to walk by the Holy Spirit, and not by the flesh.

Also, please note that Jesus said His disciples are to deny themselves, not crucify themselves.
 The actual death of the born again believer's flesh occurred on the cross - Galatians 2:20 - I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the {life} which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.

Galatians 5:24   Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

Note the past tense used there... it's a done deal. The old man is dead  :)  just sometimes his stinking corpse likes to reach up from the grave and grab us.

Carolyn
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Certain Hope on January 07, 2008, 08:19:16 PM
Ami and Leah... please note that I am trying not to butt into your portion of the conversation here...

and I'm not looking for a medal, either - lol... just explaining that I'm posting responses to previous questions and not doing a very good job of keeping up. (((((((both of you))))))

Carolyn
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Ami on January 07, 2008, 08:21:19 PM
So, back to my original question, Carolyn,, if a believer in Jesus has 'bad " thoughts --where are they coming from----the old dead corpse? 
                                                               Ami
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Leah on January 07, 2008, 08:24:44 PM
Edit
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Certain Hope on January 07, 2008, 08:27:07 PM
So, back to my original questionCarolyn,, if a believer in Jesus has 'bad " thoughts --where are they coming from----the old dead corpse? 
                                                               Ami

Yes, mostly, I believe Ami... exactly.

The flesh.

And the battlefield is the mind, which is why it is so critical that we keep our minds focused on the Lord Jesus and renew them daily to His truth.

One example which really registers with me is the apostle Peter. We always hear about how he failed to walk on the water...
but when I read it closely, I see that this man actually did walk on the water... for a brief moment, he did!
And then what are we told?
He considered the wind and the waves...
Well, what did Peter have to do in order to take the time to consider his physical surroundings?
He had to take his eyes off of Jesus.

And don't forget... we're not told that Peter sank... only that he began to sink... and then he called out to the Lord to save him.

That's an example worthy of note!

Another old saying which may help you = a quote from Martin Luther...
You can't keep the birds from flying over your head, but you can certainly prevent them from building a nest in your hair.

You see? It's not a sin to be tempted and it's not sinful to have bad thoughts float in and out. It's in that second look where we risk latching onto them, when we nurse the wrong thoughts and allow them to begin to take root (build a nest).

Carolyn
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Lupita on January 07, 2008, 08:30:14 PM
According to cognitive therapy you can control your thoughts. You can replace your thoughts with more positive rational thoughts.

You have to identify the thoughts first.

Can you share what are the bad thoughts that you have?

I am trying to replace my negative thoughts. I have been partially successful. I have more good moments now than I used to.

Do you have bad thoughts of killing? commiting adultery? what are your bad thoughts?

You have posted so many times about that.


Coming back to what we were talking about, you cannot get to a conclusion now, there is too much to analize.
Environment, genetics, faith, education, parent relationship, race, culture, etc.

Did you know that there is more suicied among the white race than the african american race?

Do you know that white race dehidrate more eaasily than the rest of the races? The last race to die of dehydration is asian. The more resistant.

There are many things to consider.
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Certain Hope on January 07, 2008, 08:33:12 PM
In reading this, please remember that the born again disciple of Jesus has received a new spirit and is to walk by the Holy Spirit, and not by the flesh.

But, the born again disciple can walk in the flesh, in rebellion or disobedience, or what ever.

Else, how come some born agains do some dreadful things.

My exNH for one.

Leah


PS >  Please don't feel the need to apologize to me for joining in the discussion, as you are more than welcome, Carolyn   :)   No medals.

Thank you, Leah :)
It is easy for me to try to answer all the questions all at once and really become a buttinski, so... I was trying to keep pace.
This is an area of passionate interest for me, so I get really into it.

Yes, we must never forget the deadliness of sin and recognize that a repeated falling away into sinful lifestyles (emphasis on lifestyles, not the occasional slip) can lead to a seriously hardened heart which may refuse to heed the warnings/convictions/guidings of the Holy Spirit.

Carolyn

P.S.  My ex husband, npd, claimed to be a born again believer. I never saw a single sign of that, though.
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Ami on January 07, 2008, 08:34:23 PM
Thank you so much Carolyn and Leah. I have so much guilt and shame from my M .It makes it hard to get the '"simplicity " of the Bible in my heart. .
  It makes it hard to really believe that I am "righteousness" b/c of what God has done. I keep feeling that maybe what my M said was true, even though I KNOW, the Bible is true.
 It is like having 'cult brainwashing". Down deep, you were told s/thing so many times that it "feels" true with your heart. I will take to heart everything you both said . Thanks so very much.   Ami


(((((((((((Leah, Carolyn))))))))))))))
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Leah on January 07, 2008, 08:36:09 PM
In reading this, please remember that the born again disciple of Jesus has received a new spirit and is to walk by the Holy Spirit, and not by the flesh.

But, the born again disciple can walk in the flesh, in rebellion or disobedience, or what ever.

Else, how come some born agains do some dreadful things.

My exNH for one.

Leah


PS >  Please don't feel the need to apologize to me for joining in the discussion, as you are more than welcome, Carolyn   :)   No medals.

Thank you, Leah :)
It is easy for me to try to answer all the questions all at once and really become a buttinski, so... I was trying to keep pace.
This is an area of passionate interest for me, so I get really into it.

Yes, we must never forget the deadliness of sin and recognize that a repeated falling away into sinful lifestyles (emphasis on lifestyles, not the occasional slip) can lead to a seriously hardened heart which may refuse to heed the warnings/convictions/guidings of the Holy Spirit.

Carolyn

P.S.  My ex husband, npd, claimed to be a born again believer. I never saw a single sign of that, though.


Carolyn,

Yes, as we have discussed, I have been a born again believer and follower, with the exact same passion as yourself, for many years now.

Leah
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Lupita on January 07, 2008, 08:37:39 PM
OK, I guess I am no longer included in this conversation. And it is not your fault if what I say is not interesting.
So, have a great night.
God bless you.
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Ami on January 07, 2008, 08:39:23 PM
Lupita,
 YOU are included. I was trying to figure out what you meant ,was all.Could you explain further?             Ami
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Leah on January 07, 2008, 08:40:01 PM
Thank you ((( Ami )))

It was a real blessing to my heart to be able to freely share of our faith in Christ Jesus.

In my own words, without fear and trembling.

God Bless and Guide You.

Love, Leah
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Ami on January 07, 2008, 08:44:43 PM
Thank you,Leah. I have to let go of the N brainwashing which "feels' normal and take on what the Bible says which "feels' abnormal. That is why it is so hard. What you were brainwashed with,as a child "feels' true.
 I have much to think about. Thank you again for your time and care, Carolyn,Leah and Lupita             Ami
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Ami on January 07, 2008, 08:48:04 PM
Dear Carolyn,
  I think that I just got my answer---REFRAME---all of it--all the N garbage about who I am. Reframe what I think about WHO I am. I was told that I was "bad" .I had to be the blank slate that carried all my M's shame, bad feelings and pain. I am still carrying it, to this day.
       Ami
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Ami on January 07, 2008, 08:50:49 PM
Are you on the right thread,Izzy(lol)?                  Ami
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Ami on January 07, 2008, 09:01:38 PM
I think what it comes down to is the saying "Train up a child in the way he will go and he will not depart from it." WHEN ,you are trained by N's,it is hard to "depart' from that. It SEEMS  true ,even though if you believe the Bible, it is not true.
 Getting the Bible teaching to seem "normal" and the N teaching to seem "abnormal" must  be the key. Thank you for helping me,
 Carolyn, Leah, Lupita,and Bella. I feel more at peace------much more!       Love    Ami
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Certain Hope on January 07, 2008, 09:59:24 PM
Dear Ami,

Meditating on God's Word is the most wonderful way to plant it in your mind... and from there it can take deeper root in your heart as you step forward in faith on that foundation.

Psalm 139 is just one passage which is so loaded with absolutely beautiful confirmations...
I bet if you spend 30 days reading that and meditating on it, you would experience dramatic changes.

Here are just a few verses from this psalm:

O Lord, You have searched me and known me.
  You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You understand my thought from afar. 
  You scrutinize my path and my lying down, And are intimately acquainted with all my ways. 
  Even before there is a word on my tongue, Behold, O Lord, You know it all. 

For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb. 
 I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
 Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. 

And Ami, please focus on verses 17-18, as follows... these simply amazed me when I first realized what they actually say!!

How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them! 
  If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand. When I awake, I am still with You. 


Imagine that... God has so many precious thoughts toward you, Ami... more than the grains of sand in this world.  :)

As one of my favorite Bible teachers said (and this really shocked the old religious me)... if God carried a wallet, your photograph would be in it;  and if God had a refrigerator, your artwork would be on it!

OK, I am done now.  :)

Love to you,
Carolyn




Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Izzy_*now* on January 07, 2008, 10:15:25 PM
Are you on the right thread,Izzy(lol)?                  Ami
Ami

Did you type this twice?

I deleted from one thread and now I know

Dopamine, mentioned in Lupita's long posts, is also known as L-DOPA. It is used for Parkinson's Disease.

Those men in Rehab with me with Parkinson's revealed to everyone an increased interest in sex, again.

Then all the guys were wanting it!

FYI-only

Izzy
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Ami on January 07, 2008, 10:17:56 PM
Thank you Carolyn--so very much.         Ami
Title: Re: Our Shadow Side
Post by: Ami on January 08, 2008, 08:45:23 AM
Thank you, dear Friends---Bella, Leah, Carolyn, Lupita
   I feel better,today. I am needing to integrate new ways of thinking and to replace what I learned from my N mother. I have to throw the 'garbage" out.
 It is a process. It helps to open my thinking to others and allow their ideas access to my head.
 I feel more centered, today. Thank you.       Love    Ami