Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Overcomer on February 16, 2008, 09:11:47 AM
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Call me paranoid but do I post things like I am giving the final remarks on the topic? I have noticed that quite often I will make a remark on a thread and that is that. No more responses. Or I am so boring that no one has a response to my nonsense.
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Hi Overcomer!
I notice alot of your posts are short. However, they are usually very insightful and interesting to read. I enjoy you! Keep it up, please.
Dandylife
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Thanks Dandy!! Usually quite short because I post on my phone and I have to type on the number pad of the phone!!! You don't want me to get a computer because I may talk nonstop....and sometimes I think that is overkill.
But thanks for the vote of confidence. I am PMSing so I am probably suffering from some sort of delusion...
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Dear Kelly,
You are one of my all time favorite board members and your posts are honest and "real". I think that you are just feeling more insecure ,now, b/c if PMS. Love Ami
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Yes, call me delusional and irrational during this time of the month. Although last month it was towards the end of my period that I had a crying episode. I have had problems with my eyes mattering ever since that crying episode. I do not want to lose it like I do........
But I still think it is almost like I say at the end of a thread..............."that's all I have to say about that." And then no one responds. Maybe I need to ask a Q at the end of my posts so it will get a response or two so I know if I am on the right track, etc.
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Dear Kelly,
I am smiling to myself, about myself, here. :)
As I have started to put at the bottom of my thread post or post, " thoughts anyone "
And no-one responded. Yesterday, I deleted the thread "The Crossword Puzzle"
NOTE: I was not in the least upset -- I am able to accept that no-one wished to engage, or had any thoughts, it rang no bells for anyone.
I have found it a lot easier to have low expectation -- then usually, interactions are a pure delight and pleasure, for me, can't speak for another!!
:)
Sorry to know of your PMs and other painful issues ..... I resolved the problem and regained a life, and in that sense, my life has been superb ever since. I HAD lived in agony for years.
Take gentle care of you, and please know that I have valued, and do value, your postings. "thank you"
Love, Leah
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I think Lollie is right but I certainly have felt the way you do OC. In fact it was exactly that feeling that led me to take a break last spring. It seemed that no one cared about anything that I said. It can be painful.
One thing that I did to help myself was to mostly post things that I wouldn't mind if noone posted. Sometimes I slip and once recently I posted something very, very personal and noone commented. It hurt and I removed my post - and that helped.
I try to limit my vulnerability on the board. Sometimes I share more in a PM.
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Good insight, gals. I am glad I am not the only one who feels unheard and neglected. I have felt Lupita feeling that way as well.
It is just too bad that it is the hot topics that get all the attention. Sometimes we just need a hug and a little support.
Like my menopause thread.....no one is responding and I REALLY need help on that one!! Hint hint!!!
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Hi, Kelly,
As Lolly's said here: Sometimes threads just run out of energy or juice, and I think that's probably what happens in a huge majority of the cases. In other words, no, I don't think it's about you!
I agree! I don't think it has anything whatsoever to do with you. Sometimes the threads run dry, sometimes I run dry... lol...
and sometimes a sudden burst of new threads will come along at once (when alot of folks are online simultaneously) and push the previous posts down lower on the page or even to a new page. Many days, I never get to the 2nd page... although I try to look there periodically.
Personally, I always feel bad if I leave someone hanging... but then there was some talk here on the board about folks who need to have the last word, so - I figured - maybe they're right... Maybe it's good to just let some of them go - not to hang, but simply because no reply is absolutely required. But it never bothers me if someone else doesn't respond to me, because I know it's mostly likely a matter of circumstances and nothing personal. Stuff happens.
And GS - I'm so sorry you felt that way again recently... but I know what you mean. The more vulnerable the post, the more it hurts if it's left neglected or misunderstood.
Hugs,
Carolyn
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no one is responding and I REALLY need help on that one!! Hint hint!!!
That's so weird Kell. You did get responses. Were they not the ones you wanted?
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Oh yeah, they were great responses but I guess what I was looking for was a "I have been there and it is over and there is a light at the end of the tunnel....." Or, have you tried the balloon procedure? Or something. I know I got some "have a hysterectomy" posts and I have really thought about that. I just do not want to suffer through this for another ten years! My aunt didn't stop having periods until she was 58!
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I think Lollie is right but I certainly have felt the way you do OC. In fact it was exactly that feeling that led me to take a break last spring. It seemed that no one cared about anything that I said. It can be painful.
One thing that I did to help myself was to mostly post things that I wouldn't mind if noone posted. Sometimes I slip and once recently I posted something very, very personal and noone commented. It hurt and I removed my post - and that helped.
I try to limit my vulnerability on the board. Sometimes I share more in a PM.
Dear GS
I resonate with accord of all you have shared.
Likewise, I took a break from the board last spring (May'07), for the same reason, and, only returned to the board in Oct'07.
I deleted yesterday, that way, I am not hurt, as in taking care of myself.
So I sincerely do understand your valued posting.
Leah x
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Yeah, and I missed you when you were gone!!!!
I have done the same. I signed up during a particularly challenging period with my mom. I didn't know anyone and really felt like an outsider for quite some time. I left the board (not intentionally - just didn't seem to need the help for awhile....) but came back when an nmom outburst happened.....
Now there is almost always a response from Ami. You can pretty much depend on her to at least give you an atta girl.....
But sometimes, I understand, your struggle does not resonate with others.
And Iz? See? I knew it would last until 58 - I cannot stand it!! Did you feel any cramps or anything like that???
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Now there is almost always a response from Ami. You can pretty much depend on her to at least give you an atta girl.....
Yes, so very true.
Bless you ((( Ami )))
Leah x
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After my last period, it was about 5 years of hot flashes and occasional night sweats for me, Kel, but no cramps.
I use a very small amount of estrogen cream.
Dr. Christiane Northrup has a very good newsletter on women's health, and she's open to alternative methods. Maybe you'd find some help there.
I'm sorry you're riding such a hormonal roller coaster. I know it can be awfully hard.
hugs,
Hops
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Thanks! The pain is very bad and sometimes the emotions get me. I was lucky this month-the two worse days were Saturday and Sunday and we were snowed in so I just laid around and moaned. H thinks I am playing it up-i just have it. Tomorrow I should be on the mend and if nothing sends me off the deep end I will be ok. Now that I think of it the whole former employee thing does not seem as bad today as it did a couple days ago!
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Dear Kelly,
Hoping that today has been much better and less painful for you!
Carolyn
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Well, yesterday were the labor pain like cramps. Today I went into work and that black cloud hung heavy over my head. The sight of my mother brought me to tears. I go home and immediately start looking in the want ads. EVERY month!! Every month I go off the deep end. It seems not too long ago that I was here and now I am back. I cannot stand it........I cannot stand it.....
My patience is gone. I cry out to God and ask for a reprieve. I am in jail...
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Hi Kel,
I know it's a tough time to think about this...but do you feel that in moving closer to your mother's house (and getting her financial help it) that you might have wedged yourself more tightly into the battle for the business?
Is it possible to think about downsizing your lifestyle, maybe focusing on Voluntary Simplicity, in order to free yourself? Even if it involved moving way across town to a simpler home...or even moving to another state to work in a Christian business that needs and would appreciate a capable manager? Could your husband and children get on board and support you in a new adventure elsewhere? How can you free yourself from the chronic irritant of your mother without removing yourself from her orbit?
You could then work PT, or take more time to find a job that would bring you some daily pleasure, instead of all this misery...
Your life matters. Your days matter. Your serenity matters. You should not live without hope of change.
Just thoughts, and I know they're probably very improbable suggestions. Just don't want you to forget that you always, always, always have choices. Sometimes when I face the possibility of losing my home, I think: how happy could I decide to be in a simple apartment, or a townhouse? Couldn't I create a happy colorful atmosphere? Couldn't I invite people over for potlucks and feel joy anyway, even without this big middle-class security symbol?
with love,
Hops
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There was a job online for an internet concierge. You work from home and when someone goes to the website, you immediately respond to them either via email or by phone....it would be commissioned based.
So I thought between that and waiting tables and my new V4l.com/kellym business I might be able to make enough money.......
It is just the futility of it all. I love the movie The Count of Monte Cristo and even he was only imprisoned for 12 years.....I have been for 14.
But then in the midst of my despair my sponsor in V4l called and said she had someone from Georgia and Florida she was going to sign up under me so that gave me the boost I needed.....
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Dear Kelly,
I'm glad to hear that you got a boost today, from that call...
and I positively agree with all that Hops wrote to you, about downsizing liifestyle for the sake of serenity.
Love,
Carolyn