Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Overcomer on April 20, 2008, 09:16:13 AM
-
I was reading Gaining Strengths thread about being more postive - it made me recall a conversation with my Doctor. She told me I had a larger than usual aura.......in other words, I have the ability to hurt people......with my negative energy.
I realize that over the years the stress of working with my Nmom have compounded to the point that I am sick - plain and simple - sick. My back aches, I have horrible PMS, I am overweight, I have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, etc. etc.
So basically, I am kiiling myself. I have periodic episodes of emotional explosions...I am not happy.
So I googled Stress can kill you and got lots of information....
The number one way to deal with this is to remove myself from work - I am working on that right now.
Second, take a look at this marriage. Is it what I really want in the long run???
Can anyone else add to this list? What are good stress reducers???
-
Kelly, I'm so glad, impressed, pleased that you're doing this.
This is reality, and it's your precious life and serenity and sanity at stake.
Clutter.
Stuff.
Ownership.
I believe living more simply, less hooked in to the consumerism, is a huge stress-reliever.
There's a terrific book called Voluntary Simplicity, you could look for. And it's a question of degree.
No judging, just gentle questions that really help us look at CONSUMING.
What's it doing to us?
Secondarily to getting away from your Mom/work, and evaluating your marriage,
this could be a good direction to explore.
love
Hops
-
Thanks Hops-although I have to say I am not much of a consumer. I do not buy myself clothes or other nice things. I spend most of my $ on gas! Still good ideas to consider. If I make the decision that my marriage is a sham then I may be forced into downsizing. I think I will head over to the health store and get some more vitamin d and some iron.
-
I think that our emotional "lies" cause us the most stress. For example, I am seeing the need for boundaries. I have been VERY stressed b/c I could not set a boundary well. I could not recieve other's boundaries well, either.
The larger lesson is that I am worth having a boundary.
These two concepts alone will help alleviate stress tremendously.
The lies and distortions cause so much stress.
That is my current thinking, Kelly.
You are going forward on the right track. I know many people in your life need you and value you. They need you to be the best you can be ,so you can be there for them ,and yourself.
There are certain lessons that we must learn ,as adults, when we had an NM, I think.
We have to be in 'Life 101" b/c most of what we learned was lies.
I was just thinking about one lessons from my M.
She taught me that there WERE perfect people . I think she still believes it. * I *was failing,of course, was "worthless" and could be put down b/c I deserved it.I was not perfect, so I was worthless. .
How silly was that idea, about "perfect people" and my own worthlessness.
These are the distortions that cause tremendous stress, for me. Love Ami
-
My stress has similar roots. In my business my mom expects us to pretend that everything is ok. She does not know how to set boundaries so she does not say no to sales reps or customers etc. I used to be this way but have learned boundaries. But now this mom that knows no boundaries cannot accept my boundaries-I feel violated by her. My stress is that I am forced to live a lie. My aunt embraces the lie-the lie is that my mom can save the day. I have come to the conclusion God is my source
-
Kelly,
Here's something completely practical: excercise. Excerise is the biggest stress-buster for me. It also helps with depression, anxiety, and some of my chronic pain. Even a brisk walk helps.
Exercise certainly makes a huge difference, walking ... in the fresh air is brilliant, and it's absolutely free! Added bonus - dropping down 2 sizes!
Exercise is great for ones skin too.
Love, Leah
-
It is amazing. My mom and daughter and son in law went to Minneapolis to IKEA to buy stuff for their new home. My mom and I get along fine. Boy, but you get me at work and my body tightens up> I am gonna try the other stuff.
-
Vitamin B12 for stress.
Lots of water.
Excersize helps a lot.
Lighter
-
Dear OC
My mom and I get along fine.
Confusiing! I thought she was problem! Isn't she an N?
-
We get along outside of work. She used to control my everything but I set personal boundaries in 2002......it's work that has me over the top stressed and angry. I have always tried to compartmentalize my life...
-
Ditto these things: exercise (number 1!), vitamins, water, breathing exercises and yoga or meditation, absolutely no substances like alcohol, no junk food, plenty of sleep. Taking care of yourself like you would anyone else you love.
-
Lighter-what is the thing with B12?
-
As I understand it.... vitamin B12 helps combat stress.
Not sure what it actually does for us but.... I take it when things get really tough.
Not to mention..... that extra glass of water I drink with.... prolly helps too.
Lighter
-
Ok!
-
Light,
When I was really sick one time and very run down they also gave me a Vitamin B shot along with antibiotic's and it made me feel so much better the very next day as far a fatigue.
Love
Deb
-
Ohhh right.
Vitamin B12 shots.... :shock:
I think I'll stick with the capsules.
Lighter
-
GS gave me a website to get supplements for the adrenals. What a life saver. I was wiped out,physically ,after Scott died. When I went food shopping, I had to pray I could get down the aisle.
They are wonderful,Kelly Love Ami
-
Light,
Yeah, first and last time I ever did the shot. Ow!
Love
Deb
-
Want more info on what GS SAID. And no shots for me either! Except the time I had strep so bad I needed a shot of antibiotics before I started the pills. Got blood drawn yesterday and I have a big bruise on the inside of my arm. I look like a drug user but hopefully my doc will find something that will help my aches and pains!
-
Kelly,
Whats your symptoms? I have two friends that have Fibromyalgia. Does any of your symptons feel like this.
Signs and symptoms of fibromyalgia can vary, depending on the weather, stress, physical activity or even the time of day. Common signs and symptoms include:
Widespread pain. Fibromyalgia is characterized by pain in specific areas of your body when pressure is applied, including the back of your head, upper back and neck, upper chest, elbows, hips and knees. The pain generally persists for months at a time and is often accompanied by stiffness.
Fatigue and sleep disturbances. People with fibromyalgia often wake up tired and unrefreshed even though they seem to get plenty of sleep. Some studies suggest that this sleep problem is the result of a sleep disorder called alpha wave interrupted sleep pattern, a condition in which deep sleep is frequently interrupted by bursts of brain activity similar to wakefulness. So people with fibromyalgia miss the deep restorative stage of sleep. Nighttime muscle spasms in your legs and restless legs syndrome also may be associated with fibromyalgia.
Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS). The constipation, diarrhea, abdominal pain and bloating associated with IBS are common in people with fibromyalgia.
Headaches and facial pain. Many people who have fibromyalgia also have headaches and facial pain that may be related to tenderness or stiffness in their neck and shoulders. Temporomandibular joint (TMJ) dysfunction, which affects the jaw joints and surrounding muscles, also is common in people with fibromyalgia.
Heightened sensitivity. It's common for people with fibromyalgia to report being sensitive to odors, noises, bright lights and touch.
Other common signs and symptoms include:
Depression
Numbness or tingling sensations in the hands and feet (paresthesia)
Difficulty concentrating
Mood changes
Chest pain
Dry eyes, skin and mouth
Painful menstrual periods
Dizziness
Anxiety
Love Deb
-
I can still manage a good passing out session when I get a shot.
Never outgrew that darned habit... must lie down or risk waking up on the floor to concerned, sometimes unhappy, faces.
Hope they figure out how to get you over the aches and pains OC.
::sending a prayer for healing and solutions::
Lighter
-
Wow Deb-I googled fibromyalsia yesterday! Some of the symptoms fit-some do not. The key is I have pain every single day of my life. Hip pain. Lower back pain. Uterus pain. Shortness of breath. Restless legs. Aches.
-
Kel...
My Dr. prescribed Cymbalta when my back pain wouldn't budge, because I also had nerve damage (disk stuff) and Cymbalta is used for neuropathy, he thought it might help. It stunned me because my pain dropped 50% with the first dose. It's also an antidepressant, and though I don't think I was clinically depressed at the time, I was somewhat.
I'm still taking it. Thoughts of weaning off, if my back stays stable...but maybe it would help you for a while?
If not an Rx, I know that these supplements also help with BOTH pain AND depression:
SAM-e
Fish oil
Do try these...no harm, no side effects, only good.
love
Hops
-
Well I am going to ask the doc for a whole battery of tests to rule out some things I fear-I will mention cymbalta! I was hoping to get rid of stress would help!
-
Dear Kelly
GS gave me the name of these supplements and they are SO wonderful. They are Future Formulations by Dr James L Wilson. I went on the basic program.
They helped regulate my hormones, too. Let me know what you do, Kelly. Love Ami
PS I take Krill Oil tablets from Dr Mercola's site. They make your skin beautiful, as well as many other things.
-
Wow Deb-I googled fibromyalsia yesterday! Some of the symptoms fit-some do not. The key is I have pain every single day of my life. Hip pain. Lower back pain. Uterus pain. Shortness of breath. Restless legs. Aches.
Hi Kelly,
Adrenal Stress
Hypothroidism
Fibromyalgia
are progressively linked in that particular order ...... first and foremost, Adrenal Stress needs to be addressed.
Speaking from my own personal experience of ill health in this genre, and eventual recovery.
I just did not want to progress onto, and suffer from, the painful Fibromyalgia.
I posted about this last year, to ReallyMe, on her thread.
Love and thoughts of you,
Leah
PS > I could not combat stress, instead, I had to remove myself from the source of my ongoing stress, that is to say, from my NM, sadly.
My health was going downhill, rapidly. My NM did not care one scrap and laughed at me, initially, and later, after some thought, she told me that I would be useful for her chores, when fully incapacitated and unable "work" ! "Maude the Mule"
-
Dear Leah,
The" Maude the Mule" is a perfect NM saying.That is on par with my M saying,"Don't bother to call to tell me you arrived safely, I'll hear if the plane crashes(lol). I am sorry you endured that. I am seeing how ,if a person suffers, as we do with an NM, we get deeper and more compassionate.
There is s/thing that does happen to people who suffer IF they can come out of it,intact, which does not happen,always, or even ,often. However, when it does, there is a beauty that comes from suffering, which is not there ,without it.
Love Ami
-
Dear Ami,
... my M saying,"Don't bother to call to tell me you arrived safely, I'll hear if the plane crashes(lol).
Gosh, honestly, I can hear my M saying something like that, and has done in the past. Thinking back, my M always had a certain morbid inclination in her choice of illustrations and expression. I am wondering now, if that is significant, or not.
I am seeing how ,if a person suffers, as we do with an NM, we get deeper and more compassionate.
Certainly does seem to be the way it goes, having read numerous life story accounts - maybe, also, suffering brings a deeper understanding and compassion of, and for, humanity. That said, there are those of whom have not suffered, and have such qualities. Interesting thought to ponder.
There is s/thing that does happen to people who suffer IF they can come out of it,intact, which does not happen,always, or even ,often. However, when it does, there is a beauty that comes from suffering, which is not there ,without it.
I understand what you are saying, what you mean, and as such, do you think, perhaps, the beauty comes from the sense of peace that then resides within?
Love to you,
Leah
-
Hi Kelly,
I came across this and thought of you. Don't know if it offers anything for the PMS or other symptoms you mention. Be sure and run it by your physician first if you decide to try it.
http://psychologytoday.com/rss/pto-20031014-000003.html
Kindest regards,
tt