Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Ami on August 30, 2009, 03:10:51 PM

Title: My Rules For Living
Post by: Ami on August 30, 2009, 03:10:51 PM: I am going to add to these as I change .

1. You have to be totally in love with yourself i.e take care of yourself, lavish praise on yourself, be exceedingly gentle with yourself, be true to yourself, be true to your emotions

2 Be the Center of Your Universe---Own your own position by making yourself as confident as you can be.
How? By learning who you really are and who others really are and then be who you WANT to be.
Title: Re: My Rules For Living
Post by: Meh on August 30, 2009, 03:24:25 PM: :P You GO GIRL..... You Go!............ :shock: ...................
Title: Re: My Rules For Living
Post by: Ami on August 30, 2009, 03:40:43 PM: YOU are so cute! :o
Title: Re: My Rules For Living
Post by: Meh on August 30, 2009, 04:10:06 PM: You too Ami,

You are sooo scrumptious just like a bedazzled Elvis suit. Sparkly bright like a diamond and musical!
Title: Re: My Rules For Living
Post by: Ami on August 30, 2009, 04:28:07 PM: LOL ((((Helen)))) Now *I* have to accept a compliment :shock: !

PS You are a crazy nut !
Title: Re: My Rules For Living
Post by: Meh on August 30, 2009, 04:46:15 PM: Yeah! Take that!! Where is the emoticon with the tongue that sticks out?

You better watch out because I have super-duper warp speed kryptonite powered compliments.
And, and, and, and, they are magical,..and...and...and..and...and.. no even more magical then yours... yes they are...!
Instead of making people invisible, my compliments make people visible!! Yeah!!...Yes I can prove it.....ya huh! I can.

Ok, I'm just kidding. Going to step back into the adult me for a while. I've hijacked your post....write ya later.

It just makes me crack up when kids are so excited that they can't even get the words out they say and...and...and.....their eyes are so bright and alive and excited...and...and..and..
I love it..
Title: Re: My Rules For Living
Post by: Ami on August 30, 2009, 06:46:35 PM: Well, you can hijack my thread cuz I only have two rules :shock: Ami
Title: Re: My Rules For Living
Post by: Ami on August 30, 2009, 09:45:00 PM: Another rule:
3. Your pain in the outside world IS your pain in your inside world. It won't go away by outside attention. No addiction will take it away--only temporary relief which still feels bad under the fake "good " feeling.
The bad relationship outside IS the bad relationship inside.The shame, pain, fear, abandonment, betrayal, etc. are "who" you have the relationship with NOT the person in front of you.
Ami
Title: Re: My Rules For Living
Post by: Ami on August 31, 2009, 07:48:53 AM: A perception:
A true writer KNOWS the child and can tell me about her.
I have lost touch.
I have read certain books over and over--The Bell Jar, Catcher in the Rye, Animal Farm. They have childlike innocence.
My inner child is stuffed in a dark room b/c she is bad.
Title: Re: My Rules For Living
Post by: Ami on August 31, 2009, 07:59:11 AM: The child takes risks. it feels out IT"S feelings, not feelers to the outside. When you see a vibrant child, that is what is locked up in the voiceless person.
That is what I am hungry for---feeling and connecting with my true heart. That is what I am looking for outside myself.
Title: Re: Ami
Post by: Meh on August 31, 2009, 01:32:01 PM: Re: Ami: "When you see a vibrant child, that is what is locked up in the voiceless person....."

Wow. Your last post stated above, that is so profound. I couldn't agree more.

Ami, Do you ever get surprised by random things that call out to you for no understandable reason? I think that it may be the essential self sending us messages. Example: On the post about playing, I mentioned that when I looked at some photos in a book of boys on old ships my heart dramatically responded to them. I was surprised by my own response because I haven't had any connection with big old ships in my current life.
It RESONATED with me BIG TIME and I did not know why. I think these are very important clues.

What are your clues?
Title: Re: My Rules For Living
Post by: Ami on August 31, 2009, 04:19:46 PM: Well Helen, your writing has inspired me to trust my heart more so I need to say thank you to you, too :lol: Ami
Title: Re: My Rules For Living
Post by: Meh on August 31, 2009, 04:36:32 PM: You are most Welcome Ami.
What is all this suffering worth if it isn't turned into something good?

Ami,

Ok, Remember the Warner Brother's gophers or chip munks and they were goofy polite to each other, they would say things like:
"After you," … "No, I insist, after you!" And they would go on and on.. :P

Ok, I found it, It is the googy gophers. Eh, no I mean goofy not googy.
Here they are:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goofy_Gophers
Title: Re: My Rules For Living
Post by: Ami on August 31, 2009, 06:07:53 PM: What are my clues, Helen?
That is such an interesting question . My friend and I were discussing it other night. WHY do some images, scenes in books and movies, conversations etc stick with you, leave a strong impression on you?
I think our subconscious might be telling us to pay attention.
One scene in Rosemary's Baby stuck with me from sixth grade when I read the book until now. I figured it out last week.
It was a microcosm of my relationship with my F --all there in one scene from Rosemary's Baby.
I think there is always s/thing we need to see but seeing it is not always possible b/c our denial can be too strong. The denial needs to come down before we will be able to see it.
Ami
Title: Re: My Rules For Living
Post by: Sealynx on August 31, 2009, 06:31:15 PM: Great thread Ami,
I will always remember Shirley MacLaine stopping to sign autographs in "Post Card from the Edge." I don't remember if she was going into or out of the treatment center where her daughter was staying, but the message that my mother always took center stage, even when the "event" was mine and I was in pain, was so obvious I couldn't miss it.
S
Title: Re: My Rules For Living
Post by: Ami on August 31, 2009, 10:07:52 PM: (((((Sealynx))))) Thank you! Ami
Title: Re: My Rules For Living
Post by: Ami on September 01, 2009, 07:33:39 AM: The big thing I always told myself was that I had no one. Then, I started thinking of my GM. My Aunt loved her and my Aunt is very decent, unlike my NM, her sister.
My GM was a loved person but she died alone, in bed .
I am loved as an N loves, but that is NOT love.
I see that by how my friend loves me. He sees me.
Title: Re: My Rules For Living
Post by: Ami on September 01, 2009, 07:50:54 AM: I am starting to be able to put the past in the past. The hopeless feelings are from the past. My lack of self worth is from the past. My sucking up to people is from past of having to please my M .
My not being able to have needs or wants is from the past. My not being able to shine is from the past.My not being able to have a solid self is from the past.
As I feel the hopeless feelings, they show me the way out of the distortions.
Title: Re: My Rules For Living
Post by: Ami on September 01, 2009, 09:11:48 AM: Dr G ,is his essays, says the child of an N is either a compliant type or" bite your head off" type. The worst thing my M did was take away my toughness.
Emotional health is balance--not too tough, not too gentle.
You have to have the capacity for both.
Title: Re: My Rules For Living
Post by: Gabben on September 01, 2009, 01:04:31 PM: Quote from: Ami on September 01, 2009, 09:11:48 AM
Dr G ,is his essays, says the child of an N is either a compliant type or" bite your head off" type. The worst thing my M did was take away my toughness.
Emotional health is balance--not too tough, not too gentle.
You have to have the capacity for both.

Ami - My mind and heart is quiet these days, not much to share or write, but I am following and reading. Your voice and healing is being heard.

Lise
Title: Re: My Rules For Living
Post by: Ami on September 01, 2009, 01:13:14 PM: Thank you, (((Lise)))) for being so genuinely caring and concerned for others.
I am doing better but it is so SLOW :shock: xxoo Ami
Title: Re: My Rules For Living
Post by: Meh on September 01, 2009, 02:10:23 PM: Quote from: Ami on September 01, 2009, 07:50:54 AM

My not being able to shine is from the past.

Ami, You already are a glimmering star in the dark expanse of emotional night. A bright and hopeful twinkle coming to life in the midst of darkness.
Title: Re: My Rules For Living
Post by: Ami on September 01, 2009, 03:40:32 PM: Quote from: Helen on September 01, 2009, 02:10:23 PM
Quote from: Ami on September 01, 2009, 07:50:54 AM

My not being able to shine is from the past.

Ami, You already are a glimmering star in the dark expanse of emotional night. A bright and hopeful twinkle coming to life in the midst of darkness.

Thank You, (((Helen)))
Title: Re: My Rules For Living
Post by: Ami on September 02, 2009, 07:10:34 AM: Little by little, I am thinking I am not bad. I am having more memories with feelings. When I was 13, I remember thinking "IS my M ok or is this crazy?"
I was contemplating with my "free' mind not the imprisoned one I took on later.The imprisoned one is what I am trying to leave now.
As I come out of denial, I see her face in more and more detail, her smirk, her blank look, her dumb expression, her idiotic figuring out of things. THIS is the person to whom I gave my mind?
My progress out of 'emotional illness" is slow and painful but it is moving.
Title: Re: My Rules For Living
Post by: Ami on September 02, 2009, 10:56:58 AM: This is my big question for today( and I am serious) Is it bad/wrong/ selfish/ egomaniacal /narcissitic to want a self of my own?
It sounds crazy but I really, really have that question deep inside.
Title: Re: My Rules For Living
Post by: Ami on September 02, 2009, 11:41:11 AM: I think I see "splitting" with my heart. I am noticing people in denial. I see s/one who is so mean saying 'HOW could those people be mean?"
What is happening with that? It has to be a splitting of the bad parts vs good parts.
Then there are people, and I was one who was on 'super nice" most of the time. THAT was a splitting , too. I was not owning the other parts(selfish, childish. immature, having needs etc) .
That was not more real than the first person. What is healthy? Probably owning all your parts and having an adult part which monitors your actions.By 'owning" I mean NOT throwing guilt and shame on yourself when you come in contact with those parts.
This is my thinking at the moment. Any comments would be appreciated!