Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Overcomer on September 04, 2009, 09:15:57 PM

Title: more........
Post by: Overcomer on September 04, 2009, 09:15:57 PM
so on top of evrything else......my beloved coN dad passed away unexpectedly this mornig
Title: Re: more........
Post by: Lollie on September 04, 2009, 09:52:36 PM
Overcomer,
What a shock.
I am so sorry for your loss.
Lollie
Title: Re: more........
Post by: seasons on September 04, 2009, 10:04:32 PM
Dear (((Kelly))),

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.  It's shocking, your going through so much.

My heart and prayers are with you.

love, seasons
Title: Re: more........
Post by: teartracks on September 04, 2009, 10:20:00 PM



Dear Kelly,

I can only imagine how hard this is for you.  I'm so sorry.   You blessed your dad by being who you are, HIS daughter!

Hugs and prayers,

tt

Title: Re: more........
Post by: Hopalong on September 04, 2009, 11:07:17 PM
Dear Kelly,

Thank you so much for telling us.
I can't believe you found the strength.

I am terribly sorry.

I hope love overcomes grief...

With comfort and strength,

Hops
Title: Re: more........
Post by: Izzy_*now* on September 04, 2009, 11:28:51 PM
((((((((((((((((((OC)))))))))))))))))

Best

Izzy
Title: Re: more........
Post by: Ales2 on September 05, 2009, 12:06:05 AM
so sorry to hear about your loss. my heart goes out to you. take good care of yourself during this time.  best, Alesia
Title: Re: more........
Post by: debkor on September 05, 2009, 12:54:34 AM
Kelly,

I am so so sorry.

Hugs

Love
Deb
Title: Re: more........
Post by: Ami on September 05, 2009, 05:39:01 AM
Dear Kelly
 You always seemed like you had a centeredness and a core. I always admired that in you. I can't imagine what it  has taken to come as far as you have with your recent hardships  and traumas.
 I wish I had more words that could help but words have a way of being "too much" when there is nothing to say.
 My heart is with you,now, Kelly.              xxxoooo    Ami

 
Title: Re: more........
Post by: lighter on September 05, 2009, 08:07:14 AM
So sorry, (((Kelly)))

Mo2
Title: Re: more........
Post by: Lucky on September 05, 2009, 08:54:48 AM
I am very sorry to hear about your loss.
Title: Re: more........
Post by: Sealynx on September 05, 2009, 11:38:10 AM
I'm so sorry for you loss Kelly,
S
Title: Re: more........
Post by: Dr. Richard Grossman on September 05, 2009, 12:08:33 PM
I'm very sorry, Kelly...

Best wishes,

Richard
Title: Re: more........
Post by: HeartofPilgrimage on September 05, 2009, 12:22:23 PM
I am so sorry that you have had this loss. Words are inadequate, but I am thinking of you.
Title: Re: more........
Post by: JustKathy on September 05, 2009, 04:13:07 PM
{{{{{{{{{{Kelly}}}}}}}}}

I am SO sorry. I don't even know what to say. You are going through SO much already.

I am sending my best wishes and thoughts your way. Please take care of yourself. Stay strong. Stress is not good for you right now. Easier said than done, I know, but try to be strong.

We're here for you.

Kathy
Title: Re: more........
Post by: Ami on September 06, 2009, 08:24:00 AM
Thinking of you,((( Kelly.))) You have many hard days in front of you with the funeral and all that pain that entails. My heart goes out to you.
                                          xxxxxooo    Ami
Title: Re: more........
Post by: Overcomer on September 06, 2009, 08:51:59 AM
Well thank you everyone....

I was laying in bed fatigued from my chemo.  I got a call at 10:27 am from my mom.  She told me dad and she were at the hospital.....this time it sounded different.

Dad had been in and out of the hospital for the last 21 years.  Triple bypass.  Stints.  I think he had around 12 stints in his heart.  We felt he had nine lives.  He never let his symptoms get so bad.....he would always go to the doc.

I told my mom I was on my way and called my daughter....her reaction was......"what now?"  I said this time seems different.

When I got to the ER I went in and told them my dad's name.  A man came up and said "follow me."  I rounded the corner and saw my mom sitting there in a daze.  I just knew.  She shook her head.  I feel sorry for the people in the ER.  I was sobbing and saying like, NO NO NO!!  Don't you tell me that!!!! 

It was true.  They tried to save him....the paddles, CPR....his lungs filled with fluid.....he had congestive heart failure.....

Then my daughter and her husband and my granddaughter came in.......same scenario with her.  WE all loved my dad.  I wonder how my Nmom felt?  I don't know if everyone will fall apart when she passes......

But we have been together ever sense.  They live in a big house and the big screen always has a football game on....loud!!  My dad talked real loud too.  He was probably hushed a lot by my mom just like I was...  THe house is quiet now.  Except lots of family gathered and so much food was brought over........we ate all day and more food arrived......

My dad was popular......he was 75....I loved him....

Title: Re: more........
Post by: Ami on September 06, 2009, 09:04:20 AM
I know you already know this but you are in shock about the cancer and then this. Try to take the time you can to lie down and be quiet when the times allow.
 Shock and grief are powerful forces.
    xxxxoooo     Ami
Title: Re: more........
Post by: Overcomer on September 06, 2009, 09:22:42 AM
Yeah, 2009 has been a hell of a year!
Title: Re: more........
Post by: KatG on September 06, 2009, 10:19:10 AM
Sending you my thoughts and hopes for you......
Title: Re: more........
Post by: Overcomer on September 06, 2009, 12:02:34 PM
.....and my aunt and the dysfunctional part of the family that squats near my mom to be near her money?  Her husband was lounging in my dad's recliner....none of them cried.....

my dad just bought a brand new van......decked out......all the bells and whistles.........he asked me just a few weeks ago if I wanted it.  I do.  How should I tell my mom without being a vulture and before my aunt's family steps in and tries to get it??
Title: Re: more........
Post by: BonesMS on September 06, 2009, 12:10:09 PM
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Kelly)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Bones
Title: Re: more........
Post by: Ami on September 06, 2009, 07:14:05 PM
.....and my aunt and the dysfunctional part of the family that squats near my mom to be near her money?  Her husband was lounging in my dad's recliner....none of them cried.....

my dad just bought a brand new van......decked out......all the bells and whistles.........he asked me just a few weeks ago if I wanted it.  I do.  How should I tell my mom without being a vulture and before my aunt's family steps in and tries to get it??


That sounds like such a yucky part of life. Just tell them, Kelly!                     Ami
Title: Re: more........
Post by: seasons on September 08, 2009, 11:35:27 AM

Thinking our you, ((Kelly))

love, seasons
Title: Re: more........
Post by: cgm1028 on September 08, 2009, 12:16:28 PM
You have my heartfelt sympathies for all you are going through at this time.  Its so unfair!

Stay strong!
Title: Re: more........
Post by: Overcomer on September 09, 2009, 08:33:08 PM
09.09.09 we laid my precious father to rest......I will miss him!
Title: Re: more........
Post by: Hopalong on September 10, 2009, 05:25:47 PM
Mr. Kelly Daddy,

I'm sorry you're gone, I hope you're peaceful, and I KNOW you're proud of your daughter.

Love,
Hops
Title: Re: more........
Post by: Ami on September 10, 2009, 05:28:01 PM
Oh ((Kelly))))
 I am so sorry                                    Ami
Title: Re: more........
Post by: Overcomer on September 13, 2009, 10:26:29 AM
Transitions:

So I finally emerged from the total dominance of my Narcissistic Mother......and what a battle it was.  Hard fought.  Lots of blood, sweat and tears!!

Then my daughter gets married and has a baby.

Then I get a cancer diagnosis and am going through chemo.

Then my middle daughter goes away to college.

Then my precious father dies.

Now I am grieving.  I am tired.  I miss my dad.  I miss my daughter.

What more can I do?  How much more can I take??

It is my turn to LIVE!!!!
Title: Re: more........
Post by: Ami on September 13, 2009, 10:29:23 AM
Transitions:

So I finally emerged from the total dominance of my Narcissistic Mother......and what a battle it was.  Hard fought.  Lots of blood, sweat and tears!!

Then my daughter gets married and has a baby.

Then I get a cancer diagnosis and am going through chemo.

Then my middle daughter goes away to college.

Then my precious father dies.

Now I am grieving.  I am tired.  I miss my dad.  I miss my daughter.

What more can I do?  How much more can I take??

It is my turn to LIVE!!!!


I was just thinking about this, Kelly. Do you feel it is SELFISH to live? I do. Down deep, I think I am sucking the life out of my M if *I* live.
 It is deep and I have just gotten in touch with it from the help of my friend, Helen, who pointed it out from one of my posts. Maybe ,it does not apply to you but thought I would get your insights on it.
 ((((((Kelly))))))    Big Hugs  OOOOOOOO                Ami
Title: Re: more........
Post by: Hopalong on September 13, 2009, 12:24:09 PM
Grieve, and rest, hon.

You are still living even in the quietest moments.

Your life has meaning when you're only watching leaves move in a slow breeze.

Your tears of love for your daughter, your Dad, are your heart's honesty.

with love to you,
Hops