Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Meh on May 06, 2011, 01:30:34 AM
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Tonight I'm wondering where "I don't know" comes from. Is "I don't know" the truth of the soul...or a soul that is covered in a shroud.
Is I Don't Know a soul blockage?
Such as "I don't know who I want to be"
I don't know "what I want to do"
How can that be possible?
Is it related to a history of Voicelessness? Is it part of an invisible self that one can not see therefore can not find the DO KNOW of the unseen self?
"I" The Self
"Know" To have knowledge
To say "I don't know" is that like not having knowledge of the self?
What if I have knowledge of the SELF and STILL "DON'T KNOW"
DON'T KNOWINGNESS
I would like to hear any and all input regarding the "I don't know" experience.
Maybe not so much "I don't know what I want for dinner" but more like "I don't know if I shall take the path well traveled or the path less traveled.....or I don't know if I want to be a father.....or I don't know if I want to move to another country....or I don't know if I want to donate a kidney..........or I don't know if should sell my business....or I don't know who I am or where I am going right now.
How can a person not know what their favorite song is or color or food....we all know those things right?
So how can a person not know who they want to be and what they want to do with their lives?
I'm looking for something that is far away from interest inventory survey style thinking....something away from logic and something closer to FEELING or moving or physical knowings and the core of one's being the right answer for SELF.
Like I just know right now that my favorite color at the moment is not green even though it was a few years ago.
Went from green to turquoise and then blue.
Now maybe it's blue and blackish.
That kind of knowing where you just know something even if it doesn't make any rational sense.
How to get from "don't know to do know"
What if the (do know) is just trapped in there somewhere beneath layers of socialization.
Maybe the question I should be asking is "Where is the do know"
For me personally, right now, I do know that I feel THE DO KNOW is not in a binder sitting on a shelf somewhere.
I think I know where the DO KNOW isn't but I'm not 100% sure.
Think the DO KNOW does not lay within my FOO. I think the DO KNOW does not lay in the conventional. I think the DO KNOW is not in a self-help type book or in a computer lab.
It's kind of nerve racking to put my finger on the DO KNOW under pressure when I cant find the DO KNOW right now.
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hi BTR
My 'I don't know' is hidden within me, I believe, and I might never know what it is.
Mind you this is my belief, because I recall quite clearly from when I was very young that I never knew what to do. I wandered from "place to place' (meaning a game here, trying to knit there, another game here, trying to play with siblings, being bullied, cut off my hair, tinkered with the piano) and I was never told that I was good at anything. None of this crap defined me to myself, or put me in a place/postion that my parents and siblings would remember me by.
When raising my daughter, I took an interest in her interests and also tried to, and did, introduce new interests for her and she always seemed confidant with what she was doing, at that particular time
In the long run, since I have written over 500 songs and have set about ½ to music, my own composing, it was the piano tinkering that I think my parents ought to have followed up on, when I was young. As I grew older and heard songs on the radio, I memorized the lyrics and melody and could play them by ear (Now this is good old country and Western music 1956-1985) as far as reading notes is concerned I picked that up years before. Yet this was not commented on at home and never left my home.
To make this shorter, I love Easy Listening, as well, and Semi-classical. I know how often I've wished I could have had lessons and been a concert pianist (but I would sneak a Johnny Cash in there too).
That is what I know.....after I thought a lot about what you wrote because it struck me.
I think it is a matter of the parents paying attention to their children, noting their progress in different areas and perhaps a favourite, like music, art, designing, barn-building whatever and steer them in that direcion (not pushy) with compliments too, and if they back off, then there is another road to start them on.
So I ended up crunching numbers for 55 years with my music all hidden away, but it really could have been the real me.
Does that help you in a way?
I also believe if you "don't find yourself" at a very young age, it can happen later, in school, or later after that.
My daughter always wanted to be an astronaut but getting married stopped her Education. After she left him 10 years and 3 children later, her fascination with the miracle of birth led her to become a midwife! That's about 15 years now and in there somewhere became a certified hypnotherapist. From all her experiences she began to take an interest in writing, so the last I heard she was taking a writing course.
Now I don't think she is picky at all because every experience can lead to a different one, but she has confidence. I like the way that all her successes led to another one.....and all things I could not teach her.
I had no confidence to even think, or try, or even risk a try to.......I don't know. That's why!
Weep, weep
:cry:
Izzy
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How about...
the "do know" is in within a secure location behind a special boundary? That location is so top secret, that no one's really sure it exists... the maps were burned... the handful of people who knew were either sworn to silence or have died, taking their knowledge with them. Like the village of Shangri-La... or city of Atlantis... there's enough evidence to believe it existed once - but of course we don't have enough evidence to be sure.
I believe that the "I don't know" - and the disruption of continuity of "do know" - are caused by not being seen, heard, recognized and allowed to BE ones' self; even in some cases, punished for being one's authentic, genuine self (not the collection of personality "tics" we've adopted in response to a hostile enivronment). The "false self" (in the generic meaning; there is a specific psych meaning for this phrase) winds up being told who it is - and usually there are contradictions, inconsistencies, and an itchy feeling of actually being something one is not; like wearing rough wool in 80 degree heat... while genuine self is banned, exiled & shunned.............. for a variety of reasons, none of them very nice in parents.
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Hi Boat,
Your topic reminds me of something I used to experience in a women's support group I went to years ago. When someone had down energy and seemed stuck, and would circle around a question (such as, what do you like about ___? Not like? Or, what do you think about ___, or, to work on this in your life or take that next step, have you thought about trying ___?).
When the stuck, depressed, or scared woman would respond, "I don't know", Dee would just immediately say, "If you did know..." and keep listening, lovingly hold her attention. After a while, the person would usually find that something more true to herself would surface. Dee would encourage people to just try (even "fake") trusting themselves. Their little experimental sallies toward confidence (when there was no punishment hanging for being wrong or changing one's mind) started layering on top of each other.
To "try out knowing" or answering oneself, "If I did know, what might I say/think next?" seems to help create a self. Just keep listening for the "mights" that your self chooses to dislodge when you are feeling safe and connected to life in some way. Notice how your body is feeling at the same time. If it's taut and spinning and clenched, the "might be ____" that floats up might not be deeper self, but surface fear.
But when you have those moments when all is still, and you feel as though you're listening for the earth's deep hum. And then you consider "If I did know, it might be ___" the answer is likely a right one. A build-able one.
xo
Hops
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:)
My child self might say "I want to run a lavender farm and make related herbal products"
Part of me could get on board with that but maybe it's ok that my adult can't get on board with that you know?
Maybe the inner soul IS UNREALISTIC?? hummmm....
And maybe that above interest could be satisfied by owning a garden...instead of doing it for work.
If I did know...I would say I'm fearful of trying something different. Because if I fail something bad might happen...and whatever I do decide to do I will have to do it alone and with little resources so that leaves me with a constraint of what I can do. So if I have such limitations then I might as well stop considering what I would like to do or be and pick something practical even if I don't like it....even if it may lead me to an emotional implosion somewhere down the road where I say to myself "why am I doing this".
I think the above is both circular thinking but also logical and pragmatic?
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I know someone who wanted to be a fund-raiser for wild animal shelters. So that is what he went to school for and then he moved to a place to do the exact work he wanted to do EVEN if it was not a traditional job listed on a sheet in a binder of jobs on the (increase) vs. jobs on the decline. I just think it's interesting that he knew so clearly and specifically AND that he made it happen.
I wonder if I can access that ability in myself or not....it's yet to be seen.
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Dee would encourage people to just try (even "fake") trusting themselves. Their little experimental sallies toward confidence (when there was no punishment hanging for being wrong or changing one's mind) started layering on top of each other.
...............Just keep listening for the "mights" that your self chooses to dislodge when you are feeling safe and connected to life in some way. Notice how your body is feeling at the same time. If it's taut and spinning and clenched, the "might be ____" that floats up might not be deeper self, but surface fear.
xo
Hops
Thank you.
Mights....I don't know for sure but I FEEL I MIGHT want to do.......
I like that hops it feels more forgiving and less irrevocable.
The right to explore with little steps and the right to make mistakes is in there also.
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The "false self" (in the generic meaning; there is a specific psych meaning for this phrase) winds up being told who it is - and usually there are contradictions, inconsistencies, and an itchy feeling of actually being something one is not; like wearing rough wool in 80 degree heat... while genuine self is banned, exiled & shunned.............. for a variety of reasons, none of them very nice in parents.
Thank you.
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So I ended up crunching numbers for 55 years with my music all hidden away, but it really could have been the real me.
So your inner self has a musician in there but you ended up doing accounting as an occupation, is that correct?
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I think just by reading your responses I have at least gained more specific verbage to define in communicating with others where I am at with my "career development process". I got so annoyed at someone I almost got up and walked out of the room. Almost stormed out. but didn't.
I'm working with someone and have been given a lot of surveys Myer-Briggs type stuff to do and was feeling frustrated because what I DID KNOW was that my process for this needs to be more inspired from an inner mysterious well... not from a standardized survey. What if my false self is answering the questions on the survey. The surveys are basic. I'm creative, analytical, and I have known that for years...so what?
A place, a community an activity and being involved in those things help me so much more than...a computer generated list of results based on me answering questions that I don't even care about...information on paper.
Brochures...and brochures...and more brochures.... NO MORE BROCHURES please. No more papers and irrelevant information.
I know, I need to be open to a little bit, I just get information overwhelm of the wrong type of information.
Very frustrated that a person in indecision is always direct to interest inventory surveys and personality type surveys.
Wouldn't those results be based on who I am now rather then who I want to be?
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So your inner self has a musician in there but you ended up doing accounting as an occupation, is that correct?
Yes BTR, but..................... would I have been a confidant pianist or not? My upbringing left me without confidence.....the lineage backward would all have to be changd to have me have parents who would help build confidence into me.
In life now though, I work with whatever I have left. A gal came over for coffee today and she said, nicely, as we talked, "You no longer have a normal life, do you?"
Sad eh? but it's the truth and I'm happy she didn't try to make things better than they are.
xx
Izzy
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Yes BTR, but..................... would I have been a confidant pianist or not? xx
Izzy
Were you a confident accountant?
Well there is a lot of abnormal in this life. I'm learning to embrace my abnormal I think in the form of conflict experience.
I feel abnormal, I really have my whole life, but we come to this board and explore right? So that is something positive I think.
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You're welcome, Boat.
I like that it helped you.
And that you noticed what it's about (forgiving oneself, kindness to oneself)....
what kind parent wouldn't be tolerant of a little kid learning to build her/his sturdy self by liking peas one day, becoming an astronaut, then deciding to be a gardener, then a cook, then a whatever?
Hurt people's work is to RE-parent their own inner little kid since the process was interrupted by some combo of trauma, abuse, bad parenting, bad genes, or bad luck. Like a plant that got its stalk bent but that can be re-trained toward the sun and still be strong. So literally, with self-talk, that work it to give the kind-parent attitude toward your inner child--show yourself running forgiveness, patience and acceptance. Your yes-no-maybes, experienced without punishment attached to experimenting or changing your mind, are GOOD.
In that kind atmosphere, there's delight in quizzing the self about its own nature. Such a different thing from negative self-talk.
We're not talking Department of Proper Materialists Diplomas, but maturing human beings who, whenever they land on their right livelihood or as close as they get to it, will be peaceful.
(Don't look at me. My work life is one big FOO re-enactment. But with major milestones and new boundaries and such included. So it ain't all bad. I'm still growing.)
xo
Hops
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Couple things come to mind, Boat...
ever hear the phrase "if it feels good, do it"? It used to be sort of a rallying cry for hedonistic, no-rules, 70s types... but for me, it's evolved into more of a gee... I'm enjoying myself... this feels good... I like this... discovery adventure. I already know almost the complete vocabulary of "feeling bad" - so the "feels good" stuff is a nice change. In my experience, things have never really been all one or all the other totally, for more than a short amount of time (with one exception). It's always some sort of mix or blend... and which part I decide to focus on - the "decider" chooses - well, that ends up being what I remember... and those things add up, accumulate over time... and start to be an "I do know I like -------."
And sometimes, the decider changes it's mind. That's OK too!
From an occupational standpoint, I gotta tell ya I much prefer being pegged as a "jack of all trades", a renaissance thinker, a generalist... to limiting my interests to one narrow field; being the penultimate expert in one area. I like mixing up scientific laws with artistic concepts... with a little prose or poetry thrown in set to lively music you can dance to... I like working directly with other people, except for the days I just want to be left alone... etc.
And who'd have thought that with my math blockage, my traditional female role training & art education... I'd wind up being able to write computer code for databases and keep web sites working properly, integrated with other systems on the network. My work life has been one experiment after another... a long safari of expeditions into unknown areas... because I tried a job on for size to see if I liked it.
My point being, with both these observations... that no test or advice or education or personality even can predict what you might find that you enjoy enough, to make a living and maybe a career doing it. Trust your curiosity; your intuition and your interests... try something you always wanted to do and see if you like it... if you don't, you're allowed to change your mind, without having to wear a big red L on your forehead.
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In that kind atmosphere, there's delight in quizzing the self about its own nature. Hops
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I wasn't exactly recommending you throw caution to the wind and put on your Gatsby clothes and paint the town red....
just that if you find something - like your gardening - that feels good (and how many more things are there like this, you might have yet to discover??) then that's a "do know". And from this - like doing the happy dance that your writing for the grant helped get it funded - you can start to develop your way of figuring out what people might pay you to do for them... the dreaded J word: job. Guess I got verbose again. Sorry I lost you there.
But what you said after that, rings a big old bell with me, too. That somehow people who have fun, who enjoy themselves; are open with people and engage in social relationships; friendships -- are always disreputable, not responsible, serious people. I heard this a LOT from my mom; and echoes of it last week from Bro. Part of the "us and them" theme.... and "us" isn't like "them"... because them is bad. It might be the flip side, maybe... of finding out what feels good to you or a complimentary thing, where one affects the other? It was a bit more than that for me... but that's just me.
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I'm simply going to ask myself where be the Do Know?
Thats enough for now. Just to ask the question.
Thata be the do know there. Arrrghh :)
Hey, is that what John Lennon was talking about?
Let it Be, Let it BE, Let it be, Let it be
Absolutely, that is exactly what he meant.
The do know is in the exact same place where the Let it Be is I'm guessing.
Well at least I figured one thing out.
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Now that you mention it - say it that way - YES... I too think the "do know" is exactly where the Let it Be is.
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:D
Wow, Boat.
That was some fine figuring!
Hops
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Yeah, I figure I can figure anything.
Unfortunately my mind is working too hard right now, trying to do it's part like a good worker.
I should have done more letting it be today. I wish I had at least, would have been a very good day to get up out of bed, turn around and go back to sleep again.
It appears that I broke a toe this morning, I mean it's a bad luck day right, So I have a volunteer gig to do, and I like to go because it makes me feel important right, something that I lack so the lure of feeling important and compulsive dependability provokes me to walk onward to my gig where the particular organizer that day really doesn't appear to care if I'm there or not. I stayed because I can't wind down, cant relax, stay in bed. Someone at the volunteer shindig said that she thought I was "intuitive and wise and calm". HA HA HA HA Oh, Well.....maybe I have that effect on her for some unusual reason. It's because I'm faking it...I'm hurt and I'm faking...see it doesn't hurt! See you can't do anything to me, you can't hurt me, look at me, my face and my body says I'm calm...
I should have stayed put, gone nowhere, found some ice and devised an elevation mound of blankets for my foot and just LET IT BE for beejeezus sake.
Now it looks like my foot was struck by a rattlesnake, it looks like a liquefying rat thing.
I have broken a couple of other toes in athletic activities and it didn't look this bad.
I'm just too revved up like my life depends on me showing up. Anyways that's not the point of this post and I could have written it elsewhere I just wish I could have integrated the LET IT BE part a little more deeply into my psyche today.
Sometimes we all just need to LET IT BE, towards ourselves, towards others towards life.
Please god just help me to LET MYSELF BE today.
Also I think I found a book that is related to my question. It was sitting outside at a used bookstore on the way back from my gig.
I'm trying to remember what it was called but it's something about Family and something about the DO KNOW.
One of those books that fall off the shelf right when you are walking by. But I didn't get it.
I had a plan it involved lots of walking tomorrow so there again more whoa just LET IT BE and LIFE on life's terms.
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The "I don't know" is not the end, not a pause, it's a beginning to moving on in the favor of the DO KNOW. I anticipate that the "I don't know will slowly be replaced with the DO KNOW as long as I keep thinking about the DO KNOW, I think I'm more likely to find it rather than focusing on the don't know.
I don't know is a phrase that I have uttered often....I even started singing I don't know....during a voice-lesson class.
The I don't know represents something for me. Maybe it represents fear.....sometimes it really does stand in for a blank...but the blank may not be a void as in a vacuum.
The I don't know is a statement of feeling lost in life, out of place, unwanted, unknown, unreal, or out of time, I don't know takes the place of a longer explanation or a lie to cover up feelings or awkwardness.
Maybe all I need to say as affirmation is I am allowed to......
I'm too tired right now. Let it Be.
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If something doesn't feel "right" or is uncomfortable about your friend who can't stop being in his therapist mode... you probably DO KNOW that you oughta listen to and trust that intuition. No matter the reason, ultimately. Even if it's a mistake...
Even if his interest is platonic and benign... that might be a more complex relationship than you really want to be involved in right now; or you're really learning to appreciate your solitude - and the power of it... or something... and he's "rocking your boat".
The thing about boundaries... they're like fences... sometimes we put them waaaay out away from "us"... and sometimes they're closer in... they move, as we need them to. Sometimes they have gates - which might be locked and one has to ring a bell and ask permission to be admitted... sometimes the gate stands open. Do you think maybe it's the "DO know" that decides this distance of boundaries? I'm asking only coz I'm not sure myself.
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Even if his interest is platonic and benign... that might be a more complex relationship than you really want to be involved in right now;
Uh, I think it would be interesting if you would elaborate more (as you are so good at doing) about --- COMPLEX RELATIONSHIP....
not so much about me making decisions part.....but about what you mean about the concept of complex relationships.
WHAT IS A COMPLEX RELATIONSHIP. complicated...? What do you think??.....?
Let's say it is "benign" as opposed to a malignant relationship HA-HA-HA
What makes it complex as opposed to a simple relationship??
Or complex aquaintanceship opposed to a simple aquaintanceship.
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I don't know what that would be for you. I don't think there's any "absolute criteria" or classifications of relationships - in some respects, Let It Be... is a good policy and works out just fine.
I know, I've had... ummm.... well relationships, where it didn't fit into any neat category. Where we were friends... yes... but sometimes I noticed that I was getting "more" than that - sort of help from the universe via a friend. That's complicated; complex for me, as is the reverse - where the expectation was that I was going to be the supportive friend... but not get that much in return.
Then, there are the relationships where there are undertones, shadings, rumors of; perhaps expectations of reciprocity of a closer relationship than I was ready for - at that moment - and really didn't have the patience for (nor head-empathy-space) to allow at the time. I had other things on my list of priorities than exploring possible close relationships. Like me. Not a lot of "me" to go around at the time... and I didn't feel obligated to pretend to "share", you know?
It's a quagmire for me. I am not a party person either; and while I don't intentionally isolate myself... I do this effectively, in action, anyway... unless I can find a connection to someone; something in common that we share an interest in. But that's just me...
What I wrote was for you... because you can probably find the "do know" about this person in your thoughts and how that makes you feel... about this person. And what you were writing deserves some sitting with. That's all.
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I have to take the word relationship out period. I hate that word. Lets just call it all "man gets himself some booty"
Heterosexual men don't have platonic interests in females, there is always at least a suppressed/repressed sexual motivation IMO from my every single observation of the human animal since I opened my eyes....the one thing that is a fact about this world is that men are horn-dogs and always prioritize one thing in their lives (their own self-image of their sexual prowess).
I verified that he is a therapist. Additionally one of his main areas of interest is substance addiction...sort of ironic somehow.
I bet he is a recovering alcoholic :lol:
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I don't know what that would be for you. I don't think there's any "absolute criteria" or classifications of relationships - in some respects, Let It Be... is a good policy and works out just fine.
Hummm....? PR---- What are you not saying?
You think you were getting help from the universe?-- intelligent , synchronistic universe philosophy?
I Where we were friends... yes... but sometimes I noticed that I was getting "more" than that - sort of help from the universe via a friend. That's complicated; complex for me, as is the reverse - where the expectation was that I was going to be the supportive friend... but not get that much in return.
expectation was that you were going to be the supportive friend.....??
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Do you think maybe it's the "DO know" that decides this distance of boundaries? I'm asking only coz I'm not sure myself.
Um I never answered this earlier...lets see I think the Do Know for me is very specific to me. But if someone else has a Do Know that is not my Do Know. That is what I Know.
I don't put boundaries in the area of My Do Know. They are different barns one red one white.
Hum......I think it's not only a question of personal boundary but of social etiquette. I sort of think it's intrusive that someone would give me unsolicited therapy (CONDESCENDING?)....
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Where is the Do Know?
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WHEW... that was quick and to the point processing! ;)
When your radar about ulterior motives goes off it's worth letting it have it's say in entirety. I think all of us, who've gone through weird FOO-crap have that radar... problem for me was, it took me a long time to believe that a.) it was smarter than the rest of my brain and b.) wanted to help protect me. Then, for me... it went too far to the other extreme; I refused to trust anyone to just be nice people. I don't feel very competent or confident about how I relate to people and I have flailed around a lot trying to find a comfortable space, in me... to be able to get to know people.
And well... the other extreme wasn't any more comfortable than feeling like I was easy pickin's for landsharks or wolves. I wasn't really - but I did crave "connection" and "recognition" from people - of both genders - and I didn't KNOW I wasn't easy pickin's... 'coz I didn't believe I had any right to shape, define, or set limits with other people - and yet I did do this, instinctively whether it was based on my radar... or something else.
And the reason I was trying very hard to fence-sit about this guy... is because I know for a fact that it is possible to be friends - sans the sex motive - with guys; fact is, it's much easier for me to have those kind of mutually supportive, platonic relationships with men than with women. I guess I expect the same kind of double-dealing I got from my mom, you know? And too often, people lived down to that expectation.
I've not had any problems telling guys - wait, hold on... slow down... I'm not ready for this or even to make statements like the one you think will drain you of assertiveness. In fact, that's sort of a "marker" for me... if they agree to back off - and really do it and still are friends... then I can let my guard down, a little more. Making a statement like the one you envisioned, at the right moment... (hell, even at the wrong one...)... is laying down a boundary, at the same time you're staying "I like you ---- enough for this kind of activity together; don't press your luck - I'm paying attention." It was like pracicing boundaries for me - and I got it as wrong as a person could, several times... before I started getting it "righter".
What I'm saying is not even advice, per se... coz only you can know what you're comfortable with. Just another person's way of looking at it, is all. I make no claims to how well it'll fit for you, work for you, or even if it's appropriate... just chatting through some of the issues, from my own experiences. You're free to tell me I'm full of it, and I won't get all huffy! I will however, commend you on the conclusions you're drawing about this particular guy... while I think even therapists deserve to engage in picking up women, forming relationships, etc... it would feel pretty creepy to me, the WAY he's going about it, too.
I'm gonna be gone for a few days; no internet unless I can work a tech miracle and I may not feel like or have time to attempt it. So, I'll have to catch up on the rest of your thoughts and what's goin on... next week. I think you have the situation squared away, all by yourself... sorry I butted in!
(((((Boat)))))
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I don't respect a person who has an education in therapy and is using that in conjunction with the whole modern & shallow dating scene thing.
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Good for you, Boat.
Good radar.
Smart move to look him up on FB and see how he presents himself.
What was he doing touching you on your leg?
What business is it of his to make intimate observations about your "feelings" when he doesn't properly have your permission?
Who cares what his profession is?
That's invading personal space and boundary trespassing regardless, imo.
My squick meter's going off, anyway...
My radar agrees totally with your radar. I don't know about the moral judgment about him--he's just flailing around--but I do think he's trespassing and in a subtle way, trying to take advantage of you.
You don't have to re-isolate or be rattled by him though. You are entirely capable, perceptive and smart.
You probably can't "make him see the wrongness of his behavior" though -- habitual predation in a man that age is an ooooooooold habit.
I'd just tell him, I'm not interested, thank you.
And if he persists, repeat (a bit louder).
He'll bug off.
Doesn't matter who or what he is, your sense of being invaded was good. New notion: good enough.
Maybe part of your challenge is to see that this fine functioning sense doesn't work TOO well, so you're too long upset about it. You have a right to just with dignity say No, stand up and exit to another seat (even if he's mid sentence). Maybe he's just there for you to practice that on. And if it rachets up, louder...
The next step might be, how much of my vital energy will I let him draw off, even worrying about it?
Hops
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Hops, Thank you so much for validating my perceptions even if my seeing might be one-sided in my favor-- that felt really warm to hear that you understood how I felt about him approaching me.
I felt understood after I read your post Hops.
What business is it of his to make intimate observations about your "feelings" when he doesn't properly have your permission?
When you rephrase what I was trying to express I think it reconfirms to me that my concerns are legitimate.
It's probably better not to get all worked up about morals and his profession or anything.
Whatever it's about, it's probably a can of worms I don't want to open.
~ P.S. : I did a little research I was a little bit right, his mother was an Alcoholic. I knew it was in there somewhere. Funny the things people project.