WHEW... that was quick and to the point processing!

When your radar about ulterior motives goes off it's worth letting it have it's say in entirety. I think all of us, who've gone through weird FOO-crap have that radar... problem for me was, it took me a long time to believe that a.) it was smarter than the rest of my brain and b.) wanted to help protect me. Then, for me... it went too far to the other extreme; I refused to trust anyone to just be nice people. I don't feel very competent or confident about how I relate to people and I have flailed around a lot trying to find a comfortable space, in me... to be able to get to know people.
And well... the other extreme wasn't any more comfortable than feeling like I was easy pickin's for landsharks or wolves. I wasn't really - but I did crave "connection" and "recognition" from people - of both genders - and I didn't KNOW I wasn't easy pickin's... 'coz I didn't believe I had any right to shape, define, or set limits with other people - and yet I did do this, instinctively whether it was based on my radar... or something else.
And the reason I was trying very hard to fence-sit about this guy... is because I know for a fact that it is possible to be friends - sans the sex motive - with guys; fact is, it's much easier for me to have those kind of mutually supportive, platonic relationships with men than with women. I guess I expect the same kind of double-dealing I got from my mom, you know? And too often, people lived down to that expectation.
I've not had any problems telling guys - wait, hold on... slow down... I'm not ready for this or even to make statements like the one you think will drain you of assertiveness. In fact, that's sort of a "marker" for me... if they agree to back off - and really do it and still are friends... then I can let my guard down, a little more. Making a statement like the one you envisioned, at the right moment... (hell, even at the wrong one...)... is laying down a boundary, at the same time you're staying "I like you ---- enough for this kind of activity together; don't press your luck - I'm paying attention." It was like pracicing boundaries for me - and I got it as wrong as a person could, several times... before I started getting it "righter".
What I'm saying is not even advice, per se... coz only you can know what you're comfortable with. Just another person's way of looking at it, is all. I make no claims to how well it'll fit for you, work for you, or even if it's appropriate... just chatting through some of the issues, from my own experiences. You're free to tell me I'm full of it, and I won't get all huffy! I will however, commend you on the conclusions you're drawing about this particular guy... while I think even therapists deserve to engage in picking up women, forming relationships, etc... it would feel pretty creepy to me, the WAY he's going about it, too.
I'm gonna be gone for a few days; no internet unless I can work a tech miracle and I may not feel like or have time to attempt it. So, I'll have to catch up on the rest of your thoughts and what's goin on... next week. I think you have the situation squared away, all by yourself... sorry I butted in!
(((((Boat)))))