My Son has special needs...

[kaylebsmommy702]

Ok so I posted before about the custody battle with his N father. I just got my Son evaluated and he was diagnosed with ADHD combined type / Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD). For the past week Ive had my nose in books on this subject, but I was just curious if anyone knew if this could help me in court to get full custody. I know his father wont educate himself on this issue (we all know he wont), and he has already asked me if there is any medication we can put him on. My son is 5. I absolutely refuse to put him on any medication at this age. (Or at any age, unless I have no other choice.) As many of you know, I have petitioned to relocate to another state to live with my parents. When my 7 y/o brother was recognized as being Autistic, my mom was mentored by a wonderful woman, who has also agreed to mentor me once I move back home. (I will be armed with a letter from her for court)! I am ready and willing to do whatever it takes to see my son succeed in life despite this "disability". But it is going to be difficult having to "share" custody, because his father wont even sign a "consent to treat" form, without knowing what it is for and speaking to the doctor. He doesn't want to pay for any of these costly treatments but wants to look like he is "involved". He even asked me who a certain doctor was and "especially if she is a psychologist" he wants to be there. To me that just sounds like he wants to be sure he can somehow manipulate the session, or make sure nothing is said about him. If I only would have known then what I do now about his N ways.... We've already been to the custody evaluator, and she was just so PRO him, but thank God the judge wasn't ; But instead of letting my lawyer do all of the talking this time I think I am going to SPEAK UP!!!! I had a point and question to all this but I guess it ended up just being a vent session. I think I was just curious if there is a law of any sort saying because of this newly diagnosed "disability", the judge will for sure rule for me. It is defiantly in my sons best interest, i guess I just want to be reassured.

[Hopalong]

Hi KM,
I send support, though I know nothing about custody issues.
ODD is a rough one. I had an employee whose daughter had ODD. The young years were very trying but she did grow up and once she got through adolescence, she became more functional. She was in a residential school for a while and that was not neglect on the part of the mother one bit. It was essential.

I'm glad you're reading up and studying all you can. And I hope once the divorce is through that you will be able to create a team. It's great that you're educating yourself and starting early. You definitely want school and treatment support in place while he's young.

((((((((((Kayleb's Mom, and Kayleb))))))))))

Hops

[kaylebsmommy702]

Hops-
What is a residental school? Is that like a boarding school?

[WRITE]

I have friends who had many problems wth their son same age as mine ( 11 now ) for years until he was old enough for a proper diagnosis- Tourette's.
Then he was able to get appropriate support and the whole family is doing well now.
This may not help you personally, but I just wanted to say loads of people with learning disabilities settle down even after immense difficulties and go on to do good things, you're doign all the right things getting education and support.

Good luck with the court issues, I think there are special laws pertaining to disabled children in some states, to ensure their specialist needs are met after divorce.

Oh and vent away! We all do here 

[debkor]

You may want to check out this site I loved it having a child with dyslexia. I learned our rights and was a better advocate for my child.
Here is a little bit I copied for you but so, so, many things.  Ho.

Parents, educators, advocates, and attorneys come to Wrightslaw for accurate, reliable information about special education law, education law, and advocacy for children with disabilities. Begin your search for information in the Advocacy Libraries and Law Libraries. You will find thousands of articles, cases, and free resources about dozens of topics:


Parents of special education students know of Pete Wright. They know his Web site, www.wrightslaw.com. They know he once represented a South Carolina special education student whose parents wanted the school district to reimburse them for her private school tuition. The case went to the U.S. Supreme Court, which ruled in favor of the family.

Wright writes books and travels the country with his wife, Pam, teaching parents how to advocate for their kids. He will be in Atlanta Feb. 11 to speak at the Georgia branch of the International Dyslexia Association's annual conference.

We receive many questions from parents, teachers, and health care providers about special education services for children with ADD/ADHD.

If you are a parent or teacher, you need to educate yourself about this disability, medical treatments, educational methods, and how to present the child's problems to school staff so they want to help.

This page includes FAQs, articles, legal resources, book recommendations, free publications, and a short list of information and support groups.

Many children with Attention Deficit Disorder have other problems that affect learning and behavior, including learning disabilities, Tourette Syndrome, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and Bi-Polar Disorder. Because few school personnel receive adequate training in effective educational approaches for kids with ADHD, they often blame children (and their parents) for behavior that is caused by these neurobiological conditions.

Hope it helps.

Deb

[Hopalong]

Hi KM,
The school this child was in during adolescence was in Maryland, and it was state-run. She lived there during the week, I think...not sure about weekends. It was essentially, residential special ed. She was very bright, but the ODD was very intense so she was too much for her mother to control. If I can find out more about the type of program it was, I'll post it.

Now? She works, she visits her mother, and she is making her way into adulthood.

You're getting on board with diagnoses, etc., early, which means nothing but good things!

hugs
Hops