Despite the fact that I repeatedly told her not to, my mother once again, tried to talk to my nsister. Asking, no begging, her to please stop all of this and spend Christmas Day at their house just like we use to. She (of course) flew into her rage and played her victim card to the hilt!.. She told my mother maybe she would consider doing just that if she ( and me) would stop lying about her all the time, and picking on her. Then continued with the usual of how my mother can't let anything alone and has to keep it up causing a fight..
That's the part my n father heard, and as usual sided with the n sister and started to fight with my mother. Asking my mother why she always has to be fighting with my n sister.
My n sister just eats this up. She was smirking her head off and almost laughing with happiness because once again daddy came to her defense.
Of course my father will never understand that my mother (at 74 yrs old) is dying inside because of all of this. (and it's so hard to teach an old dog new tricks... pardon the expression~ I don't like to relate to my loving mother as an old dog... I try to explain to her about why they do and say what they do, but she doesn't want to hear it. She just wants to fix it..
When my n sister is punishing my mother she keeps my mother's only granddaughter away from her (and that kills her) That's why my mom wants them to come to her house on Christmas... She wants to see her granddaughter (12 years old and doesn't understand any of this either)....
Me and my son will be there no matter what. My son would love it if his cousin would be there too, but that would take a miracle.
My n sister wants my mother and father to come to her house, so they would be on her turf. I don't feel that at their age they should have to be the ones to travel, even though it's not far. But, mom doesn't get around to well anymore.
She'll do it, I know she will if she has to. She does whatever it takes to see her granddaughter.
But it's sad. It's hard on me and my son, dealing with this everyday, and especially on holidays and birthdays, but it's even harder on my mom... It's so hard to have to stand by and see her hurting so badly. Sometimes she just lays and cries for hours and hours.
then gets soooooo depressed I hardly know what to do for her. I did try to get her some counseling.. But she didn't agree with
anything that the counselor told her, about letting go, and stop dwelling..... She keeps telling me that she is going to die of a
broken heart. I am there for her to talk to, vent to, cry with and yes, sometimes I am even able to make her laugh about this mess.
If anyone here is the victim it certainly is NOT my n sister. It is my loving wonderful mom, my sister's 12 year old daughter and my son.. (and me of course, but I am slowing learning to deal, with the help of these message boards, and other research I've been doing my self. )
Thanks for listening to me vent (again) I feel better now...!
Jan
