Alice Miller

[Ami]

James and Papillion (and others) brought Alice Miller to the board.
 I am so thankful. I have only just begun to mine the wisdom of Alice Miller. It would take a lifetime.
 She says you must feel your rage for your parents, in order to heal.
 I ,NEVER,could feel the rage toward my M b/c I had to take care of her needs and I felt sorry for her.
 However, as I was trying to say on "My Voice" thread is that when we ,on the board  feel  trememndous anger towards  a board member, a voice on the computer, it IS an anger from our past.That  anger is not from the present, a person we don't even KNOW, in the computer.
 I, took that concept and applied MY killer anger toward my M. It WAS my M I was angry at b/c I wanted to smash her leeing face with a rock. I did not want to shoot her , but kill her by banging a rock against her head, wiping that smirk off her mocking face, once and for all. Then, after she died, I wanted to resurrect her, and do it over and over ,again.I felt primal rage.
 Today, after feeling that  anger, I DO feel more whole, more able to defend myself, more empowered, stronger.
 Thank you ,James. You Rock, Kid.      Love   Ami
 

[Gabben]

She says you must feel your rage for your parents, in order to heal.
 I ,NEVER,could feel the rage toward my M b/c I had to take care of her needs and I felt sorry for her.
 However, as I was trying to say on "My Voice" thread is that when we ,on the board feel  trememndous anger towards  a board member, a voice on the computer, it IS an anger from our past.That  anger is not from the present, a person we don't even KNOW, in the computer.

Dear Ami,

This is good healing stuff here. As I told you before that Alice Miller's work has touched me and helped me much through out the years in my journey to find my authentic voice.

There is a rule in life called the 10/90 percent rule which says that our emotions are usually out of proportion to reality. This has been true for me.

I have come to learn that the more I heal that old anger and the raw pain under it, by just staying with the feelings, the less reactive I become as well as my shaming and critical internalized parent voice quiets the more I work to release my old stuffed pain.

Anger is just a defense to protect ourselves from the hurt and wrong of others.

Sometimes, our anger is justified.

Anger is not bullying...sometimes it is just truth at injustice.

Lise