Dear Bean
The N family is like a cult. You get lost after you live it. I think it is b/c we are forced to jettison our feelings ,instincts and perceptions like cargo thrown overboard in a sinking ship.We have to morph in to some not real way, too, just to survive.
We have to See no evil, Hear no evil, Speak no evil in our familes. The "evil" of course was what was actually happening.
People who could hang on to their guts don't understand the struggle just to feel :to trust oneself, to be in one's body and respect it's needs.
All this is new to us, like learning Chinese.
You were set up by your FOO to go where you did.
You chose poorly but YOU are not bad. That is the hard thing with abuse:our deep core image that we are bad. I think with God's help and a few people to love us , we can change. xxoooo Ami
