A need to laugh ......

[Bettyanne]

Hi friends....
My daughter Meg is up helping me out with her dad......
So for some reason I said I remember being sick when I was kid....and being told told by NM get your self on the way to school...sick or not sick.....
so I say this to Meg......
She says to me I remember saying to you Mom I don't feel good and she says I say to her oh good do you want to stay home for the month? laughing she says I also say OK lets go out to breakfast!!!!!!!!!!
OMG I took a fit of laughing here which I sure need .....
Today she is a therapist and has done well for herself along with having CF.....
Isn't it amazing when we just love and enjoy our kids....xoxo

[Twoapenny]

Aw Betty that is a lovely story, it's lovely to be able to look back on good and happy memories with our kids and it does show that we can all parent in a different way to the way we were parented (thank goodness).  That made me laugh as well   How are you and Bill doing? xx

[lighter]

Laughter is a balm, isn't it?

I hope everyone your home finds laughter, and seeks it out daily.  I'm sure Bill wants you guys to tell funny stories around him, talk about your lives in general, and treat him as normally as can be managed. 

He's not gone.  He's here, wanting to laugh with you, and chat, and share, bc he's still the Bill he's always been. 

Lighter

[Bettyanne]

Yes we need to laugh with our family not at our family......
It is so so simple.....and even a smile or a kiss.....
My mother never said to me I love you.....never hugged me...she was so cold
But I don't have to ever be anything like her.....
We all can make a new path in this life...even when it is a hard time....
Its the little things or should I say big things like saying I love you that means so much
Bettyanne xoxo

[Hopalong]

((((Bettyanne))))

What's the silliest thing Bill's ever done?

What's the silliest thing YOU'VE ever done?

Big hug,
Hops

[Bettyanne]

Hmmmm???
OK HOPS
I will be back with a answer

[lighter]

Looking forward to it: )

[Bettyanne]

Well I thought and thought and couldn't come up with something funny....but it doesn't mean we don't have a sense of humor....
I think from having this NM with Borderline.....life was about trying to defend myself or I was always doing something for her....it was unending to say in the least....
But......
Bill and I have had a great life together....we have always loved each other.....we enjoyed each others company always.
We have tried to be there for each other always
We were not without problems as we both came from Irish mothers who had little to give their family except on their terms.
I think considering all we have been through hell.....and now dealing with cancer we have been very lucky to have had each other...we met when we were 16 and 17...imagine that and we are now 76 and 77 and not giving up..
Doctor has put Bill on Kaytruda which seems to be working.....Bill or Billy as I call him has been feeling better.....
Meghan our youngest of six children  just told us today she will be getting married soon.....yeah....She is with a nice guy named Jared.
She has cystic fibrosis and is a great therapist as well....so so proud of her and Jared too.
These are things that make life worth wild....amazing what love can give you.....
My family never hugged or kissed each other. or said I love you....and Billy and myself have always done that.....
I feel what a gift I was given when I met him as he asked me to his senior dance...in 1960....how about that!!!
I will leave this and say I am hoping this Kaytruda will help Bill and you never know do we???
Thank you friends.....Love, Bettyanne

[lighter]

What a lovely update, Bettyanne.  The Senior dance in 1960!  Wowsers.  Just meant to be, and I'm glad you found each other so soon in life. 

You saved each other and raised great kids together.  You've built a full, and happy life which is a testimony to your resilience, IME.   

I think you're both very special people.

If you can find SCARE TACTICS, with Tracy Morgan as host, you might find it a very funny show.  At least, that's my hope.  You can search single episodes on YouTube if you don't get Netflix or Amazon Prime. 

Laughter is medicine too: )

Lighter

[Bettyanne]

Yes Lighter
We have had a great life together.....we have been there for each other always.....
My Big mistake was being the daughter of a Borderline with Narcissistic traits.....which I had no control over
If I ever get to do something over it would be to separate myself from her....
The abuse and dysfunction was unbelievable
I could write about and it would take me days to explain.....which some I have written in the past on here.
The abuse was beyond belief.....which I am sure I am not alone in knowing this or should I say experiencing this....??
Perhaps It was my biggest lesson in this lifetime......You can never trust or believe what comes out of their mouths!!!
I didn't even have my own bedroom until age 14....before that I slept with my retared brother in the middle and my dad on the other side of the bed.....NM slept in sofa bed in living room.....When I did get my own room NM said she wanted to be my sister and share my room......I said NO
Her mother had her own room......so who the hell would get a two bedroom house or apt for 5 people?? yes I do know NM
Well.....NM is dead 7 years now dying at 100....she never did anything but what she wanted....
I love your words of kindness and cheering.....it sure feels good to me and I want to thank you so so much...
I am so so grateful to have had Bill in my life.....and will do my best for him always.....and my kids.
Something I never knew as a kid....
Life really teaches us a lot.....and for me I will never forget how I was abuse but also I will never abuse anyone....because that's not what life is about.....
It's really about Love.....xoxo

[Twoapenny]

Oh Bettyanne, you and Bill sound as if you were made for each other!  That on its own is an incredible achievement.  What an amazing life you've given one another.  I think you can be very proud of the fact that, whatever your mum did, it didn't stop you from being able to love and be a good mum yourself.  You've raised a lovely family.  And a wedding to look forward to as well!  I love weddings I've found I've done the opposite with my son that my parents did with us.  We never had nice bedrooms.  Everything for us was an after thought.  The rest of the house was much more important.  I was always very jealous of school friends who had those lovely themed bedrooms, with matching bed covers and curtains.  My son's bedroom has always had a theme, usually picked up from charity shops!  I expect you did the same with yours when they were little.  I found it was like I re-parented myself when I did things like that for him - I don't know if you found the same?

I hope the Kaytruda contines to help.  Give Bill a big cuddle from us xx

[lighter]

Bettyanne, please remember to take good care of yourself.  In these circumstances it's too easy to drop all self care, and focus on your loved one exclusively.

That's a mistake, IME.  You can't respond as effectively if you're drained, and not filling your cup, so to speak. 


Even if it feels odd.... please take time out to DO for yourself.  Whether it's stopping for a calm cup of coffee while out running errands, or adding time to your bathroom ritual.... candles, scented epson salt bath with lovely calming music, or new lovely shampoo and skin care products that make you feel good.  Just make a little time for YOU.

Lighter

ps  CAKE WRECKS website is
very funny TOO! 

[Hopalong]

That's great news about the Kaytruda, Bettyanne!
I hope you and Bill can savor many extra days of more comfort and peace.

It's so nice to read about your and Bill's loving, affectionate life together...
sixty years together! That's astonishing! And it's so lovely that there's a wedding to come,
with its joys and poignant change.

I can see the goodness in you and in your life path. I hope you can keep your eyes and heart
trained on that, going forward. It's really hard to wrench your mind away from rumination on the awful past, isn't it? (Rumination is also known as one of the characteristics of depression.)

I love hearing more positive thoughts come into your posts. When it comes to the past, you have a lot of happy things, about loving Bill and loving your children, to remember and reflect on. I so hope that will soon overpower the painful stuff, or that therapy will help you bring the painful stuff up in such a way that you can work to get more control over those thoughts. There are people who spend their entire old-old age sitting in a chair re-living the worst parts of their lives. And there are others who stay present and work hard to fill their minds with peace. I think you can be one of the latter!

Hope you and Billy have a beautiful afternoon today.

Hugs
Hops