I do not want to be somewhere I'm not supposed to be. If this forum is for only those who have suffered due to a parent, then I feel odd looking into such private parts of others' lives. I do have a 60 yr old friend who is disabled and pretty much a shut in. She's been diagnosed as bipolar and has had a remarkable life, and yet has suffered most of it because of childhood.
I am almost her only friend and after a suicide attempt she was finally diagnosed as bipolar and is now on the right medications, but spent most of her life wondering why she acted as she did. When she told me the diagnosis after several weeks in a mental hospital I researched the disorder until I could help her understand herself. A book could be written on this woman's life and the courage and determination she has had, and now in these later years and with her doing better than any other time in her life ... her 80 year old father, who had nowhere else to turn has moved in on her property. I was so afraid for her because on one hand she knew he had done all of them terribly and had told me enough for me to be worried, but when she was around him she always seemed to turn into a little girl again.
Because he had already lived a short while with her sister I had heard how hard he was to get along with, and how demanding he was and so the thought of him moving in on 'L' just scared me. I was afraid she wasn't up to it mentally or physically. Once again she is amazing me, but I need help from somewhere to make certain what I'm seeing isn't manic behavior on her part. Because of the disability she has little professional help but I did talk her into signing papers there so I could speak for her if I felt it needed to be done. I've watched her go down before, due to ignorance on her disorder and I will not allow that to happen again. She listens to me enough to let me suggest visits to mental health, but only if I do this before she is too far gone. Being in the system and on disability in the state we live in is a joke, so I've come here for help. I am wondering if you can be manic or should I be worried about that if she is sleeping at night, taking her meds ...
It's just with her father there ... well, for the most part she has laid out the rules to him and seems to be sticking to enforcing them. It's just she is so easy to flip flop and feel sorry for him. It is such a sorted history they share. She made up her mind to forgive him about 10 yrs back, and says she did it for herself, not him. And I did witness a huge change in her when this happened, but still ... he works her ... at times she falls for his lies and I thought other adult children of the 'N' could help me to help her. She has no computer and seldom gets out to come here and use mine.
So ... is it okay for me to pry or ask things even though I'm am just the friend of the adult child?
