If you're going to close the joint account and run.....
I think it's an imperative that you seek a Temporary Restraining Order
the day you go.Bank first.... then whichever court it is that issues TPO's. Maybe go to a bank that your husband doesn't know everyone? He may get a heads up from someone there who knows him?
If you don't file the TPO..... you could be accused of trying to keep the children away from an unpstanding father and husband...... just trying to get him back..... being a bitch turning her children against their darling father.
Sad but true.
The TPO won't actually DO anything to keep you safe.... in fact.... it may just enrage your husband more and make you less safe but...... it's a paper trail to the truth in your case.
The Judge and attorneys, including your own attorney, won't be asking you why you didn't take out a TPO if he was so dangerouse.... see where this is going? Everyone assumes you're making stuff up as leverage in a divorce case: (
I guess you begin requesting a psych evaluation
for him.... . and trying to talk everyone out of having you evaluated (hugely expensive.) The court tends to slap evaluations on both parties. It's
extending professional courtesy to the attorneys by having the victim evaluated, same as the abuser, if that makes sense?
It's not appropriate to require a victim be evaluated, btw. Being a victim isn't a psych disorder. Being an abuser, is.
When visitation with father begins.... safety for you and the children should be the priority. Not making sure your husbands attorney is placated bc all these guys play golf together and call each other by their first names.
If you're not careful, they'll talk you into sticking your neck out and letting your H chop off your head.... just bc they don't believe you and it would require they think instead of file the same old paperwork, business as usual.
It's your job to keep you and your children safe. Don't expect anyone else to do it for you. You're thinking ahead.... be prepared to keep doing it and try to line up help. Stick to your guns, calm, professional but as soft and non bitchey as you can manage.
This is going to be a long bumpy scary ride. ::sending you strength and courage::.
