strange term used by my nmom

[Dawning]

Hi everyone.  I'd like to ask you all for any insights/similar experiences regarding today's email from nmom.  first, i got an email saying that she'll be online and that "maybe we could have a *lil* chat."  I didn't respond.  No chat.  I checked my emails again and there was a 2nd msg saying, "it seems you are out of pocket.  sorry i missed you.  maybe some other time."  

I checked the definition of out of pocket  http://www.hyperdictionary.com/dictionary/out+of+pocket and I got the furrowed brow look.  What on earth was she thinking or what hidden agenda is/was she trying to push by using that expression?      

I really don't want this woman inside my head.  If she was reading this now, she would probably derive some pleasure in knowing that she got to me.     I don't trust her intentions at all.  

Any insights greatly appreciated.

[Anonymous]

I think your mother misused the expression. She probably meant "offline." In any case, I'd ignore it completely. Out of pocket generally means "having no money."

bunny

[Moonflower]

....

[Ellie]

I would use 'Out of pocket" as unavailable or offline. Maybe your mom is trying to be computer literate, only to be found out that she really isn't. Instead of getting frustrated with her, let her be the brunt of the joke. Next time you email her, just say "offline mom, not out of pocket" and snicker.

[Dawning]

Thank you bunny, Moonflower and Ellie.

Its a big help to know I can raise these seemingly small little things on the board too.   Your replies put my mind to rest.

Oftentimes, I have no clue as to why she says the things she does.  But I learned - subconsciously - as a child not to trust a damn thing that comes out of her mouth, especially when she wants something.

[Michelle]

Hi Dawning -

I can totally see why her remark would make you a little unsure.  After all, you really can't tell online what "tone" someone had.  And that could make all the difference!     I agree with others that I have also used that term pretty frequently.  I say don't lose any sleep over it and I like Ellie's idea of making the joke - just in case she was trying to be purposefully rude and mean.

((((((((((Dawning))))))))))

Michelle

[flower]

If my mom said that I would think that she meant I belonged in her pocket.

The above responses are good. Here is an online resource for idioms, where I found an answer by using the search "pocket."

http://dictionary.cambridge.org/define.asp?key=pocket*1+0&dict=I


This definition of to be "in somebody's pocket" fits the feeling I got about your mom (from my experience with a Nmom) when I first read about the term your mom used:

http://dictionary.cambridge.org/define.asp?key=61010&dict=CALD

[Dawning]

flower,

this is the one!

Definition
in sb's pocket DISAPPROVING
in a situation where someone has power or control over you:
The head teacher has the school governors completely in her pocket/The school governors are completely in the head teacher's pocket.

She's so good at coming up with phrases that can be interpreted in more than one way to leave me guessing.   Bitch.  She completely takes advantage of the parent/child relationship when it suits her and then suddenly when she needs me to be her *best friend* she snaps her fingers and - boom - I'm supposed to be her best friend.  Its like she wants me to be her slave.  

Or possibly, Michelle, she was using the term in a nice and non-threatening way like you do - but I seriously doubt it.

Its sad when you can't trust either of your parents.  

I sometimes wonder if there is anybody - except for most of the people on this board - who cares.  And where are they?  Guess I've got to find them.  I'm sorry if I can come across today as self-lamenting.

[flower]

Dawning,

I think I feel where you are coming from here today. Your post didn't come across as self-lamenting to me. I've sometimes felt this way too, too many times. My daughter once said that all the nice people are hiding somewhere.   I hear you, Dawning.

flower

[genuine]

Hi Dawning,

I have always known "out of pocket" as having no money so I find it so abnormal that she chose that phrase to convey that she missed you online.

If it were my Mum I would immediately think she was taking a dig at my finances as I'm so broke and on disability too for my anxiety disorder. She and Dad ripped me off $10.000 (australian) years ago before I got sick.

The only thing that I can think of without knowing your circumstances was that her intention was to confuse you for some reason only known to her. I can never work out Narcissists.

genuine

[Discounted Girl]

I think the meaning of this slang phrase might be cultural. In the American workplace when you are told that someone is "out of pocket" or will be "out of pocket" it means they are or will be unavailable, not handy (as in your pocket), usually for a defined amount of time. I have never heard it used in reference to money, but when I looked it up at dictionary.com, there are some definitions that relate to money. Now I have heard the expression "is that a pickle in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?" but I think that refers to something else also