Hello all,
I realize I haven't been here in the last while. I was at the front!
Here is the latest on me. For a complete history of my predicament please refer to previous posts.
My parents have decided to move. Yahoooooo! It's not all good but it's mostly good. I have been so diligent along with my wife at not feeding their narcissism and frankly I am proud of it!
We had another court date for this past friday, yesterday actually, and at the last minute their lawyer was speaking with my lawyer. Their lawyer seems to think something is odd with my parents, he is playing it cool in that he told my lawyer that my parents didn't want to go to court, that they would prefer arbitration..In any case my lawyer has been buying time for my wife and I for the past six months now..this has resulted in them progressively destroying their case against us.
( for those not in the know and lacking in time to read my prior posts: My N parents have decided to force a sale of our commonly owned property. They do not live in our house with us but have a deluxe granny suite adjoined to ours)
The most recent developments will do more than just buy time for us. My wife and I will no longer have them in our face and we will take a few weeks of peace to ourselves before resuming our case against them. My N parents have gone around telling people that they have payed for everything and that we are living off them..typical N bull...
Our accounting clearly demonstrates that their position is a lie and we are counter suing them as a result. We have decided to involved the ministry of National Revenue ( Our version of the IRS in the USA) because they graciously allowed themselves to make deductions off our business on the property while not paying for them. This is also typical N behaviour. For Ns the rule of life is " How much can I get away with?" Ns boldly say things, do things and try to get away with it..when they are caught outright they retreat, become victims and shine their worlview ( mirror) right back in your face.
And so now they have bought a deluxe condo somewhere and are leaving..a drama that is increasingly amusing to watch!
And so, when they are well established in their new life, they will be further pursued by my wife and I and the Revenue ministry..and the dominoes will fall..one by one.
Tinkergirl once said to me, " This is your time Nic, enjoy it!" and I'm beginning to do that. Not that I couldn't have lived on without all this believe me!!!
I do still have moments when I think how "nice" it would have been if all this hadn't happened but i know now that it was bound to happen, and It is happening! follow?
I feel no guilt, none at all at saying goodbye to the illusion.
Want to buy some illusions, slightly used, second hand..want to buy some illusions reaching high, built on sand so the song goes!
I'm letting go of the fantasy of living in an N family and it is becoming more and more true..my life that is!
It is truly amazing to realize how much of an illusion my family was, and how I had bought into the system. I sometimes tell people that I was manoeuvering through all this in an attempt to survive, to be heard, to feel alive..the deception is that all that time I was dead..barely breathing, without a voice.
My parents are doing what all your parents are doing, trying to forgive and forget ( Ns can't do that, certainly not elderly Ns like my parents) they try and smile and waive at me every once in a while, just to see if they still have a hold on me; to test if I'm still responding to the conditionning ..AND I"M NOT. It's vital that I don't.
As you know I'm a Christian, you know the one who said nothing while he was being accused, the one who said " let the dead bury the dead"..well it's true, let the dead bury the dead, i'm living that truth right now.
I've got so much to say to you all but i'm lacking time.
Let me just encourage you to not feel guilty about being who you are, I'm convinced now that leaving my N adoptive parents is the most healthy choice for me. More later.
PS/ it's no fun paying through the nose for lawyers, but freedom is worth every bloody penny!
Kindest regards Nic
