Nboss strikes again

[Hopalong]

Bless you, kind Sea. I hope you're right and deep down, need to take the leap of faith that you are.

I'll just tell myself it's so.

Thank you for the comforting and reassuring thoughts, they mean a lot to me.

Lots of love,
Hops

[Gaining Strength]

I've been away for I don't know how long (feeling the impotence of ghosts of voicelessness revisit me).  I checked in to learn what you are going through. Makes me heartsick.  You have been through so much.  Of course I wish anyone could wave a magic wand to set you in a marvellous work situation.

The one satisfying bit was at the end of the meeting. I asked, may I speak? (And since CEO was there, Nboss couldn't very well pretend I had no right to). And for about 10-15 minutes, I calmly told him everything I'd observed about him over the years, detailing his cruelty and manipulation. I said it was true I had some resentment, based on X incident and X devaluing and X belittlement and X sexism and X bullying, etc. And ended by saying how clear it was that any confident, assertive woman with education, broad experience and skills was an enormous, uppity threat to the way he sees the world. I ended by saying I've had many bosses, good and bad, in my long career, and that he is the single most toxic person I have ever worked for. [\quote]

I remember when you first started working there.  He was such an N even from the beginning.  I can hardly believe it has been 9 years.  I don't imagine it has ever been easy and heavens knows you deserve to be appreciated and celebrated for your  ability and your gifts.  You deserve that.  I believe you will find your place in employment.  An organization  would be lucky.  But the stress of going through the search is difficult and I hope that you can find ways to protect your psyche during this time. 

I am thinking of you, sending strength and courage.  - GS

[Hopalong]

Oh (((((((((((GS))))))))))))),

Thank you so very much.
And how good to hear your voice.

Over on my Job Hunt thread you can read the blow-by-blow...you're right, it was rough. As long as I get economically secure somehow...I'll be SO glad forever to be away from Nboss. Permanently. There's still hope!

And how are YOU? Please, really, do, start up a new thread and fill us in.

With love,
Hops

[Hopalong]

I really enjoyed re-reading this topic this morning. It made SO clear to me why I am lucky I got myself fired. Subconscious rules!

Came up in my mind because I am about to get my distribution of employee-ownership "shares" -- which Nboss touted nonstop as evidence of his determination to make his employees secure, etc. All while he paid as little as he could get away with to warehouse workers and support staff, and while doing his delicious mental Nabuse.

Art Director (my good pal, the young man I shared an office with and still see--he's invited me to his wedding and comes over for a beer now and then) moved on a couple years ago. I wrote him an incredible letter of recommendation and he got a new position with better pay at an interesting company that values and respects him. CEO young man I thought was a friend was cowed by my departure and never picked up on future friendship, has since divorced and was seen drinking in his car in the parking lot. Nearly everyone else, sadly, got laid off during the pandemic.

My shares are worth 50% of what they were when I left, but it's still a small but nice boost to my emergency fund. They could legally delay paying me out for five years and did. Others, who had worked there for fewer years, got virtually nothing.

The other reason it popped up was an article about narcissistic bosses in the Post.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2020/12/30/after-suffering-abuse-two-narcissistic-bosses-im-leery-working-others/

I think you do have to get an online subscription to read the Comments, but I enjoy them a lot (unless it's pure politics, which is endless sniping).

On a friend's recommendation I just subscribed (free) to Heather Cox Richardson's Letters from an American newsletter, which is like a drink of clear, cool water.

hugs,
Hops

[lighter]

I bet it was satisfying to read this thread, Hops.

I'm so happy about your friend getting a better job!!  You're a a good friend, Hops.

Lighter

[Hopalong]

Thanks, Lighter....he's been a sweet friend to me, too.
For several years after we were no longer working together, he'd turn up on my porch with balloons and beer for my birthday. I was so touched by that, and we have a lot of fun talking, too.

And it really did feel good to read through all that again -- sometimes I only know how far I've come when I re-read journals (or here, which is the same) years later.

hugs
Hops

[sKePTiKal]

I think we've all come light-years from where we were Hops. Makes me wonder about the people we haven't heard from lately - like Gaining Strength, Sea Storm, etc. I hope they're well and safe and content.

[Hopalong]

I hope so, too, Amber.
Miss them all.

But maybe we remnants are too attached to give
up this place! I know I am, gladly so.

Happy hugs,
Hops