Nboss strikes again

[Hopalong]

For the last 2 years Nboss has had a new handmaiden. A hyper-religious honey-coated person who has her sincere side, but who behaves as though authority and power are what motivate her most.
Very very sugar-coated, gushing, etc. But from the moment she walked in (she was formerly ProdMan's right hand, for anyone who remembers the saga of his hatred for me), she treated me as a threat.

And she has won. Long story short, my requests for quiet (she shrieks with laughter all day and creates a whole lot of noise, and I have a very hard time--worse than colleagues--concentrating) have irritated her to the point that she stirred the pot with Nboss until it all erupted. He wrote an absolutely vicious, classic, beat-down "writeup" of me for my "not contributing positivity to the company culture" and has had it put in my file.

New Young Man (few years, soon to be CEO) is an ally so I don't think I'm going to lose my job. But it was just remarkably vicious. Attacking my personality, character, very very personal language. Similar to things he's done in the past, and clearly the culmination of all of these years of toxicity.

I can't go anywhere, need to work at least 5 more years. So I'm going to do my best to turn into a Gray Rock and wait him out (he does plan to retire and turn the reins over, and I know the new CEO values me, as does my closest work colleague). But if Nboss on his own was toxic, in combination with ... what shall I call her ... The Saint, the dynamics are ghastly. The office staff seem pretty okay, and new CEO (to be soon) is okay.

Oh. Forgot to say a key point. Nboss wedged his own 23 y/o son into our dept., who has no experience or talent for his tasks, and ... surprise ... turns out his son is vicious too. He complained nonstop to his father about my editing of his work (which tobeCEO described as "incoherent") -- and that's what set Nboss after me. How DARE I.

Oy.

Hops

[Twoapenny]

Oh Hops   I had forgotten all about your troubles at work as it's been such a long time since you mentioned them and they sound just as ghastly now as they did then.  I am so sorry to read that you are trapped with this buffoon, his henchlady and his offspring.  Although glad that your 'in the future' CEO seems to be a good egg.

How long until this hideous one retires?  Will he be taking the noisy lady with him?  I've no practical advice to offer, I'm afraid, although you sound as if you've sorted it in your mind anyway, but wanted to say I'm sorry you're having to deal with this again and hoping it all eases off a bit soon xx

[lighter]

Oh, Hoppy....

so sorry, but it didn't read as badly as I thought it might.

You didn't" lose", you just got smacked around.

Again.

Nboss is an ass, and the people who aren't disordered see that, and they see the Saint and you for what you are.

It's going to be OK. 

::praying Nboss retires soon,  and work life gets better quick::

Lighter

::sending sour mean boppies to NBoss' son::

[Dr. Richard Grossman]

Hi Hops,

It has always been clear on this Board that you are one of the most thoughtful, caring people on the planet.   So it is with great pain that I read how you are being treated.   But we know that people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder are blinded by their own need to self-inflate and put others down in order to "stand out" in comparison—so they cannot distinguish the good (wonderful in your case) from the bad.  And as a result, they end up doing incredible harm to others.  Take care and know that I am thinking of you.

Richard

[Meh]

I agree with the Dr. you are thoughtful Hops.

That sucks. People are Assholes.

Can you do over the ear noise canceling headphones?   Monoprice Hi-Fi DJ Style Acoustic Pro Studio Headphones or something... if you bedazzle it then its art or a fashion statement. Just kidding.  Sorry  I hate trauma at work.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/a8/0a/3a/a80a3ad72d57e9b2f22c697f1c97dd84.jpg

Also practice that facial expression the model is making too. Sort of joking but idk what else can a person do besides making sure their own work space in conducive to work production.

One of my co-workers lost his job I guess, he sat down two seats from me. He was WAY better at salesmanship than I am. I think the only reason I haven't lost my job is because I show up for work and he had too many days he couldn't come to work due to family stuff. Though I would have thought that they would try to work with him, give him unpaid days off or something.

I have nothing more to say other than that sucks, people are assholes and employers are stupid.    I wish I could say something better but you know what I mean.

Oh and also unfair and arbitrary, I would describe workplaces this way.

F-Word-ERS    etc.

[Hopalong]

Tupp, Lighter, Doc G, Boat...

Thank you so much for the kind words. Can't tell you how much it helped to read them tonight before I head back to work tomorrow!

I will be all right. Having friends in the ether, a few close friends in the 3-D, a good and decent T, and a sense that really, although there's plenty wrong with me I truly didn't deserve that treatment...makes me feel basically okay.

Meanwhile, I'll just keep working on my RBF:  http://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/02/fashion/im-not-mad-thats-just-my-resting-b-face.html

Big hugs,
Hops

[Twoapenny]

Tupp, Lighter, Doc G, Boat...

Thank you so much for the kind words. Can't tell you how much it helped to read them tonight before I head back to work tomorrow!

I will be all right. Having friends in the ether, a few close friends in the 3-D, a good and decent T, and a sense that really, although there's plenty wrong with me I truly didn't deserve that treatment...makes me feel basically okay.

Meanwhile, I'll just keep working on my RBF:  http://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/02/fashion/im-not-mad-thats-just-my-resting-b-face.html

Big hugs,
Hops

Sending positive thoughts your way, lovely Hops, and 'get lost, Face-ache' thoughts to Mr Dopey xx

[lighter]

Of course you'll be OK, Hops.

It's like a wave hits us, and then we go through the various stages of dealing with being treated unfairly/egregiously..... and then there's the harm done by bystanders, and sometimes the balm of  bystanders who "get it."

 I think that's the thing that always redeems my faith in humanity.  The people who take the time, and sometimes the risks, to stand up, and speak out, or DO something that helps when they could do nothing.

You're such a nice person..... and maybe that's one of the things that makes the pd's mark you/nice people in general out?

Stay on your path.  Try to re focus your energy on the joyful things, and remember....

this too shall pass.

It's going to be OK.

Lighter

[Hopalong]

Well, it can't be ALL bad when the soon-to-be-new-CEO himself sends me this. (Link below.)

I adore him so once he finally gets a grip on the reins (will take a couple years
for the employee-owners to get over 50% shares, but it's coming)--it'll be a very different atmospher.

http://www.theonion.com/article/boss-able-seamlessly-blend-constructive-criticism--51221

Made my day! I do feel much much better.

Thanks to all of you, supportive Amazons that you are...

love
Hos

[Meh]

[lighter]

Whew, Hoppy.

What a relief to have that support from soon to be boss.... guy.

It's a clear message that he understands the insanity.

That he'll run the show differently.

Right?

Does he talk to you about it?

hhaw

[Hopalong]

Yes, fortunately. Young soon-to-be-boss are on the exact same page regarding Nboss' PD.
Youngboss majored in psychology (before his two MBAs) and married a Norwegian engineer, so he also gets sexism.

It's been a massive relief to have him and the art director, another 30-ish fellow I get along with really well, as companions. Having witnesses even when everything can't be fixed is a real sanity saver.

I'm hanging in FT until age 70 because at that point, your SS income will be about 75% higher for life.

Thanks for asking, things are for now, a lot better.

Hops

[sea storm]

Oh no. Deepest condolences. I trust that you are completely right in your intuitions and observations of this undermining, slandering, manipulative bs of the highest water.
You describe the situation so well and i find myself fascinated by the tactics and .... weird insane group dynamic that is run by people who are highly intelligent but cases of severely arrested development.  This sandbox behaviour of playing one person off against the other and talking behind their backs and trying to Bring A Person Down are so crazimaking.

You must not blame yourself or think that they are right in the slightest way. There is something so unfair about this situation as you are the person I would vote as the least likely to be worthy of put downs in the workplace.   When you say you are challenged attentionally because some twit is noisy in the workplace this is  not good. The emphasis is on the wrong syllable. God, I know this kind of shenanigans so well.  A noisy, attention seeking workmate is surely behaving immaturely in the workplace.  Getting chastized for a normal, healthy reaction is so toxic. If you need ear phones maybe they could chant the truth to you all day long. ie. you are beautiful, exceptional, funny, delightful and totally loveable. I love you, anyway. Oh yes, you are very intelligent and insightful. It is a bloody travesty that one of our special  angels is getting the narcissistic treatment at work.

In order to not bust a gasket I hope there are things that work for you. Detachment, not buying into the slander=backstabbing, extreme humour and role playing.  Venting.

I notice you are not one to stamp up and down, throw tantrums, verbal darts.  I hope you can do a bit of this uncivilized but cathartic behaviour.  There is a toll to one's health in being a target. And in your case sort of a target of a few deranged souls.

Please feel free to keep me up to date on this ongoing problem. For both our sakes.

As for losing.........  You did not lose, be sure of that.   You have that aweful feeling of loss of control after the rug is pulled out from under you. It is real and a siren needs to go off at such times announcing...... Oh this is what it feels like to be the target of a disordered mind.
You haven't lost.... you haven't even played the game.   You are such a winner except you are in a crummy, stupid workplace environment that is socially haywire.

 Tons of love and blessings to you.

Back in the saddle Hops.


Sea storm

[Hopalong]

Aww, Sea. I love you back, girl.
Why do you live so far awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay?

I'm really better. Colleague allies make all the difference, even though we have to whisper or "chat" our secret solidarily messages.

Nboss is off on other tangents. Seems he relieves his tension by attacking me and now we're "good friends" again. I keep wondering
when it might occur to him that someone who smiles brightly (on demand) at him every day just a few days after he's sliced and diced
her just might...possibly...not be behaving authentically...

But then I realize he really doesn't see, doesn't get, and can't possibly. Nism blinds one like that. So I "bless him" (sometimes) and let it go.

Fortunately for me, he's got work to do that mostly keeps him out of my space.

I'm okay. But I love you (and all-a y'all) for perceiving how it felt and saying to me that you get it.

Sometimes, that's actually enough to make it better!

Much love and gratitude,
Hops

[sea storm]

glad to be helpful.  Still Screaming like a crow, flapping behaviour, snivelling loudly with multiple hankies sounds good. Obviously, I am no a stoic. Nor do i have to hang on to this miserable, bottom feeding, life sucking job.
there just must be some way to turn this into lemonade. I am not kidding. You are incredibly articulate and observant, able to read body language from far distances. I know it used to feel to me like i was talking about dirty underwear when I would confess how bad things were at work my muliple teacher bosses. People looked at me like I was crazy so that I soon learned to clam up. Big problem.   
What i am stumbling around trying to say is that it is very welcome to me to hear your story, complete with nuances and hyperbole.  i think at some point, maybe further along, we could laugh maniacly about it and not give the bastards such power.  It is no small thing to take power back from such masters. Nice people don't even have that gene.

Lets talk more about this.

Loads of love, Still screaming and snivellling

Sea