Author Topic: What's New for 2021?  (Read 117762 times)

Hopalong

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Re: What's New for 2021?
« Reply #1620 on: April 05, 2022, 11:27:31 PM »
Just missing you a whole bunch, Tupp.

Big hugs to you and Son,
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

Twoapenny

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Re: What's New for 2021?
« Reply #1621 on: April 08, 2022, 09:22:04 AM »
Just a short one, sorry but I'm so tired and have a stinking cold (not Covid though).  Flat with horrible neighbour is empty, keys have been given back, we never have to go there or anywhere near him again.  Car is loaded for our essentials for new flat in Scotland; we drive up tomorrow (Saturday), spend two nights in B and B there and then collect keys Monday morning.  Our stuff is in storage here; the cannabis smell, fortunately, has gone, driving around with the windows open seems to have done the trick.

We're in the new place on Monday, and then driving back down the country six hours on Thursday as son has a tech festival (three day event) that I bought tickets for at Christmas so he had something to look forward to.  We'll be there until the Sunday, then need to arrange hiring a van to come down and collect the rest of our stuff.  We've registered with doctors up there which is really the most important thing just now.  I think pretty much everything else can just be sorted as it comes along.  I felt so anxious going back there today, I don't know how we've coped to be honest.  Complaint has gone in and I'm asking for compensation.  We'll see what happens.  Going to have a nap now.  Hope everyone else is well xx

Hopalong

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Re: What's New for 2021?
« Reply #1622 on: April 08, 2022, 11:36:33 AM »
Oh Tupp, you GOT it. Thank you so much for letting us know.

I hope you can sleep for three days' straight when you get there, and you and Son both begin your healing processes. Living in simple peace, resting until your bodies and minds can calm and strengthen.

"Joy" seems over the top given how you feel and what you've been through, but I'm feeling quiet joy for you both. Thank god.

With you every mile.

hugs
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

lighter

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Re: What's New for 2021?
« Reply #1623 on: April 08, 2022, 11:55:22 AM »
SO happy for you, Tupp!!!

Scotland!!! 

Rest and update when you can.  Thank you for popping in to share the news.

Lighter




sKePTiKal

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Re: What's New for 2021?
« Reply #1624 on: April 08, 2022, 04:24:17 PM »
I wonder if I can still uncross my fingers & toes? WHEW! I'm so glad you got the flat Tupp.
My best wishes for rest, recovery, settling in and finding it all pleasantly wonderful.
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

Twoapenny

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Re: What's New for 2021?
« Reply #1625 on: April 13, 2022, 04:27:41 AM »
Thanks everyone, just another quick one.  The flat is nice, I like it, we're currently just camping out as most of our stuff is in storage but there's a lot of potential.  The immediate town seems nice, we've been to the local cinema which got the thumbs up from son.  Neighbour, sigh, seems problematic.  There's a shared garden and shared entrance and hallway, only two flats, ours is above hers.  The garden is full of rubbish and dog mess (and wasn't when we looked around, it had obviously been cleared up) and she leaves the rear door and hallway window (shared areas) open all the time, the door so that the dog can go out without her having to leave her flat to open the rear door and the window to alleviate the smell of dog from the internal hall and, I think, cannabis.  I had closed said door and window because apart from the cold (and it's an old building so takes a while to warm up anyway) it's also a security risk as anyone can just walk in.  She got very cross and has made it clear the door stays open and the dog can use the garden whenever it wants.  I'm not getting in to it with her, I had enough of that with the last one and I feel that she is irritating rather than dangerous. We'll carry on with what we're doing and if it's bearable we'll stay, if it isn't we'll look for something else.  We're away at son's gaming festival from tomorrow, then back to the old area the week after to get the rest of our stuff out.  Hoping to go along to a carer's group next week to meet a few people and find out a bit more about what's going on, but there seem to be quite a lot of groups and activities happening.  There isn't much noise from downstairs which is a blessing, the traffic has seemed loud at times but I think that's partly because the place is so empty (we've literally got campbeds and clothes so there's nothing to absorb sound at the minute).  At the minute it's feeling like the pluses are more than the minuses so fingers crossed we'll carry on that way.  Will update more when more time xx

Hopalong

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Re: What's New for 2021?
« Reply #1626 on: April 13, 2022, 05:06:54 PM »
Tupp, it's so good to hear you are safely moved. It makes sense that noise will reduce once your flat's no longer echoing and partly empty.

I am so happy that you LIKE the flat! Hope so much it's going to stay that way and be, if not perfect, good enough for some peace, and settling in, and building a happier life.

Sorry about the courtyard, sigh. There's no shaming other people into changing behavior, that's known. But I wonder if you and Son might do it as a personal Adopt the Courtyard project and just pick it all up once a week? Not about fairness, just to do something positive and sort of Zen with him? Not focusing on her bad behavior, just you and Son enjoying something good? Exercise, instant gratification, good feelings, etc.? You could put some tubs out there and grow some salad and flowers.

The town sounds like a living, functioning community. It will be so great to hear about your explorations and discoveries. I'd love to learn about the cultural stuff. And most of all, finally, your REST and restoration! That'll take time and I hope you'll be kind to yourselves and rest and walk and eat healthy and focus on peace as much as possible. You've had enough stress and conflict. More than.

Big hugs, care about you a lot and am really glad you updated --

Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

lighter

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Re: What's New for 2021?
« Reply #1627 on: April 15, 2022, 08:59:24 AM »
Well, hopefully the dog isn't aggressive and the lady can be handled, Tupp.  People are crazy sometimes. 

Glad ds approved the cinema.  How's the planned event going?

Lighter

Hopalong

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Re: What's New for 2021?
« Reply #1628 on: April 15, 2022, 11:35:33 AM »
Take TREATS if you try it, and proceed
gently, calmly, slowly with the pooch.

Would be neat if the pooch fell in love
with y'all. Change another life. (As if you're
not coping with enough change in your own!)

Dreaming on, as usual....with a smile.

hugs
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

lighter

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Re: What's New for 2021?
« Reply #1629 on: April 16, 2022, 09:25:39 AM »
I bet that dog needs to chase a ball so badly....run, jump, be active.  It might end up being your dog when it's outside and the neighbor's dog when it's inside, who knows,?

The courtyard would seem to belong only to you guys and the dog.  Where is the rubbish coming from, do'ya think?

I hope the tech festival was enjoyable and your cold is gone, Tupp.  Lean into the good stuff...hard, Amazon T. Maybe a little fire pit can be arranged in that courtyard.

Lighter

Hopalong

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Re: What's New for 2021?
« Reply #1630 on: April 29, 2022, 08:56:07 AM »
((((((Tupp))))))

You've put so much mileage on recently, UK to Scotland and backandforth, backandforth....how's the settling in going?

Thinking of you and Son and hoping spring in Scotland is good and there are some pleasant discoveries (and much good rest). Update when you're up for it. If you ain't, not to worry!

Just cawing across the pond. Well. Grunting, mumbling, yapping and woofing. And cawing -- that's before the other birds pitch in. We're in our awesome spring here, which is always replaced too soon by hot muggy summer.

Hugs,
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

sKePTiKal

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Re: What's New for 2021?
« Reply #1631 on: May 18, 2022, 11:57:17 AM »
Hi Tupp. How's it going?
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

Hopalong

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Re: What's New for 2021?
« Reply #1632 on: May 20, 2022, 10:12:29 AM »
Ever hoping, Tupp.

Won't ask you questions or tell you things you should do...but just so hoping you are beginning to feel some spring and are getting as much deep rest, even in naps, as you possibly can.

And have found good doctors including mental health help.

And whatever you're able to try. Trying is good enough.

Last night my covenant group had a deep conversation about resilience. And endurance. It just tapped in very deeply to things each person has faced or is weathering. (Cancer, loss, etc.) I was pretty awed by these women. So many stories are behind our eyes and yet, in some safe circles, they can be told and held.

One of my favorite "principles" of these groups is what's called a Holding Silence. The usual habit in groups is to rush from one person to the next, and it takes some practice to teach them to pause -- especially after someone shares something very vulnerable or painful -- and just hold their story in silence for a minute. Before the next person takes a turn. It's calming, and comforting.

Holding your story, Tupp. Miss you.

hugs
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

Twoapenny

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Re: What's New for 2021?
« Reply #1633 on: May 21, 2022, 02:41:11 PM »
Hi everyone,

Thanks for all the messages and good wishes.  It is much appreciated.  I am just logging on to say a final farewell.

I've been told that in all likelihood previous neighbour's flat was/is being used as part of an organised crime drug distribution network.  It is serious, heavy, nationwide shit and it also seems that some very serious threats were being made in relation to myself and my son.  As this has come from someone in a position of authority I am taking it seriously.  It's been suggested that we were lucky we got ourselves out when we did.

Life, in some ways, is better, and in many is a lot worse.  The area itself is lovely, beautiful, peaceful and welcoming.  People we've met have been warm, friendly and funny.  Son is slowly getting into activities again and is enjoying that, although is still nervous of people being overly nice as he's concerned they will be like previous neighbour and turn very nasty quickly.  The flat is spacious, old and quirky.  Highly troublesome neighbours are moving out; I'm told their flat is being renovated so will be empty for a while and then hopefully will have quiet, clean people in it.

The downside is living costs have gone through the roof incredibly quickly and are likely to continue rising.  We are thousands of pounds in debt and are paying high interest rates as expensive credit cards was the only way I could get the money we needed to get us out quickly.  We've only got mattresses and camping furniture as it was too expensive to move everything else up.  Most of our possessions are still in boxes as we don't have anything to unpack them in to.  The size and quirkiness of the flat also means it will be very cold and draughty over the winter and gas prices are already too high for us to be able to afford to put the heating on for more than an hour or so a day.  We don't need it on at the minute, but obviously in a few months' time we will.  There are no curtain poles, curtains or blinds so we will have to get all of those as well and, however cheaply we do everything, it is still an awful lot of work and money that we don't have available.

Every aspect of son's care is in my head and I have to get the whole lot down on paper so that a care plan can be created and we can start working towards getting care provision in place.  It's a huge amount of work and something that only I can do, because no-one else knows all the information.  My own health is pretty poor.  The NHS is pretty much destroyed; there are huge backlogs because of Covid, as well as the ongoing situation with the virus.  Mental health referrals have gone through the roof and they are constantly dealing with staff shortages as people are off due to Covid or have left because the workload, pay and conditions are just too shoddy and people can do easier work for more money in other occupations.  Covid itself continues to be a constant possibility, however cautious one might be.

We are doing the best we can, but the odds are mightily stacked against us.  The workload is crippling; not just in terms of son's care but also in terms of what we need to do to make the flat habitable before winter and the large sums of money that need to be found 'somewhere' in order to pay the debts off.  The car will likely have to go, as will the internet and possibly the telly as well.  We've managed before without those things but it's hard going and we were both younger then, which made it easier.  Still, it is what it is and we can do no more than get on with it.

So - because of the possible risk of anything I post online giving clues to our whereabouts and because of the very real and serious problems that need very real and serious action to resolve, something has to give, and it will be my 'online' life.  I don't have the time, energy or money to keep all the balls up in the air and need to focus on what is absolutely necessary in our actual life rather than talking about it in cyberland.  My mental health is very fragile and fractured; the meds help but the side effects are difficult to manage and every day is a battle.  Thank you all for the help, support and friendship and particularly Dr G, for putting all of this together in the first place.  I wish everyone the very best for the future and I hope everyone is well and doing okay.

Love, Tupp xx

lighter

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Re: What's New for 2021?
« Reply #1634 on: May 21, 2022, 09:07:50 PM »
Oh, Tupp I'm so sorry things are so scary and difficult for you.  Theyve never been easy,  but the safety issues are critical.  I understand your need to drop off the face of the world for a bit..... and I hope it helps you regain safety and catch up on your bills.

I don't worry about you getting the apartment ready for winter..... I can picture you buying the right curtains second hand, little heaters for the rooms you're in most and making the best of what you have, bc that's what you do.  It's what you've always done and I'm grateful to have shared part of your journey on this forum.

If you decide you want to hear from a friendly voice you don't have to expalin anything to... come back or reach out.  I'm leaving my email in your inbox, just in case.  You can use a computer in the library to  check in, if you need to check in or just want to.

::going to leave e mail now::

Get safe and stay safe, my dear friend.

Lighter