Author Topic: Money is her God! N Mother is a scrooge! Anyone have that?  (Read 7219 times)

zeene

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My mother is a very good scrooge and pays for nothing.  When I was separated from my ex I had to go for immediate custody as he kidnapped the kids.  My ex rang my mother and said he would pay her $200 if she would sign a paper saying bad things against me.  They didn't have a leg to stand on because I know I am a good mother.

Anyway my father told me that N mother agreed to sign the paper against me...for the money.


Nice mother eh?

Anonymous

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Money is her God! N Mother is a scrooge! Anyone have that?
« Reply #1 on: May 11, 2005, 08:38:20 PM »
Oh yes. My N mother threatened to sell my dead father's Rolex watch. Which I had given him and he had willed to me. Because I was between jobs and had to stop sending her money.

Happy ending. I got the watch. But she remained N until she died. And  money was all she cared about for the rest of her life.

zeene

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Money is her God! N Mother is a scrooge! Anyone have that?
« Reply #2 on: May 11, 2005, 09:50:45 PM »
[ Because I was between jobs and had to stop sending her money.

http://why would you have to send her money?  this sounds like a horrible woman too.  How low can you go...selling something that wasn't even yours.  This woman sounds evil just like mine.

I don't get Christmas presents from N Mother....but she gives them to my sister.   Nice eh?

FlowerGirl

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Money is her God! N Mother is a scrooge! Anyone have that?
« Reply #3 on: May 11, 2005, 11:52:26 PM »
Just have to add - I'm in the doghouse for mailing my mother's day card too late (thursday). She conveniently forgets that I didn't get a birthday card (let alone even a symbolic gift) from her last birthday.

--FG

chutzbagirl - guest

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Money is her God! N Mother is a scrooge! Anyone have that?
« Reply #4 on: May 12, 2005, 01:20:29 AM »
Yes, my N Mother withheld my Grandfather's inheritance from me.  She claimed it was because she didn't think I'd finish college and I wouldn't use the money for the purpose he desired.  I graduated Suma Cum Laude.  

When I was little, in the third grade, she gave my brother lunch money but she wouldn't give me any.  Fortunately, a Great Uncle lived with us at the time and started to give me lunch money.  Don't think she ever made me a lunch either.  Never quite had that "mommy connection".  

Pretty unbelievable stories we have...

chutz

d'smom

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Money is her God! N Mother is a scrooge! Anyone have that?
« Reply #5 on: May 12, 2005, 03:18:57 AM »
oh, i just have to share this story.

my Nfather is a multimillioinaire several times over. they were paying $35,000.00 a month in mortgage a few years ago. (thirty five thousand a month)

his parents, my grandparents, nice people whose relatives actually did survive the holocaust, (although many of our family died there) moved across the country at his insistence into an apartment that he bought for them.

my grandmother was a classy lady who had been a decorator in manhattan. she has a lot of art and lovely things and her apartment was beautiful.

after several years my grandfather died of cancer. my grandmother expressed repeatedly that her only wish was to remain in her apartment, becuase it made her feel connected to my grandfather, who she loved very much.

they had a lot of beatiful collectibles, antiques and art there that they had collected over many many years, and it was her sanctuary. she had few friends becuase of moving across the country at her age.

well, my father is very rich. not only that, hes a doctor. he could have afforded to keep her in that apartment well taken care of for the entire rest of her life if he wanted to.

but, as soon as my grandfather died, my father sold her apartment, got rid of all her stuf, and forced her into a nursing home, which she had to pay for herself.

she hated it so much there that she checked herself out, and went to live with distant relatives in a tiny house paying for everything herself. he refused to help support her becuase she wouldnt do what he said.

also becase she was being 'difficult'  she was supposed to be shunned by the rest of the family and noone was allowed to talk to her or find out how she was doing. i missed her a lot, but there was no way i could get to see her.

she told me that she was saving things for me, collectibles that i remember from when i was a little girl, stories she had written about our family history. she also had quite a bit of high quality jewelry that she wanted myself and my daughter to have.

well..... i havent talked with her for a long long time...... and a few months ago i looked her up on the internet to see if i could find her address. well, there was her obituary.

she died, two years ago.

and my father said NOTHING to any of us. just failed to mention it.  and........... not a word was said about anything she saved for me and my daughter. did he take it? what happened to it? its been two years. where is it?

i have no idea what happened to any of her things, photographs, stories, letters...... nobody ever thought to contact me about any of it. im pretty sure that my father found a way to take it, or keep it from us, not that he wants it, but, he doesnt want us to have a connection with her.

that was a pretty stunning and sad thing to find out. if she hadnt given me just a few small things a few years before she died, id have nothing to remember her by at all.

i cant believe he let his own mother (a very nice old yiddish lady) die in poverty two years ago and just pretend like nothing happened. makes me want to puke.

bleagh!!!!   :evil:

chutzbagirl

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Money is her God! N Mother is a scrooge! Anyone have that?
« Reply #6 on: May 12, 2005, 11:06:05 AM »
d's mom,

You have got to be kidding me????   :evil:  Why do these people have the right to breathe?  Sounds so similar to the way my Baba was treated, also a Holocaust Survivor.  I was beside myself with grief.  

She had promised me some of her special jewelry as well.  I'll never see it.  My Uncle, also a millionaire several times over, finageled a way to keep her assets.  He became her guardian - she never did the legal will, or if she did he destroyed it.  

I know she would have been so heartbroken to see how her assets and posessions were handled.  He is such a greedy N.  

chutzbagirl

Anonymous

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Money is her God! N Mother is a scrooge! Anyone have that?
« Reply #7 on: May 12, 2005, 12:12:57 PM »
Quote from: chutzbagirl
You have got to be kidding me????   :evil:  Why do these people have the right to breathe?  Sounds so similar to the way my Baba was treated, also a Holocaust Survivor.  I was beside myself with grief.  



its so so sad. youd think, that they would have some feeling for how precious life would be, after coming through something like that. but no.

3 generations of women now, have lived in isolation without any contact with their family, becuase of this one pervert. his mother, who just died with no family around her, she had two loving grandkids and two great grandkids that she never even saw...... my mother,  who is quicklly approaching the same fate, (he took us away from her when i was 12) and now me, who am living in isolation kept away from my daughter by him.....

the destruction..... sometimes i think the nazies won anyhow.

people were talking about the purpose of life. one thing i know the purpose of life is NOT, is to live and die alone in isolation from those that you love.

Anonymous

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Money is her God! N Mother is a scrooge! Anyone have that?
« Reply #8 on: May 12, 2005, 05:57:28 PM »
I feel so sad when I read this thread. :cry:  :cry:  :cry:

It makes me cry.

I'm so sorry for the cruel things these people have done to you all and for the hurt and frustration and anger and all the rest of the feelings that their behaviour must have caused for you. :(  :(

My grandmother used to say:  "Money is the devil's playmate".

Sometimes it is, in a big way.  Those who want to play with it most are darn close to the old master N himself!! :twisted:  :twisted:

And not just money...but stealing.   Stealing things of little value to them but great value to you.  :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:

(((((((((all)))))))

And Anna:  Your poor Granny....to have lived through hell on earth...and to die knowing her son is so closely related to same type of cruel mentality...how very sad for her.  :(  She's an angel now....if she wasn't already!)
   
GFN


Anonymous

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Money is her God! N Mother is a scrooge! Anyone have that?
« Reply #10 on: May 13, 2005, 03:19:23 PM »
Hi again Zeene:

I'm so sorry that you were so terribly abused.   :(  :shock:  :x  :?  :cry:  :(  :shock:  :?  :cry: I'm sure the memories are awful and produce a lot of thoughts and feelings in you.  

Just wondering are you close to your sibblings?  Are any of them a support to you?

When I think of some of the traumas that happened in my life, or about certain people's behaviour....I feel specific things.  I can pretty well relive those events and it feels like I am right there..experiencing it all over again.  I can feel every feeling and express it.  I can see, hear and even smell the situations.  And I can easily taste the vileness it left.

I don't expect that will ever change for me.  Those things really happened and I really felt that way about it, during it, after it all.  I don't think it's possible or logical to expect any of that to change because it would be like denying what happened or how I felt.

The only thing I can do now is focus on other things...other times....other people....that are not traumatic and painful for me.  I prefer to focus on good things, good people, good places...stuff that makes me feel good and enjoy life.  I'm not saying this is what you should do.  I'm saying that this helped me....to change my focus from the trauma to now and the future.  Only you will know when it is time to do that but I do think there will come a time.

I guess I'm trying to give you some hope.....that you won't always be in pain.  I do think that if you continue contact with your mother, she will continue to create more and more painful events and you will have feelings towards those events.  The best possible thing you could do for yourself, imo, is to cut all contact with her whatsoever.  Get her completely out of your face.

That does sound harsh but I think it's necessary.  She's still behaving in an abusive fashion and you can't stop her.  She's still causing you harm.  You have to do whatever you can to protect yourself from any more of her behaviour and the best way to do that would probably be to quit seeing her all together.   That way she will not have an opportunity to repeat her behaviour.

GFN

Anonymous

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Money is her God! N Mother is a scrooge! Anyone have that?
« Reply #11 on: May 18, 2005, 09:27:19 AM »
Thinking of you Zeene and wondering how you are doing?

((((((((((Zeene)))))))))

GFN

zeene

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Money is her God! N Mother is a scrooge! Anyone have that?
« Reply #12 on: May 19, 2005, 09:40:59 PM »
GFN

 I feel a big sigh of relief knowing that I have had your support...I've been alone with it all for a while...unable to share until now.  I've had some bad memories of my childhood...one just won't go away.  I'm not forcing it to go away...I think its there for a reason...for me to deal with it.  To experience the feelings....to heal...and then to move on.  Not ready to share it yet...it's just that its a cruel one.

I've had a big turn-around in my life since joining this site. I don't feel sorry for N and her lack of attention-seeking supply.    Beginning to see the WHOLE picture for the first time as I see the N clearly and how they operate.  I'm beginning to focus on me and my self-esteem is having a boost.  

I'm so grateful to everyone for their comments...this has been so supportive.  I'm lost for words.

Peace

Zeene

Anonymous

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Money is her God! N Mother is a scrooge! Anyone have that?
« Reply #13 on: May 20, 2005, 12:51:50 PM »
Hi Zeene:

Keep finding myself running back in to post because I forgot someone.  Remebered I'd posted to you and then forgot to look if you posted back...until now ( :oops:  :oops: ).

So glad to hear you are feeling not so alone....that sharing some has helped.....and the big turn around!!!!  These are all good things for you and I am very happy for you. :D

I'm grateful to you for your kind words and will support you more too (in thoughts and prayers).  Keep posting...when you can.  It's a good thing.

I'm away for the week end now!

((((((((Zeene)))))))

GFN

Anonymous

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Money is her God! N Mother is a scrooge! Anyone have that?
« Reply #14 on: May 20, 2005, 01:25:20 PM »
Hi zeene,

Quote
When I was separated from my ex I had to go for immediate custody as he kidnapped the kids. My ex rang my mother and said he would pay her $200 if she would sign a paper saying bad things against me.......Anyway my father told me that N mother agreed to sign the paper against me...for the money.


There are a lot of terrible histories of abuse here, but for sheer
cold-bloodedness that one is near the top.
I wonder if she ever heard the story of Judas, his thirty pieces of silver, and his fate?
Not that it would register of course. She'd probably figure he was just a wimp for feeling remorse. :x

I'm glad you're focusing on yourself and feeling better about who you are, not who she wants you to think you are.
I hope you are able to spit out whatever the thing is you can't talk about yet.
(((((Zeene)))))

mudpup