Well, it happened. She, (my niece, Jenocidal) sort of confronted her mother. Well, she sent her some narcissistic articles anonymously through the internet, but her Nmother knew it was her, because her Nmother, my sister, asked me if it was her. I did not acknowledge, and the conversation ended there. She was only mildly "irritated" by the e-mail, and it seems as though she is totally avoiding it, assuming she is always right about everything and failing to see her daughters desparate pleas for her to finally and for once see the errors of her ways and recognize that SHE IS that narcissistic parent that traumatized her only daughter, beyond comprehension. Do you think she could see it? Because I don't even think she cared enough to really look. If that was me, and my child was trying to show me something truthful and factual about myself, I would know instinctively that I needed to change something drastically about myself and would do everything I could to help my child and bridge the gap so that we could come together again.
It was not to be. Her mother is so wrapped up in herself that she never even noticed her daughter was destroyed, little by little over the years with nowhere to turn. I tried to be there, but I could not replace a mother. I could not stand in her place and be that parent for her, but I tried to show her while growing up that it wasn't her fault because I clearly saw her blaming herself and I saw her self esteem be more and more shattered as the years progressed.
Why won't the narcissistic parent CARE enough to at least LOOK at the possibility that it is them that is to blame? That the way the situation IS at this time and has been in the past, is due to the extreme behaviors that were destructive to her own childrens psyches? Why don't they care enough to stop themselves, get help for crying out christmas.
It was not to be. She is just going on with her self absorption and self denial letting her own daughter deal with this on her own, not only alone but with yet another knife in her back. Not just another knife in her back, but a twisted knife in her back, twisting it over and over again then feeling the sting of metaphorical salt poured in the wounds when even at this late date, she is still as abusive and in denial as she always was. We cannot trust her. For some things, and sometimes, we can. But when it comes to certain things, like her own precious daughter, she can only be trusted to bury the knife in her back yet again. It never ended. No one could believe the extreme nature of her pathology, unless you were a first hand witness to it. It is a cunning and baffling thing, this narcissism. And it never seems to go away. Meanwhile, a mother and daughter are not speaking to eachother "again". For the nth time.
Sorry for being so candid about this, but it really gets under my skin. I love them both, and I have had to stand by and watch their destructive relationship all these years, and how the daughter suffered as a result of a parent that never knew how to show they love them.
It was right there, in black and white, and even if she decided to read it, she never let it affect her and continues on in her denial, which still hurts.
It was her one last ditch effort to show her mother what has been wrong all these years. But it did absolutely nothing.
