Thank you Thank you Thank you

[mum]

Hey, Rob. I would echo GFN's comments.  I have a friend who never quite finds the "right" guy.  I stand by her right to choose and "un"choose whom ever she wishes to share her time with.  My second husband was extremely threatened by her, for some reason.  He was a pretty negative person, lots of deep unresolved childhood/sexual identity stuff (EX husband) but I saw absolutely NO reason at all why she had to be analyzed by him as to why she broke up with whomever.
It's HER life.  
And it's YOUR life. Because you are a nice guy, you probably will want to explain things to the woman, but beyond that, people have limited understanding of anyone else's relationship, and if, like my ex, they are so very interested/threatened/in need of your excuses/explanation....I say, they've probably got to clean their own house first.
It may hurt to have people get the wrong idea about you, if the woman looks hurt and you like a heel......but stay strong.  If you have real friends, they will stick by you and not insist on knowing your detailed motivations.

[Resolution]

Yes it is a great site and like you, I'm very happy to have found it.

Sounds like you have your hands full....one way or other   Does this sound familiar: back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other? Or how's about this: what it was, it wasn't and what it definately wasn't, it was! Maybe she has NPD....or maybe she scores high as a Narcissist. If so, head games will abound and you will become scrabled egg in the process.

At 42, she has history (as we all do) and your answer probably lays within her past relationships. Examine carefully if you care to, but then again why bother if you've already vacated the relationship in all but name. There will however, have been a least one 'hook' by which she drew you in. You might want to also look at your role in whats been going on between you. Why have you stayed in the relationship when its been driving you nuts?

[Anonymous]

Hey, Rob. Sounds like a big predicament - but that you're taking rational and sane steps to get past it.

I think that talking to your brother - and those who know you - outside of this board is a great thing.  This board is a great help, but so are some of those people you can count on as mentors.

Hang-tough and think about how good it will feel to be disentagled from this relationship.

cat - guesting