FC,
be aware that many times we feel 'energised' and 'alive' by being with 'risky' people. WOW!
I think if you read back over old posts, you would see this discussion many times over. It is usually a female phenomenon, but I guess you boys can get caught up in it too. It's that whole thing of being attracted to those "bad boys"/"bad girls" who we think we can rein in and tame (at least that is what most of us girls want to do with the bad boys--maybe you guys want the bad girls to stay "bad"
). If we eventually get healthy, we realize that the last thing we want is someone who needs fixing or that is risky in any way. Those become the major red flags raising themselves up and saying "don't pick me because I will make your life a living HELL."
I'm glad you have gotten some therapy to help you work through these issues so you don't continue to make the same mistakes. I hope you and your new lady friend have fun tonight at the dinner dance and you can just relax and enjoy her company.
Brigid
