Author Topic: You  (Read 4291 times)

Uncle

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You
« on: March 15, 2005, 07:50:43 PM »
I have often wondered what it is you would want for yourself.
I know you are hurt and confused I also know you have felt that way for a very long time. It has nothing to do with me of course as it has nothing to do with anyone really….it all has to do with you. I what for her as she wants for herself as much as I love her. You can’t hear me can you? Your life is full of protection from the things that could be real and beautiful and yes there is pain in real life but you already know of the pain…..the tremendous and relentless pain, the self loathing that you work so hard to stay away from and the gut wrenching shame that follows you everywhere. No one can reach you, sooth you or even for a second make your world a friendly and comfortable place of acceptance, trust and love. I know you can’t hear what I’m saying to you and will look on all this as just more of poor Uncles sicknesses but you will not feel anything for me really not perhaps that you wouldn’t like to but because you can’t. You are too afraid to let the draw bridge down for even a second less the hungry fire breathing dragon will enter your world and completely destroy you and expose you in your stark nakedness and deep shame. You will die first and sadly though there may be many people who care about you engulfing and encircling you when your time on this earth is complete you will die lost and alone and truly feel misunderstood, afraid and unloved. You will not find love or peace on this planet for you can not understand the sickness of your mind that traps you from seeking the very things that could save you. Trust, love, understanding and empathy those things you have learned to fake well but never really had or ever will. It is not your fault it is the narcissism, your affliction your brain that stops you from living and being a whole person instead of the moody easily angered and unforgiving soul that you have been forced to be. It is in the cruelty of your words and the sharpness of your reaching hurt that shows just how much pain you are in and you won’t take a hand from someone who loves you deeply to pull yourself from the quicksand because you are unable to admit it to yourself in the first place. There are some things worse than death….this narcissism is one of those things and ironically you can not find a sympathetic ear or heart to forgive you because you abuse them so if they come even remotely close to you. You can only pretend out of fear you have been found out and out of self interest and your own preservation, you will temporarily fain depth and empathy for someone else. It is indeed the people who feed your demons or the one’s that are most threatening to uncover you that you treat at any given time with respect or dignity as a human being and this is all perfectly justified in your mind. I love you Sally even though you will never be able to love me back because of the cancer in your mind. If indeed there is a god of intervention that god is your only hope. If there is a god of intervention I beg of that god to help you and make you whole. Not for me but for you because no one should be forced to bare such torturous emptiness of a soul. I can only pray for you these things of freedom.

October

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Re: You
« Reply #1 on: March 16, 2005, 05:13:38 AM »
Quote from: Uncle
I can only pray for you these things of freedom.


What a beautiful and sad message to write.  I am sorry.  

Please come and post upstairs - this place is fine but is not visited so often, and you may not get many replies.

Me for you

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Re: You
« Reply #2 on: May 28, 2005, 02:46:43 PM »
Quote from: Uncle
I have often wondered what it is you would want for yourself.

I know you are hurt and confused I also know you have felt that way for a very long time.

You will not find love or peace on this planet .

There are some things worse than death….this narcissism is one of those things .


If what you say is accurate, then why wouldn't a N choose death, if it was an option?  Of course, that's assuming they realize their position in life.  Can a N realize their true lot in life or is this an oxymoron?  If they believe in what you say and are helpless to figure life out...then why not die to find peace?  Should a N care about who they leave behind and what those they leave might experience from this "twisted fate"?

If N are so tragically hopeless as everyone claims, then it seems the world needs to find a better way of pro-actively helping people prone to this brain dys-order.  Like a stage 4 cancer, is it too late to intervene by the time we learn of the problems?  How can we single out those willing participants who are in the greatest need and help to break the cycle?  It seems if families could be followed, rather than only individuals, more progress (over many years) could improve the world.  Are N responsible for much  horror and crisis in the world?  Should a "New Age" Leprotic Island be created for N?  It would only matter that they were not upsetting the rest of the world.  What would life on earth be like then?  
What might the "healthy" world learn from N?  Could it be that N exist to caution the world?   If they marry and have children, does this advance the N world, or can a N have the vision and the strength to always work to "break the cylcle" as they raise their families?

If a N internally feels somehow different from everyone else, does this exasperate the problem? If all hope is given up on N, then where is the world headed?....or is it a futal cause anyway?  What do we do and how do we know the difference?

I, for one, am tired of all this.  Is the easy way ultimately the best way?....usually not.  But.... suffering and hard work doesn't always promise success.  It's a never-ending challenge that requires lots of love and understanding and ,yes, acceptance, in order to have any hope of positive results.  The thought of an on-going lifetime struggle rattles me to exhaustion...with those around me, as well as myself.  How can we each  see and  feel the other's perspective if we haven't lived it?  We are all trying to find love and acceptance...especially from those important people in our lives. Minimizing N fear, and generating safety for vulnerability, needs to explode wide open...equally, honestly, and in a caring manner.  Walk with me, my friend, and I shall never look back.

I think each person must be interested, in a commited way, to put aside all insecurities and fear in finding the truth about any love that has been gifted so gently and eternally.  Only then can the fear begin to heal.  Walk forever with me.  As I feel your soft presence, I continue forward with my head high from the love in my heart.  THIS may be the only hope for life and peace on this planet...regardless who we are!

Searching for you

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You
« Reply #3 on: May 29, 2005, 10:51:42 AM »
Uncle,
I miss you.
 :cry:

Anonymous

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Re: You
« Reply #4 on: May 31, 2005, 06:35:52 PM »
Quote from: Searching for you
Uncle,
I miss you.
 :cry:


Searching for you,

Sally is that you?  If it is...I am totally touched and I hope Uncle reads this.  If it isn't Sally, I hope whoever this is, was equally moved.

Keep your mind and heart open.  This is a huge beginning.
I hope a connection is opened in the near future.   Best to You,

Me for You

Searching for you

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You
« Reply #5 on: June 01, 2005, 09:40:41 AM »
I was a Sally, before I got fixed :cry:

And the fact that there is an Uncle in this world, means that Hope is alive and real.  :D  :lol:

Still
Searching for you

Me for You

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Cry Uncle
« Reply #6 on: June 01, 2005, 08:39:40 PM »
You Hope...
As patients go-- please find me....and quick!
I promise not to be  in(di-)visible

 :roll: