Author Topic: Giving Out my Phone number/personal info is MY RIGHT  (Read 2215 times)


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Giving Out my Phone number/personal info is MY RIGHT
« on: July 31, 2006, 04:22:19 PM »
It is my right, if I am in a convo with someone and I want to say "hey, I like you...maybe we can talk sometime."  It is the person's right to say "well, I prefer keeping things on the computer." 

Usually the whole idea of the online thing is so someone can HIDE because they are avoidant and can't handle ftf contact.  I do not have that problem.  I've been a telemarketer for 15 years and I'm a preacher ftf as well, so I'm not one to run or hide from people at all, unless they are coming toward me with a weapon.

If someone doesn't like that I asked them to call me or for me to call them, then they need to TELL ME THIS, not go to someone else BEHIND MY BACK and complain about it, as I"ve said in another post.  I'm not a mind-reader, like most N's expect people to be.  I would have respected the person's right not to have a phone relationship.

At least now I know why that person no longer private messages me...have wondered why they all of a sudden stopped when I had really thought I was finding someone who could be an eventual friend.  Oh well, guess I need to choose acquaintances more carefully in the future.



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Re: Giving Out my Phone number/personal info is MY RIGHT
« Reply #1 on: July 31, 2006, 07:39:30 PM »
Hi RM--
Except for the part where you label folks avoidant hiders who can't handle ftf contact...

I agree. I think you have a right to give out your # and others can decline, ignore, whatever.

Same time, I can understand why it may have spooked someone. And your tendency to quickly call people...terms, I guess, is off-putting. I think it makes people recoil from you. And that makes me sad for you. I will share a mental image I have, I don't know if it's correct or not, but I perceive you as quite lonely. And really wanting deeper connections with people. (I don't mean to insult you, RM.)

I'm beginning to realize more clearly that some people are genuinely scared of you. It might have been the demonology you talked so much about when you first arrived, or the fact that you go to all-caps (yelling) a lot. I think I do understand why some are triggered into a fear response. Aggressive witnessing can have that effect too. (Family.)

Some may not be.

(It's not that anyone's irrational and thinks you're going to leap out of their monitor. I think it's more that you seem almost violent sometimes in the way your use your voice. I don't think you plan it that way, RM.)

Remember when you went on a retreat and came back in such a gentler mood? That must have felt good. You seemed as though you'd found some nurturing and brought home some peace.

More peace to you,
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."