RM and PB

[reallyME]

Ya know, I've sat here pretty much, and watched things unfold after Penelope and I worked through things together, and I must say that I do not appreciate some people's comments of "naysaying" toward her nor me.  No matter how you all look at what happens on this board, when there is a situation that arises between people, that situation's outcome involves THOSE PEOPLE, NOT YOU. 

Feeling that because two or more people are not in agreement, that it somehow is an attack on your peace or whatever, is, in itself, an unhealthy behavior on "your" part.  It's like how a parent may have done to any of you, insisting that you make them "look good" ...saying to you "now, don't act up, smile, keep your hands in your lap and do not speak unless spoken to.  We are NOT HERE FOR YOUR OPINION SO KEEP IT TO YOURSELF AND MAKE MOMMA PROUD!"  That sort of crap BUGS ME!!!

PB and I have put our best feet forward and not on each others' toes anymore.  If you can't trust that, that is about you and not us, so please understand that I find those types of negative comments about whether this peace between she and I will last or not, to be offensive as well as speaking curses over our relationship as it now stands.

I do forgive you, but please consider my words here.

~Laura

[Portia]

RM Laura

Are there two opposing messages here?

- it’s okay to speak up with an opinion

- but it’s not okay to talk about Laura and Penelope.

I have a question: why does it matter to you what others say about you and Pb?

What I mean is: okay, you find it offensive but suppose they don’t stop talking about it, suppose it goes on and on and gets worse, but falls short of actually breaking board rules?

What will you do?

You can’t control other people, you can control your reactions.

If other people say what you think are offensive things, ignore them, don’t read them or tackle them head on and have a fight about it. It still might not stop them talking. The only thing that works for sure is if you decide simply not to care.

What do you care if others bad-mouth you? Is their opinion that important to you, or are they just being cantankerous and aggressive (is that your problem - or theirs?)?

I bet you won’t agree with me but I keep at it Laura! My opinions, my way of seeing the world.

[reallyME]

Yes keep at it, Portia!  I like your opinions and consider them as valuable

What I mean is: okay, you find it offensive but suppose they don’t stop talking about it, suppose it goes on and on and gets worse, but falls short of actually breaking board rules?

What will you do?

Good point.  I really don't care what people say about me...I was talking about in general.  IF it goes on and on, so be it.  I can't control the spirit of the board or choices of others.  I was merely stating my view as well.

WHat will I do?  GO on living. 

ReallyME

[Portia]

 

[penelope]

me too   thanks Portia, as usual.  You have a very kind way of saying things that I really do want to hear, I do..and I'm open to it - honestly (not always ready to hear it, but open to it) and I truly do appreciate that.

pb

on edit:  Heh.  I just thought of writing And I Will Change If I Have to, I Guess (anybody watch Red Green?!)  too funny

[portia guest]

Pb

You think I'm kind in how i say things to you....but I think I'm straight-to-the-point and sometimes too pointed when i post to you (but when I think about it, I'd be happy to be on the receiving end of it so...hmmm I guess it's plain old fear at the root of it again: fear of "upsetting" people versus what seems obvious to me and so obvious it 'needs' saying by someone - know what I mean? It's like: well if noone else is gonna do this...then i will. So what if I'm wrong?). All work in progress for me, just saying this sort of thing out loud. Thanks!