Hi Kelly,
Your daydream about selling the business, or how you would run it if it were just yours, those sound like valuable ways to visualize a possible plan for the future. In a situation like that, daydreaming seems very useful to me.
My fantasies tend to be escapist. I use them to distract myself from solving the problem. I mean, if the problem is I'm supposed to disengage from an N and instead of fortifying myself with concrete ideas of how to do that, instead I think well, maybe we really can be friends and talk and have fun at work and he'll listen for a change, etc., etc. I mean that's just a pipe dream and it will most likely lead to hurt feelings, mine.
Also, I use fantasies to get some kind of adrenaline going, or whatever chemical it is that gives you a pleasant high. I use it like a crutch or drug. When I don't do it, like lately it has been far less frequent, my body actually feels different. Life looks different. It turns out that I have rarely been in the moment or really paying attention to actual life up to now. It is different to actually be paying attention to my surroundings without some other drama going on in my mind. I think I will learn that I prefer to be paying attention to real life in the moment.
Balance is the secret, like with anything you do. It wouldn't be much of a life if we didn't imagine other possibilities, if we didn't let our imaginations wander sometimes. But it's also perhaps not much of a real life if we don't pay attention to it and fully participate in the moment, even the routine ones. I would have hated to just give up my daydreams and fantasies all at once and arbitrarily. I'm aiming for some kind of balance with how I use my imagination. We'll see how that goes!
Pennyplant
