Hi
I'm a little late in posting here, but was offline for a week. Trying to do some catch-up. I have/had the same issues with daydreamng all my life. Some of it was reality based, most was just imagination. But I found that when life was really getting tough, my imagination was what kept me going. Fantasy, imagery, daydream, whatever you call it, I was told by my therapist that the brain does not know the difference between a "real" memory and a dream or a fantasy. It responds the same way to both. So the feelings I could feel in my imagination were just as real as the feelings old memories stirred up. And i didn;t have to live in the past to enjoy them.
I began keeping a journal of those sweet little dream bits i would get in my sleep of a gorgeous man wrapping me in his arms, or of being in the presence of someone I loved. When my waking-life pain was too much, and my imagination failed, i could re-read (and remember) the feelings associated with those sweet dreams. Somewhere I began to add little sweet moments that happened during the day, such as getting a sincere smile from some hot young thing at McDonalds or seeing a man alone in the grocery store with 3 little children trying desperately to appease them and get his shopping done. Just little things that made me smile spontaneously. (The sound of Jackson Browne singing "It is One" in my headphones was one).
I know the value of having the ability to daydream. Even if it is purely fantasy. It serves me. At least it used to. That is one of the things I seem to have lost in the past 18 months, and I have recently begun to see some signs of it returning. But now my fear is that ALL of my fantasies, dreams, imaginings, etc were nothing but fiction. Useless in a very real, survival sense. It's difficult to fantasize when you can't pay the electric bill or buy food.
Don't know if this helps at all. But some major part of my soul is screaming to tell you
DON'T STOP DREAMING!!!!
~DRAGONSAMM~
