Author Topic: The Emotional Christian (not just for Christians, tho)  (Read 8698 times)

Certain Hope

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Re: The Emotional Christian (not just for Christians, tho)
« Reply #15 on: September 26, 2006, 02:37:51 PM »
Dear Moon,

  Hoping and praying your little one feels better soon. Hugs to you both.

  I've heard it said that wisdom is knowledge applied in the heart... good stuff!

Love,
Hope

Certain Hope

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Re: The Emotional Christian (not just for Christians, tho)
« Reply #16 on: September 26, 2006, 03:41:45 PM »
Oh, cool Moon  :)   My little guy has had a few bad allergy days lately too... pollen count is through the roof lately. Benedryl helps alot.

Hot damp sock across the forehead works wonders, too!

Hugs back,
Hope

Hopalong

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Re: The Emotional Christian (not just for Christians, tho)
« Reply #17 on: September 26, 2006, 07:54:15 PM »
Hi Stormy,

Fear of being:
hurt
judged
inadequate
wrong
rejected
left out
unacknowledged
unappreciated
used
taken for granted
dismissed
shoved aside
abused
forced
dominated
unloved (scarcity model)
burning in hell

Hi Portia,
I read in some book or other about narcissism that saying "I'm so PROUD of you" is a very N-istic thing to do to another person. For the reasons you cite: One feels deflated because it's a little as though, you mean this is a good thing I did just because it delights you? (The inner voice, that you've just given some respect to by your accomplishment, falls silent....)

Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

Portia

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Re: The Emotional Christian (not just for Christians, tho)
« Reply #18 on: September 27, 2006, 07:10:46 AM »
You got it Hops, that makes sense.

Hope

The something about ownership may be a matter of "Oh, so NOW I've finally lived up to your standard?!? And what makes you think YOU can define what's right/good/proper/pride-worthy for me??!"

Nice way to put it, i like it because it makes me think, thanks! I'm not too bothered about other people's standards, it's my independence being threatened i think. If someone patronises or otherwise puts me down, say at work, I tend to be silent and still and just stare. With "I'm so proud of you" I tend to think: 'and what exactly did you have to do with it?'. It reminds me of something I read. A successful author told her friend she was going to visit some foreign countries (for research) and her friend said "oh you're so LUCKY to be able to do that!" and the author wrote - it's not luck, i worked hard and choose to do this and have made it happen. By saying 'you're lucky' to someone in those circumstances you're ignoring their personal agency/responsibility/accomplishments....kind of stripping them of what is rightfully theirs. It's like what Beth was saying about her mother, implying that Beth is successful because she's either lucky or someone is being 'kind' to her or whatnot.

I'm big on personal rights (legal) and everyone's responsibility for themselves. When i get a whiff of that being threatened or diminished, i guess that's what i respond to, inside - and the 'proud of' thing goes that way too - it diminishes someone as a person. I was severely diminised at home so I know where it comes from and I know sometimes that what my brain says in response isn't 'reality'....that's why in the 3D world i tend to stay silent and just stare. Otherwise it might come out of my mouth and I'd have to say "Oooops! Usually I just think that stuff!!" :D

I see what your H means about "No problem". Makes me think about me saying 'no worries' but I hope folks know I mean 'please don't worry, it's not a worry for me and I don't want you to worry'.

Words! Intentions. 8)